Went back to get my piercing changed out to a smaller piece of jewelry today. Some highlights.
Oh hai. I forgot how cute you were, Mr. Piercer. Sure, I will lay down right here for you. Sure, I will open my mouth.
(geez... this sounds bad.) Moving on.
Old piercing is removed and I don't feel a thing, which is awesome. So awesome. Cause I was honestly a little bit worried about how it would feel. I feel I can admit this to you all, seeing how I've come clean about my Giant Inner Wuss. Big silent sigh of relief. It would have been an actual sigh, but his hands are now messing with my lip and...
HOLY SHITE!!! SWEETMOTHERFRAKKER!!!!!
I was not prepared for that. See, the post starts out nicely in this freshly made little hole, but halfway through, it needs help finding the other side. Apparently, Mr. Piercer is not a proponent of the Steady, Gentle and Slow method of stud placement. It appears he's rather fond of the SMUSH THE RAW FLESH OVER THE STUD UNTIL IT CRAMS IT'S WAY THROUGH method. Which is fine -- Really. I don't mind. Sure, it only hurt as badly as getting it pierced in the first place. And we all know I handled THAT experience so well.
Yes, the pain was surprising. I was not super happy with this guy. The thought crosses my mind that he's not even that good looking in the first place. Really. I don't know what I was thinking. The moment of surprise passes and I do a quick mental inventory. Consciousness seems to be in hand for the moment. Yay, me. Then Mr. Piercer turns to pick up the ball end, releasing the stud and ...
It freakin falls into my mouth. He's all "oh whoopsie, there, lil camper. You'll just have to spit that out for me" and all I can think is that if I survive fishing this thing out of my throat and the whole Smush Placement Experience again, I hope to never see this guy again.
I can say with some veracity that it was not any nicer to experience the second time around. The air around my brain might have been silently blue. Just sayin. This time, however, he clamps the little end that is sticking out so that it doesn't pop out when he releases it. Thank you kindly, dude. Ball end is screwed on tightly and the deed is done.
I get to check it out in the mirror, only to see that my lip looks like a teeny little crime scene, complete with blood spatter patterns worthy of a CSI investigation. The good news is that I now am sporting a 1/4" 16 gauge piece, rather than the 5/8" one that made me look like Frankenstein's bride. The bad news is that it's still a plain old steel ball -- no pretty ones for me until the piercing heals totally through and has no trace of swelling.
The really good news? I totally didn't get even a bit shocky... My Wuss Rehabilitation is starting out on some good footing.
4 comments:
I'm disturbed by this whole visual, but can I just say the "whoopsie, lil camper" part had me laughing out loud!
"Ye olde......" My kids never enjoy it when I say that half as much as I enjoy saying it.
I wanna have sympathy for you here, I really do. . .
oopsie ... :)
So, like, where are the pics? I mean, what good would it be to have that great story and no corroborating evidence??
Bijoux -- I'm glad at least one of us can laugh about it. I'm still a little indignant. :)
Craig -- I know, I know.
Xavier -- I didn't even think to take any pics. The blood spatters were wee tiny ones, anyway. Nothing spectacular. Just peculiar... I remember thinking that it looked like a miniscule version of something you'd see on CSI.
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