180 seconds.

From the day my Princess was born, everyone who met her and saw her little face said "she looks just like her daddy". Which is lovely and scary all at once. Lovely, because, "AWWWWW... what a sweet thing to say" and Scary because Mr. F. would not make an attractive female. Just sayin.

It is with relief I can say that she has not grown to be a hairy, large, Viking-esque young woman. *whew* (Not that I wish to insult hairy, large, Viking-esque women. Not at all. You go girl. *eeep*) What people were referring to was many of the Nordic traits she inherited from that side of the family. Broad cheeks, sloped nose, small mouth... things which look lovely and feminine on her, thankfully. **Picture removed because I was alerted that some creepy person found this post by searching "women with small mouths". Fricken creep.** Things which also make her look "not like me".



And so, I guess as she has grown -- while I've always seen her as MINE -- I rarely see parts of "me" in her. To be certain, from time to time, someone will comment that she looks like me or reminds them of me. But if I'm honest, it's not something I've ever seen for myself and I find myself saying in disbelief, "really!?".

Which is why I was surprised -- shocked, even -- a few weeks ago.

The Princess and her girlfriends will often make entertaining little video shorts. I'm sure they have dreams of youtube stardom except that some grouchy Mum won't let them post videos online. Stupid grouchy mum.

This particular video was actually pretty hilarious and starred the Princess as a stereotype. She was wearing a short wig and acting her part rather flawlessly, complete with accent -- this kid has pretty terrific comedic timing (sigh, likely something else from her father). But while my outer self was busy laughing and enjoying the show, my inner self was staring slack-jawed at the little playback screen.

It was like watching myself.

So many little mannerisms and facial expressions. Her eyes. Even her voice and speech.

Holy sh!#.

I found myself actually holding back tears while looking back and forth from this screen to her face... crazy stuff, this. I had never, ever seen this before. Had never realized how deeply this would touch me.

A very profound 3 minutes, my friends. 3 minutes that I am super thankful for.

The New Adventures of Flutterby.

Couch.
To.
5K.

It's happening. I haven't died yet.

Race day is in one month and I'm actually going to do this. I have a team depending on me to participate and there's no turning back.

I totally know that for most people (or many/some/lots... whatever) 5K isn't exactly considered a benchmark run. I know plenty of people who run that distance whilst buffing their nails or doing their taxes or knitting scarves... and they don't even break a sweat. 5K is these people's WARM-UP.

Not me.

But maybe... someday... me.

I will keep y'all posted.

Why, hello, Procrastination. Pleased to Meet You.

There are less than 48 hours until we leave for vacation. Flights leave at 5am which means I am going to have to be uber-organized to get us ready and packed by Tuesday evening.

I have 5 skate builds to complete. Client appts and a couple orders to fill and ship.

Stuff to buy and pack. A few groceries to get if we are going to be able to actually eat real food in the next 48 hours. Laundry. Appts for myself (chiro, sugaring). A sponsorship meeting with my derby league, a dog to re-home and get settled in with my friend for the upcoming week AND a Tuesday evening practice at which I promised to show up early to in order to give a friend a hand. Not to mention two days of schooling to do with my Kid.

I'm hooped.

Which is why, in classic Flutterby fashion, I am posting to my blog.

It makes perfect sense.

*******************************
So long and farewell for a little while. Will be back with vacation stories to tell!

Cause You Had a Bad Hair Day...

(Go back and hum that title to the tune of the song, "Bad Day"... trust me, it's way more fun than just saying it.)

See?

That's my blog... spreading the choral sunshine around. :D You're welcome.

Now let me start with my sad, sad story. Brace yourselves. It's a teary one.

Once upon a time there was a Flutterby. Her tresses were stressed. Sassy and short and bleached to within an inch of their itty-bitty lives -- it was time for a change. And while it is true that Flutterby is prone to making decisions about her hair without thinking things through, and, while it is true as well that Flutterby has repeatedly attempted to grow her hair longer and endured months of agonizing "in-between" hair ONLY to chop it all off in a fit of PMS/boredom/frustration/insertreasonhere AND... while it is also true that Flutterby has not worn a consistent hairstyle for more than 3 months at a time; Flutterby resolved that THIS TIME would be DIFFERENT.

