Or something like that.
After suffering through a week of temperatures hovering around -30C (plus windchill, of course... this is Saskatchewan, people) whilst wearing her nine-year-old boarding jacket which had long past lost all it's high-tech loft in repeated washings, a certain Flutterby decides that enough is enough. And gathering her chilly self in her freezing car, she sets out for Army Surplus sites unknown.
For there, she has heard, is the Mother of all Warm Winter Coats. A coat so warm and awesome, it was designed to keep bodies warm during Arctic military expeditions.
Searching for the coat in the midst of other, equally bad-ass looking coats, Flutterby quickly spots the MWWC. It is large and techy looking with gnarly zippers and pockets and enough fur on the hood to cover a large cat. One look at the succinct, no-nonsense military label tells her that this is a "Parka: Extreme Cold Weather". It is surprisingly light and she hefts it over her shoulders and proceeds to struggle with the double ended zipper (What is this? Kindergarten again?? Please.) and arrange the extra large, furry hood over her head.
It is indeed, the winter coat to end all coats. Her search has ended.
If only she didn't look like a large marshmallow in it. *sigh* A TOASTY, WARM large marshmallow, though.
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It is true that I have entirely lost all pretense of being fashionable in this parka. It is huge. Too big for me, really... but they are sized for buff army dudes and not average housewives. Size small was as little as they came and I still swim in it. I probably look rather like the Michelin Man -- all puffy and shapeless and if Stacy and Clinton got a hold of me in it, I'm sure they'd give me an earful.
But seriously, I am so over FREEZING in the wintertime. And if we are indeed going to finish out our lives here in this nasty part of the winter-world, I've decided that I will at least not wish I was dead when the deep freeze hits.
-35... I'm waiting for you. Bring it.
3 comments:
I forgot to publish this post a couple days ago. A couple days ago it was -35C (close to -50C with windchill).
Today, however, we were blessed with -7C. The parka hung on it's hook and I wore a hoodie. Cause after a week of insane cold, -7C feels like summertime!
Wow, you get -35C and it's only December!?! What do you get in January/February?
I mean, I live in Michigan, which is the Frozen North as far as most of the US is concerned, and I think I've experienced -35C maybe twice in my life. . .
I also have an oversized parka similar to yours. I wear it to snowblow the driveway/sidewalks. It smells terrible because of that (we have a gas blower), but it really does keep me warm. Comfort over fashion!
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