Today I sat in church and as the service closed, the band played an older song. One that I remember from years ago. I've sung it many times over the years and not thought much of it, but today something was different.
Today I could almost reach back in time and become that girl who sang. Remember the feeling of that church sanctuary where our youth group met; the smell of old carpet and wood, the acoustics, the close summertime air. It was a neat little moment, a window in time if you will. I enjoyed it for what it was, but was left saddened in some ways.
I am so different from that girl. She sat there years ago, cloistered and protected; trusting and open to receive. She didn't question. It was so simple and it all made sense so much as life had brought her way.
And I felt like crying. I am tired of the questions and the only certainty I feel I have is that nothing will be simple again.
I can live with that, but I looked over at the sweet girl beside me, and thought of my boy across the way in his Kid's Club, and I hoped that somehow they will be allowed a measure of simplicity. And I feel a little bit afraid that my questions, my husband's questions... have stripped that from them.
Our God is an Awesome God,
He Reigns In Heaven Above
With Wisdom, Power and Love,
Our God is an Awesome God.
I hope that can be enough.
5 comments:
Music certainly moves me in much the same way.
Are you refering to questions about faith? You are in good company:) I'm in a New Testament group and I end up having more questions than answers every week.
Well, you know, the world we live in is never as simple as we wish it were; there are hard questions that inevitably take us past the 'black-and-white'.
But I think your song gets right to the bottom line, and most appropriately so. . . And of course you know that one of the Names of God, from the Bible, translates to 'God Who is More than Enough'. . .
“Blessed are they which are persecuted for righteousness' sake: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.” Matthew 5:10
These are my thoughts, so take them for what their worth.
I liken it to falling in love. The first stages are the best, there is romance, wooing, butterflies. You don't really question you just drink in the relationship and jump in with both feet.
Later is when love gets tested, you start to question, you see things come up that you are uncertain of and you need to investigate, you need those questions answered. It's the first stage that draws you to someone and it's the testing stage that makes you stay if you can weather the storms.
Maybe regardless of what you believe that questioning season would come. But God is the same yesterday, today and always. I have to remind myself that the basics of our faith is what holds me to Him even during the questioning time.
Simple is good -- "faith like a child" and all that. But at the same time, God is plenty big enough for your questions. Don't hesitate to question and do all manner of "seeking."
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