*sigh*

This certain Flutterby decided to grow her hair long. Like, LONG, long. Pictures were Pinterested on Pinterest boards. Whole wardrobes were planned around all the wonderful, creative and fun styles that could be created with said amazing LONG hair.

But woe is Flutterby. Her short style was hiding the fact that her hair is wavy. And wavy mid-length hair is decidedly not the "look" for Flutterby. So, every morning Flutterby's hair enjoys a 300 degree hot iron stroking it into shape. Straight shape. And... every month, Flutterby's stylist trims off the dry ends from this repeated abuse. An amount which apparently negates most of the new hair growth during that same time.

Flutterby wants to scream.

And not surprisingly, also chop her hair off again.

Flutterby is clinging to the merest strands of hope. New product has been bought. Keratin proteins and no sulfates... all which whisper the sweet promise of non-heat straightened hair. Flutterby does not ask for much... really. 4 inches will do. *snicker* Just enough to allow her to work with this waviness and wear long hair for at least a few months. Cause we all know she will eventually chop it off. She's kinda crazy like that.

Interview with a Flutterby

1. When you looked at yourself in the mirror today, what was the first thing you thought?
Every day is a bad hair day when you are growing your length out.

2. How much cash do you have on you?
About $17 or so.

3. What’s a word that rhymes with DOOR?
Is saying "adore" cheating? Cause it kinda already has the homonym for "door" in it. Which may not technically be a rhyme. *puzzled look*

4. Favorite planet?
While I'm rather fond of Earth for it's ease of survival and fun-loving inhabitants; nothing makes me giggle like saying the name "Uranus".

5. Who is the 4th person on your missed call list on your cell phone?
Client call.

6. What is your favorite ring tone on your phone?
Some techno jam from "2Fast 2Furious".

7. What shirt are you wearing?
black Roxy tee

8. Do you label yourself?
Maybe. Roller Derby has been a pretty defining involvement. If I would use any label it would be "derby girl", I guess.

9. Name the brand of the shoes you’re currently wearing?
MIA -- a value village find; ratty old converse-style sneaks that fit like my feet were born in them.

10. Bright or Dark Room?
Depends on what mood I'm in. Or what I'm doing. ;)

11. What do you think about the person who took this survey before you?
Not sure...

12. What does your watch look like?
I don't wear one.

13. What were you doing at midnight last night?
zzzzzzzzzzz.

14. What did your last text message you received on your cell say?
"Hahaha! I love it!"

15. Where is your nearest 7-11?
About a 20 minute walk; 2 min drive.

16. What's a word that you say a lot?
"Really?" It applies to so many situations.

17. Who told you he/she loved you last?
The Kid.

18. Last furry thing you touched?
The Terd.

19. How many drugs have you done in the last three days?
Advil Cold and Sinus.

20. How many rolls of film do you need developed?
Who uses rolls of film anymore?

21. Favorite age you have been so far?
Not sure how to answer.

22. Your worst enemy?
Procrastination.

23. What is your current desktop picture?
Skelanimals Kitty Cat

24. What was the last thing you said to someone?
"Probably Atom"

25. If you had to choose between a million bucks or to be able to fly what would it be?
A million bucks. I'm a little scared of heights.

26. Do you like someone?
I like a whole bunch of Peoples. Peoples are great.

27. The last song you listened to?
An old "Demon Hunter" metalcore CD that was playing in my car.

28. What time of day were you born?
Afternoon -- I think it was around 3ish. I tried really hard not to be late. ;)

29. What’s your favorite number?
I like doubles. Like 11 or 22, etc.

30. Where did you live in 1987?
North Battleford, SK

31. Are you jealous of anyone?
I suppose so.

32. Is anyone jealous of you?
It is entirely possible, although highly improbable!

33. Where were you when 9/11 happened?
At home.

34. What do you do when vending machines steal your money?
Stare in disbelief and press the button a few more times. I probably also check the coin return.

35. Do you consider yourself kind?
I'd like to think so.

36. If you had to get a tattoo, where would it be?
Below/beside hipbones. And I have to admit to liking the "tramp stamp" location, too.

