Vacation by the Numbers

6 -- Roller coasters, which really?... involved very little actual "coasting", so what's up with that, people? False advertising is what's up with that. Seemed like a lot of jet-propulsion or warp-speed involved. Maybe that's just me, however.

1 -- Roller coaster that actually made me think I might die.

2 -- the amount of times I thought I might puke.

0 -- the amount of times I did puke.

3 -- the number of times I was asked if I wanted to buy weed at Venice Beach.

1 -- conversation with my kids about what weed is and why Mommy won't be buying any.

2 -- Jam skaters we watched skating in the bowl at Venice Beach.

5 -- packs of Orbit gum. Currently finishing up some Mint Mojito. Luvs it.

4 -- the number of ridiculously expensive, cruddy-tasting meals of questionable quality we had at various theme parks.

6 -- the number of mornings I wished I could grab a Tim's coffee cause the coffee in our hotel sucked rocks.

0 -- the number of Tim Horton's in the state of California.

1 -- excuse for sniffling and tearing throughout the Shamu show. Not sure whether it was the awesome size and majesty of the creatures and their willingness to interact with humankind; or the fact that they were captive in the equivalent of a paddling pool.

347 -- pictures taken.

5 -- breakdowns of a Kid nature; 2 of which made me ponder never taking children on another vacation, EVER. Word.

5 -- the approximate gallonage of ride-water that managed to find it's way to the Princess' and my particular area of the River Raft on Grizzly Mountain. Let me just say that a 4 km hike in water-logged shirt, jeans and panties did not make for a happy Mom. But I kept that all inside, trust that.

2 -- the number of Sea Bands that I ended up buying mid-trip as I wallowed with a ride hangover and children still ready to rumble on all sorts of pukealicious attractions. One for each wrist, baby.

2 -- IHOP pancakes of the Strawberry Cheesecake variety which made me vow everlasting loyalty to all carby breakfast foods.

1 -- stolen iPod from the Princess' bag, which had been stowed under the bed. Still trying to work that one out with the hotel.

4 -- connecting flights; subtotals? 1 ridiculously expensive chocolate bar, four packs of complimentary corn chips and approximately a five hour layover in no-man's land.

1 -- Airport Emergency Door alarm which the Kid set off by opening a door he shouldn't have.

5 -- minutes spent waiting for Airport personnel to arrive on the scene and disarm the (very loud and annoying) alarm while we waited like dutiful citizens who would very much like the ground to open up and swallow them.

1 -- boy who thought he may die or go to jail.

2 -- parents who possibly let him think that for just a moment before we let him off the hook.

For all this and more, I thank you, Disney Vacation. :)

Other things for which I'm thankful: Pilots who knew not to crash their planes -- always a good thing. Cherry Coke on tap! Hoo-ah! Live music on the streets. Screaming until my eyes watered. Collapsing in giggles with the Princess after the Jurassic Park ride. The Kid letting me hold his hand when we walked down the streets all week cause he was in someplace strange and needed a bit of comfort. Billy Hill and the Hillbillies -- great show that made me laugh and clap so hard. Getting to read THREE books just cause I had time in-flight. Belting out the Indiana Jones theme song with the Princess during our last Indy ride at Disney. Sitting OUTSIDE the Tower of Terror ride waiting for Mr. F and the kids to finish... cause OMG... I couldn't do that ride without puking, I'm certain. Swimming in the OUTDOOR pool knowing that temps are below freezing back at home.

And last but not least, coming home. :)