Good Lordy, Go Easy On My Heart.

First off, I have to wish all my American friends a Happy Thanksgiving weekend.  :)

Next, I have to share that I am thankful for Sirius' The Highway's Thankgiving feature.  A full weekend of Jason Aldean and his song picks.  There seems to be an extra awesome percentage of Southern boys featured and...

*phew*  I might need to catch my breath.

I am digging these boys like a dog digs holes.  Who knew I was such a sucker for the dirty, dirty South?


Houston, We Have a Moose.

Traveling home on the highway last night, the kids and I had a very close call.  A moose ambled up from the meridian and crossed in front of us.  Thankfully, I was given time enough to brake hard and get my speed down, which made the moment he changed his direction in front of me one of much less impact than most wildlife collisions.  Especially moose/vehicle collisions. 

I feel it to be a merciful act of miraculous proportions that my kids were not harmed even a bit.  And that I have only the most mundane variety of stiff/sore muscles and a couple small scrapes... I am feeling very lucky, indeed. 

Sadly, the moose wasn't so lucky.  He weaved around and collapsed in the ditch about 15 yards away.  The officers responding to the call had to end his misery. 

The moose was one of the largest things I have seen.  Collapsed on the snow, he looked like a small car.  Last night, in between reliving all the moments of the impact and imagining all the worse possible outcomes (why, brain, why?  Why do you do this to me?), I felt sick thinking about how a beautiful creature came to such an awful end. 

On the other hand, he almost killed us, so there's that to consider. 

I have a feeling that my Rocket might be an insurance write off and I'm not pleased about that. But all of that is nothing compared to knowing that my kids are alright.  I don't know how I could handle it had they been hurt.

May it be Your will, Lord my God, to lead me on the way of peace and guide and direct my steps in peace, so that You will bring me happily to my destination, safe and sound. Save me from danger on the way. Give me good grace, kindness and favor in both Your eyes and in the eyes of all whom I may meet. Hear this my prayer, for you are a God who hears to the heart's supplication and communion. Blessed are You, Lord our God, who hears prayer.


Oh, His Papa Would Be Proud.

So, today I'm driving with the Kid in the car; chit chatting and enjoying some time with just my boy as we drop him back to school after lunch break.  Out of the blue he comments:

Kid:  You know, I like rock and roll and everything but --

me:  (encouraging) mmhmmm...

Kid:  I think that my favorite music is Country.

Me:  It's one of my favorites too, it reminds me of back home and Gramma and Papa

Kid:  Yeah, and I sort of think that's what Heaven is gonna sound like.  Like, I don't know for sure, but it sounds like it could be. 

Man, I love this kid. I couldn't help but think back to my two-year old whiz kid getting into the stereo all the time and changing out my CD to put in his favorite one:  Travis Tritt's "Down the Road I Go".  I don't know what it was about that album, but the Kid would want to listen to it constantly.  A couple songs, though, were his absolute favorite and he would click the back button relentlessly to listen to them over and over. And sing.  Would he ever give it his all, singing in that awesome little kid way where they sing out all their own made-up words and throw in the main ones that they can copy.  And so, in honor of my very little baby boy with the discerning musical tastes, stubborn, obsessive nature and incredible aptitude for figuring out how to operate our household electronics, I will share some of his favorites and take a little mama-journey down memory lane while I listen. 

Just a Little Drama at Ye Olde Tattoo Shop...

Went back to get my piercing changed out to a smaller piece of jewelry today.  Some highlights.

Oh hai.  I forgot how cute you were, Mr. Piercer. Sure, I will lay down right here for you.  Sure, I will open my mouth.

(geez... this sounds bad.)  Moving on.

Old piercing is removed and I don't feel a thing, which is awesome.  So awesome.  Cause I was honestly a little bit worried about how it would feel.  I feel I can admit this to you all, seeing how I've come clean about my Giant Inner Wuss.  Big silent sigh of relief.  It would have been an actual sigh, but his hands are now messing with my lip and...


I was not prepared for that.  See, the post starts out nicely in this freshly made little hole, but halfway through, it needs help finding the other side.  Apparently, Mr. Piercer is not a proponent of the Steady, Gentle and Slow method of stud placement.  It appears he's rather fond of the SMUSH THE RAW FLESH OVER THE STUD UNTIL IT CRAMS IT'S WAY THROUGH method.  Which is fine -- Really.  I don't mind.  Sure, it only hurt as badly as getting it pierced in the first place.  And we all know I handled THAT experience so well. 

Yes, the pain was surprising.  I was not super happy with this guy.  The thought crosses my mind that he's not even that good looking in the first place.  Really.  I don't know what I was thinking.  The moment of surprise passes and I do a quick mental inventory.  Consciousness seems to be in hand for the moment.  Yay, me.  Then Mr. Piercer turns to pick up the ball end, releasing the stud and ...

It freakin falls into my mouth.  He's all "oh whoopsie, there, lil camper.  You'll just have to spit that out for me" and all I can think is that if I survive fishing this thing out of my throat and the whole Smush Placement Experience again, I hope to never see this guy again.

I can say with some veracity that it was not any nicer to experience the second time around. The air around my brain might have been silently blue.  Just sayin.  This time, however, he clamps the little end that is sticking out so that it doesn't pop out when he releases it.  Thank you kindly, dude.  Ball end is screwed on tightly and the deed is done.

I get to check it out in the mirror, only to see that my lip looks like a teeny little crime scene, complete with blood spatter patterns worthy of a CSI investigation.  The good news is that I now am sporting a 1/4" 16 gauge piece, rather than the 5/8" one that made me look like Frankenstein's bride.  The bad news is that it's still a plain old steel ball -- no pretty ones for me until the piercing heals totally through and has no trace of swelling.

The really good news?  I totally didn't get even a bit shocky... My Wuss Rehabilitation is starting out on some good footing. 


Heartbreak Hotel

The last couple weeks have been rather insane with commitments and meetings and errands and just about any other time-waster/filler/drainer you can imagine. 

Thankfully, my stints of service on various committees and my league board came to a beautiful, if somewhat screeching end this past weekend as our AGM marked the switch of terms, as well as what I am intending to be my derby retirement. 

It's true that over the past months that I've contemplated retirement that I have had a number of moments of misgivings and second thoughts as well as a gut-deep craving for this stupid sport to yet be a part of my life.  But the fact is that it is time for me to put it behind me and embrace a new focus in my life.  I'm not sure exactly what that will look like, but I can see now how being so wrapped up this interest/commitment/passion of mine wasn't being true to my Source.  My ego loved it, and my selfish nature flourished.  But my heart was not being fed, I can see that now. 

It was timely that in these past weeks some events happened that I felt really shed some light on how transient and fleeting some of my connections are in this league that I have given so much to in the last years.  Some perspective, if you will. 

And even more timely that this weekend unleashed a bit of an emotional crisis for my Princess with the demise of an important long-term relationship for her.  She is well and truly heart-broken and very much in need of some time and nurturing to get her back on her feet, feeling whole again.  It's really quite easy to see where my priorities should lie.

And so, even though I am tired and a little emotionally weary with everything that has happened of late, I am also super happy to have achieved some peace and clear direction about this decision.  It feels a little bittersweet to close this chapter in my life -- this role of "derby girl" which really became a part of my identity; and a huge part of my life.  But I am becoming more and more comfortable with this change and looking forward to the next chapter ahead.