The last couple weeks have been rather insane with commitments and meetings and errands and just about any other time-waster/filler/drainer you can imagine.
Thankfully, my stints of service on various committees and my league board came to a beautiful, if somewhat screeching end this past weekend as our AGM marked the switch of terms, as well as what I am intending to be my derby retirement.
It's true that over the past months that I've contemplated retirement that I have had a number of moments of misgivings and second thoughts as well as a gut-deep craving for this stupid sport to yet be a part of my life. But the fact is that it is time for me to put it behind me and embrace a new focus in my life. I'm not sure exactly what that will look like, but I can see now how being so wrapped up this interest/commitment/passion of mine wasn't being true to my Source. My ego loved it, and my selfish nature flourished. But my heart was not being fed, I can see that now.
It was timely that in these past weeks some events happened that I felt really shed some light on how transient and fleeting some of my connections are in this league that I have given so much to in the last years. Some perspective, if you will.
And even more timely that this weekend unleashed a bit of an emotional crisis for my Princess with the demise of an important long-term relationship for her. She is well and truly heart-broken and very much in need of some time and nurturing to get her back on her feet, feeling whole again. It's really quite easy to see where my priorities should lie.
And so, even though I am tired and a little emotionally weary with everything that has happened of late, I am also super happy to have achieved some peace and clear direction about this decision. It feels a little bittersweet to close this chapter in my life -- this role of "derby girl" which really became a part of my identity; and a huge part of my life. But I am becoming more and more comfortable with this change and looking forward to the next chapter ahead.
4 comments:
Sometimes, all good things really must come to an end. Sorry to hear about the princess.
"To everything there is a season, and a time for every purpose under Heaven. . ."
Or, as some of us would have it, "La-la, how the life goes on. . ."
always tough to give up something you love, often also giving up some folks you love .... cause they may just keep going on ... been there.
Thanks, guys.
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