37. If you could be fluent in any other language, what would it be?
Hebrew or Mandarin.

38. Would you move for the person you loved?
Yes.

39. Are you touchy feely?
Depends on who's touching/feeling me. lol

40. What’s your life motto?
Keep swinging.

41. Name three things that you have on you at all times?
If I have my purse with me, then for sure these are in it: iPhone, lip gloss, gum

42. What’s your favorite town/city?
I'm really not very well-traveled. I've always thought I would really love visiting Denver, Colorado.

43. What was the last thing you paid for with cash?
Salad for me, hotdog for the Kid at the Costco lunch counter.

44. When was the last time you wrote a letter to someone on paper and mailed it?
Does a greeting card count? Last week.

45. Can you change the oil on a car?
*blush* nope.

46. Your first love: what is the last thing you heard about him/her?
He was adopting children.

47. How far back do you know about your ancestry?
Tracked back to some scandalous combination of 1700s Russian aristocracy and Irish/German poverty on my Dad's side. Know very little about my Mom's side.

48. The last time you dressed fancy, what did you wear and why did you dress fancy?
Two years ago at our derby year-end party I wore a cute dark grey drapey shirt dress and some killer 6 inch leopard print and leather heels. Man, I need to get out more.

49. Does anything hurt on your body right now?
Nope. Spring allergies are well-medicated today!

50. Have you been burned by love?
Only in the best ways.

A Little Self-Defense Saga -- How Flutterby Became the Paranoid Freak That She Is

I have lived very few places in my life. I grew up in a small-ish city (16,000 people -- we'll call it Fluttertown for now) and, while we moved around a lot within that city, I have never known Big City life such as is made famous in movies and TV and newspaper obituaries. ;) Even now, my current city of residence of 250,000 -- while seeming "big" to me -- is but a dot on the map compared to some of the metro areas of Canada and the U.S.

Nevertheless my small hometown was not left untouched by the stupider aspects of the criminal element and there were definitely places that you didn't want to work, walk or otherwise hang out in after dark. And some neighborhoods were known for being a little on the rough side.

Newly married, Mr.F and I bought a house (for a paltry sum that makes me LAUGH OUT LOUD when I think of it, now!! People spend more on an average compact car!) close to one of those rougher ends of town. It served us well: despite being woken one night by the sound of a shotgun discharging in the house next door, the various and sundry ne'er-do-wells drunkenly chatting us up as we worked in the yard when they walked by (or coming to our door and expecting to be let in to what they mistakenly thought was THEIR house!), and a small number of times having to chase some rotten pukes off our property who were scouting for an easy in. During the day it was a decent neighborhood, safe enough, really. But, by the time we brought the Baby Princess home... well, having a wee one in your care like that all of a sudden raises the bar on what you consider "safe".

Mr. F started working at night, moonlighting driving pizza while I took a contract working at home so I could be with Baby. We started saving our pennies, and along with a good turn in the real estate market, were able to buy a bit nicer home in a bit nicer area a few years down the road. Good thing, too, as one little Kid was on the way. We hastily found a house in the middle of winter and I had the dubious pleasure of packing and unpacking a household while 7 months along With Child. Good times.

The Kid was born and I took a leave from my job. I also took that time to go slightly bat-sh$t crazy with PostPartemDepression. Mr. F was still working ridiculous hours; we now had this new house he had to pay for after all. And it was probably really nice to get away from your crying wife and colicky baby, for that matter! :) I would've worked a lot, too, if I was in his shoes! lol

Concurrent to all of this action of the past months, there had been a growing tension in Fluttertown. Without getting into tedious detail, there were three outside gangs from the reserves in the surrounding area which were bringing their "turf wars" to the town. It was recruiting season and there were a few "ins" which involved either raping a white girl, knifing a white man or shooting a cop. Sorry if that's disturbing to read, but it's how it was.

There were a number of reports that spring of stabbings (thankfully mostly more-or-less superficial or at least non-life-threatening) and sadly, women and girls were targeted as well. I don't believe there were any actual attempts on an officer -- or at least none that were reported publicly.

