10:45 a.m. I check in at Member Services as per instructions to find out where to go for my orientation. Downstairs it is.
10:47 a.m. I take a seat in the common area, hoping to see one of the five management people I've met thus far.
10:49 a.m. I can't help but wonder if I'm in the right place.
10:53 a.m. No sign of management, no sign of a sign, even. Gah!
10:55 a.m. I really must not be in the right place. See people down the hall. Ask people if they would direct me to the orientation meeting. Down the hall and past the closed door, you say? Why thank you, kind people.
10:56 a.m. Mutter under my breath about incompetent directions and an almost tardy arrival to the orientation.
10:57 a.m. Walk in the door with a smile on my face that doesn't show how much I don't like wearing this collared shirt and my previous irritation with not knowing where to be for something that is rather important.
11:00 a.m. Commence orientation with soon-to-be coworkers; a very nice older woman and a cute (in a clean-cut adorable way) pre-med student.
11:15 a.m. Learn how to properly lift stuff by watching videos of numerous people lifting stuff in exaggerated motion.
11:28 a.m. Learn how to clean up spills of a nefarious nature: chemicals, acids, vomit and all other manner of yuck.
11:42 a.m. It's Freezing in here! I wonder if it would look weird if I put on my coat? I don't want to look like I want to leave or something. Brrrrrr.
11:55 a.m. Really, really cold.
12:08 p.m. Help me. My heartrate is slowing into hibernation mode. Suck it. I'm putting on my coat.
12:11 p.m. Much better.
12:30 p.m. Learn that schedules are posted in military time. Hoo-ah! Secretly hope I don't screw it up. Man, that's a gimormous schedule.
12:34 p.m. Ha ha! Pre-med student is funny!
1:00 p.m. My tummy is growling. I should've had breakfast and normally would have except that I was told that Costco was treating us to lunch and all I could think was "mmmmmmmmmm, Poutine." and do you know how many calories and fat is in Costco Poutine?? At least 5,031,990. Enough to finance the clogging of a minor artery. Enough that I shouldn't even be considering eating it at all. It should not be considered "food".
1:05 p.m. Funny and adorable Pre-Med student orders poutine. SOLD! I'll have mine with a diet Coke, thank you. Cause I'm sensible like that.
1:35 p.m. Get to use the bio-metric retina scanner to clock back in. Kidding. But that would be cool, wouldn't it? Instead, I got to scan a barcode.
1:38 p.m. More safety stuff. Look, we're watching ANOTHER video about how to lift stuff properly. WHMIS, MSDS, HAZCOM, ZZZZZZZ...
2:45 p.m. Huh? What happened? Where am I? ... Ha ha. I'm only kidding. I totally paid attention.
2:47 p.m. I've signed more forms and contracts than an ambassador at a Head of State meeting.
2:48 p.m. What exactly do ambassadors do, anyhow? Sounds like a cushy job... I wonder how one gets hooked up with a gig like that? Ambassador degree? Charm school?
2:49 p.m. Night merch guy has a very interesting beard thing going on. Intriguing.
3:00 p.m. Quick break. Check out schedules for this week and next. Six days in a row and forty hours. Not bad. Double check my military time. Don't screw this up, Flutter.
3:10 p.m. My manager; my entertaining, talky, cool manager takes the floor. Some rules and do's and dont's.
3:15 p.m. Harassment guidelines. Or rather, guidelines to avoid harassment.
3:23 p.m. More forms. For realsies. My signature is by now looking like a wavy line.
3:45 p.m. Glad we're almost done cause my butt is feeling a little square-ish from sitting so long.
3:48 p.m. I wonder if the key will work for the kiddos. Will they remember to go to the neighbors if it doesn't?
3:51 p.m. Man, what if they can't get in the house and the neighbor isn't home and... holy cow it's freezing outside. C'mon. This better end on time.
3:52 p.m. Get a grip. Everything will be fine.
4:00 p.m. OK, entertaining and wonderful manager. We are supposed to be done. I have kids ALONE IN THE HOUSE. OR HUDDLED ON THE PORCH IN -30 DEGREE WEATHER. Well, likely alone in the house, but still... Smile, Flutter. Stay engaged.
4:09 p.m. Please, please, please can we go? Oh, more forms. Sure. I'll scrawl, I mean SIGN those.
4:15 p.m. Done. Finally. Scanny thing again. Oh, how I wish it was a retina scanner.
4:20 p.m. Where the heck did I park and why is it so unbelievably cold out? Rocket better start. The kids! Check cell phone finally. No messages. Breathe easy, I'm sure they're inside and just fine.
4:30 p.m. Home. Kids are inside... not fighting. BONUS!!
4:38 p.m. Survey damage in the kitchen from the night before. Yes, the night before. Cause I had to go out after supper and run errands and did NOT feel like cleaning up afterwards. I am soooooo stupid. Stupid, stupid stupid. Where's a fairy godmother when you need one?
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And, now... with my kitchen clean and my blog taken care of, I just have to wait for Mr. F. to get home and take us out to celebrate my First Day at Costco. Good times.
12 comments:
Not too bad for your first day. I hope you enjoy your job, you know, as much as one CAN enjoy their job.
Don't suppose you have tomorrow afternoon off.. I was coming to town and hoped for a coffee.. I need to see the chiro.. and buy supplies to build the biggest Chanukkiah Saskatchewan has ever seen.. for my front yard.
Ok, now you've reminded me what working is really all about - the meetings. Don't know if I can handle that.
(I would have been worried about the kids getting in the house too.)
helhorks??
Therese -- Thanks!
Sombra -- unfortunately I am scheduled to work... that sucks. I can't wait to see your Hanukkiah. You better post pictures... what am i saying? I know you will!
Cocotte -- I was so insanely worried. I better get used to it, though. :(
Ok, I am exhausted just from reading that. Egads!! Why, oh why is it ALWAYS freezing at orientation meetings?? I thought Costco let you wear what you wanted??? SOooooo what kind of discount do you get???
btw, I had to google 'poutine' to remember what it was.
JodyJ -- There's not really a dress code except for some sort of collared shirt. And I either look like a librarian (blouse) or a boy (polo) in a collared shirt. meh. And, no discount in sight. A free membership, but no discount.
Cocotte -- I know, it sounds horrible but is really a little piece of heaven. Basically fries with cheese curds and gravy. Mmmmmm. The only way to fit more fat in a dish would be to eat butter straight from a bowl.
Happy that you made it through, now let the real work begin!!!
Xavier -- thanks!
I didn't know what poutine was either. And that sounds like absolutely the BEST DAY EVER. Who doesn't love orientation? I'm reminded of the movie "Waiting" just a tiny bit, except you aren't actually a waitress.
Your Twitter widget gives a pop-up that asks for a password when I load your page. Are you just trying to get back at me for my Javascript pop-ups?
Wow. Sorry I'm so slow getting around here. . .
I love those orientation days, and all the 'training' - the hazmat stuff, the sexual harrassment stuff (my boss felt compelled to remind me that "It's not a how-to course on improving your technique"). Good, good times.
And of course Molly, since she's applying for jobs working with kids, has to have an FBI background check, to make sure she's not a perv. . .
FTN -- Thanks for letting me know about the Twitter widget. I'll try to find a better one. One that actually works.
Desmond -- Of course Molly will pass with flying colors. :) I always can't help but feel inexplicably nervous filling out those sorts of forms... wondering if the existance of an evil doppelganger will come to light or other weirdness.
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