Oh Nine, Baby.

Here we are, five days in to a brand-spanking New Year which is usually something I really, really LOVE. I've always fancied that blank calendar smiling at me with all it's promise of potential and change. New beginnings and do-overs and the like.

I will floss daily. I won't procrastinate. I will Change The World... tomorrow. Crap. There goes #2.

I usually do make resolutions, if only cause I tend to be introspective like that. And I usually do so on the first day of the new year, if only cause that's when one is supposed to do such things. But, after 10 years of putting "no procrastinating" on the list in it's various forms and shadings (I will not self-sabotage. I will prioritize. I will not procrastinate. I will not ever, ever procrastinate. I will not ever, ever, ever procrastinate.) it's clear that this is one part of my make-up that I may never change.

So, it's no surprise to me (nor to many of you) that I am behind the curve on the Posting of the Resolutions.

Better late than never, right?

Warning -- these are not weighty, pretentious resolutions. I am not going to resolve to change the world, or love myself more or serve humankind in a new and profound way. Not that I don't think that these are all good resolutions. But, c'mon, people... baby steps. I am just one little Flutter, after all.

Flutterby's New Year Resolutions

1) Bedtime. I need one. Desperately. I don't know if it's cause I'm getting older, or what, but the Flutter that used to be able to pass out in five seconds flat on a hard basement floor and sleep soundly through an air ride siren, waking refreshed and ready for a full day on only five hours sleep is a Flutter I don't know anymore. And, I've also noticed a bad habit of putting off going to bed (and, really, WHAT THE HECK IS THAT ABOUT?) later and later each night. I'm currently at a 2 a.m. set point and that is NOT compatible with, well, anything except fraternizing with street thugs and night creatures. Morning is not my friend and that really, really sucks. Especially cause my new job will have me up at 5:30 a.m. I have two weeks to whip this into shape before I will end up needing a caffeine drip installed directly into a major artery in order to function at work. I'm thinking 10 p.m. is a good, sensible goal to set, but part of me wants to whither and die thinking of going to bed that early. I mean, all those kid-free hours LOST. Time to hang out and be quiet or watch TV or read or surf or do housework and laundry. Me-time. I'm losing HOURS of it. (I do totally realize the selfish, whining tone of this all... I ain't no Mother Teresa) Regardless, going to bed on time is now a necessity. Stupid, ridiculous Responsibility. Sucks.

2) Get off this Hormone Train. I am tired of these ridiculous blemishes and hair issues (It's dry. It's breaking. It's awful.). My hormones are running amuck and it's high time I found out why and what to do about it all. I have a few more tricks up my "natural" sleeve. I am also going in for a crapload of blood tests this week. The results will take up to a month (yay, healthcare system.) so I've got some time to try and work this out myself, yet. My doctor wants me on b/c but... yuck. I hate that idea with the white-hot hate of a thousand suns. Fingers crossed that I won't have to. Whatever the case, I vow that by the end of this year -- hopefully sooner, please, God -- that this will all be resolved and All Better And Back To Normal.

3) Fitness. I know, I know. Very cliche. But I do have some goals in mind that I want and need to accomplish for myself. I think I'm going to start a different blog to track this one down and for accountability. I've always felt kinda weird posting gym stuff here and it's probably best to re-home that topic rather than boring the crap out of people with it.

4) Spiritual Discipline. Actually, most of my resolutions are about discipline, aren't they? Hmmmmm... I have to admit that I find it difficult to talk about spiritual things. To talk about God, really. I don't know why that is, cause I am a spiritual person (we all are, in the larger sense, I guess. I meant that in the individual sense). I've been challenged through some important events and precious people this past year and I would be remiss to not take up this challenge, to allow this vital area of my life to be, well, actually Vital.

5) Being a Girl. I'm going to take time to nurture the feminine side of me. Home-spa nights with my Princess or coffee with a friend and the occasional girls-night-out watching a sappy or profound movie. Nice nails and smooth legs and the occasional splurge on make-up or cute underthings. I will enjoy long baths in the nice tub that I wanted put in our home especially to enjoy long baths in but have not made proper use of until now. I will buy tropical scented bubbles for said bath and try not to light my hair on fire with the candles perched on it's edge. I will have sassy hair and white teeth despite my new love for all things coffee. These things all sound like fun, but I know that they are truly Work. I spent years destroying the Girl in me and those habits die hard. And time is always hard to find and easy to waste.

And that about wraps it up. Sure, there's a lot more that I hope to accomplish this year. This is just all that I dare write down.