5.03.2009

My daughter, the Jedi.

I am just gonna come right out and say this.

There are good reasons why this household does not have pets.* Really, really good reasons. Reasons which are reasonable and make a whole lot of sense.

1.) Mr. F. has some crazy allergies to most furry creatures. And generally dislikes the furry creatures he is not allergic to.

2.) We're really not home that much to properly care/train/love/attend to the needs of a living creature which needs large amounts of time devoted to caring/training/loving/attending.

3.) We travel often. Which would generally mean mucho kenneling expenses and very sad furbabies when we are gone.

4.) Let's face it, the grommets are not of the most responsible ilk. On the compass of life, their true north aims more towards the free-wheeling, charming AVOIDANCE of responsibility. And yes, I do what I can to fight it all the way, but seriously? Adding one more battle to the agenda is not high on my list. And frankly, I need things added to MY chore list like I need a roundhouse kick to the head.

5.) We have a bad history with pets. Like the kittens that had to be re-homed once Mr. F. discovered that with the onset of his asthma he also became the unlucky recipient of furry-thing allergies. Or the boxer that we dog-sat in hopes that perhaps we would become it's new family despite Mr. F's dislike of dogs. Or the SIX goldfish that got flushed one after the other despite herculean efforts to save them, resulting in one abandoned fish tank and involuntary shudders from the Princess at the mere mention of "goldfish". (Seriously, it was really that traumatic. I will never allow another goldfish in my house, ever.) Or the incredibly sad encounter with the world's best and most beautiful puppy that I will ever know and not get to love.

See? Lots and lots of really, really good reasons why we do not have pets.

So why can I look over my shoulder and see a Habitrail OVO hamster habitat and hear the rummaging of little rodent feet?

"Why is that?" you ask? Let me tell you. I have no idea why. No. Idea.

Somewhere between the pleading eyes of my offspring and their wheedling voices and shared YouTube videos demonstrating the adorable features of hamsterdom (Curse you, YouTube, and your broccoli-nibbling hamsters!), I caved. I allowed a thought, a mere wisp of favorable consideration enter my mind and the rest was accomplished through pure sorcery and Jedi mind trickery, I assure you. Clearly, I have underestimated the Princess' unity with the Force.

And thus, Hammy has come to live with us. And I have to admit that he's a cute little crapper, with his rusty, fluffy fur and perky round ears and shiny black eyes and sniffy little nose... and fracking sharp teeth. Yes, I have encountered the teeth. (Hammy almost "encountered" the wall.) But we're OK now, Hammy and me. I fed him some cucumber and he's figured out that my finger is not food and that I will not kill, maim or otherwise harm him. In fact, I think he maybe even likes me a bit. At least, he seems to be sending out the "You're pretty cool, Flutterby-chick." vibe. Not that I speak fluent hamster or anything.

So, for the next few years, Hammy's gonna be hanging out with us.

Any bets on who will be cleaning out his habitat??


* Drippy the Bettafish doesn't exactly count as a pet. The little dude thrives on neglect. He's spent the past two years chillin' in his puddle of fishy filth. I don't know who feeds him. I don't. I do clean his tank every month (or so) and he thanks me by making nice little bubble nests. He is a happy, happy fish.

6 comments:

Bijoux said...

Thank you for adding to the guilt trip that is "mom won't let us have any pets besides fish" at this house.

Desmond Jones said...

Your hamster is named 'Hammy'???

Our pet-history is pretty similar to yours, from the sounds of it. Somewhere between my allergies to pet dander, especially that of dogs, and my intense, innate hatred of all things feline, we've never managed to get very far with the whole pet thing. We had a hermit crab (named. . . wait for it. . . 'Hermie'), whose dessicated carcass we discovered behind the fridge when we moved. And two dogs who separated from the family in various unhappy ways (maybe I should blog about it sometime). And a third dog (hypoallergenic, he must've been) with whom I got along just fine, but alas, the kids lost interest in feeding him, and taking him for walks (or in cleaning up the basement messes that resulted from failing to take him for walks. So he went to live with Molly's mom, and we see him every few months. . .

WordVer = 'brablear'' and I think I should studiously avoid making any further comment on that. . .

JodyJ said...

I don't know whether to congratulate you on a pet that suits your family OR shake you because once my boys see Hammy you know they are gonna want one.
No offense but to me hamsters are a rat that has gotten a break from society. Blah.... anyway could you shove him in a closet when we come down?? :O)

Anonymous said...

Ah, my dear, but you are clearly stronger and more resolute than Queenie. We've killed birds and fish and rabbits over the years, even one dog. The inventory at the moment stands at one each, dog/cat.

The little crappers good for making fertilizer though, keep that in mind ....

'heaph'

flutterby said...

Cocotte -- guilt trip? What's that? Oh, like that thing where I saw all the cute little veggies your daughter was tending in little planters in your living room?... :D Sorry bout that! Hey, fish are cool pets, too. They're pretty and they swim way better than hamsters do. lol

Desmond -- Your "Hermie" story cracked me up! (btw, his name's not actually Hammy... this IS an anonymous blog, if you'll recall! The kids gave him a much more wussy name that I refuse to acknowledge.)

JodyJ -- No one puts Hammy in a corner! (tee hee) If it makes you feel any better, it's likely that Hammy will bite the boys' fingers and they'll be suitably turned off.

Xavier -- fertilizer, huh? I can only imagine the drama that will unleash itself in waves of tears and wails of anguish when Hammy finally kicks it. :(

JodyJ said...

Jay had hamsters growing up, one night they came home and the hamsters were eating eachother... BLAH!!!!!!!!!!!