And, during this time it became apparent that our "nice neighborhood" wasn't exactly what we thought. More specifically, as the snow thawed and people started being more sociable (really, that's how it happens round this part of Canada! The snow thaws and we come out of hibernation.)... we started seeing a lot of gang colors entering and exiting our neighbors home. The drunken partying found it's way to our side door many times -- and most times I was home alone in the evening with the children while some belligerent drunken fool yelled scarily at the door and tried to look in my windows. There were fights and just general discord and awfulness at any given time during the day and/or night -- all right next door. I would get up to nurse my baby in the night and there were times I would have panic attacks while listening to the mess going on outside, worried that it would end up at the window or door again.

And then, one night while working his (un)glamourous night job, Mr. F was accosted outside an apartment complex. A few metres from his car, two punks ran up behind him and cracked him with a skateboard. A blow that had been meant for his head met with his elbow thanks to some quick reflexes. They pulled a knife and he offered money. They wanted blood -- clearly a gang thing -- and he knew it was On.

I am thankful that Mr.F is the kind of guy who can handle himself. But I admit that it took me some time to understand the things that he did that night in order to defend himself. Never having faced that kind of danger, I was still thinking like most sheeple (I mean, PEOPLE)... "why didn't you just subdue your attackers and wait for the authorities to arrive?". Instead of that neat and tidy utopian scenario, I was facing the fact that my husband had been stabbed and that he left two men near dead in the process of defending himself.

I wasn't sure which part bothered me more.

In the weeks that followed, I became more and more worried. Three weeks after the attack, two very broken and casted men came into the pizza place where Mr. F. was working that night, gave him a nod -- and my worry became full-on paranoia. Fluttertown is a small town and if they wanted retribution, the kids and I were sitting targets five nights a week. And of course I was concerned that Mr. F would be easy to trail and find in all manner of isolated situations (delivery to outset rural parts wasn't uncommon if a call came in that warranted it).

I began to read everything I could about Self-Defense and criminal mindset. My mind was opened in the harshest of ways to all the chaotic opportunity that lends itself to senseless crime and the insidious ways that premeditated violence against individuals is often aided and abetted by the victims themselves as they comply with directives that only isolate and leave them further at the mercy of their attacker. Truly, embarking on that sort of reading and learning may not have done my fragile state of mind any good. But I am really grateful that I did gain a greater understanding.

Shortly thereafter, we decided to move. I would be lying if I said it had nothing to do with all that had gone on. It did, in part.

Now, almost 9 years later, it's been a long time since I lived with my brain on Red Alert 24/7. I don't scope out every venue for primary and secondary egress (no kidding, this kid did that.) or practice peripheral scanning in WalMart. (good lord, I was troubled!) I can laugh about it, now. Nevertheless there is a lot that I've taken away from that time -- things that were reinforced during my training in Krav.

And there are conversations that Mr. F and I have had that I'm very glad we did. Like the chance to discuss hostage scenarios and our plan to handle the kids should we ever find ourselves in a sketchy situation (ie: being accosted on the street). These things seem dramatic -- and it was HARD to talk about because who wants to contemplate the possibility of violence happening to your family, right? But, I think it's a mistake to not talk about it. Case study after case study of in-home violence shows that complying to a hostage directive (ie: wife is held a knifepoint while the husband is directed to submit to restraints or his wife "gets it" only results in the husband getting the distinct privilege of watching his whole family perish before his eyes, before the mercy of death comes to him) Sorry, it's harsh and it's ghastly... but it's the truth. And because we've talked about it, Mr. F knows that he knows that I would rather bleed out on the floor while he takes the chance to bolt/fight, etc. and rescue the kids to safety rather than the alternative. (In fact, I would kick his ass myself in the hereafter should he do anything else!) And he feels the same. There is no more question about what is expected. The kids always come first.

I realize that the chance of this type of horrific violence touching our home is very slim. I am eternally grateful for that. But, having had a number of brushes with the Chaos Factor, I will never again live in ignorance that I am safe everywhere I go or that our home is safe no matter what.

In my mind, self-defense is so much more about a mindset than any particular type of training. (although I highly, HIGHLY recommend Krav as a way to encourage and develop a great mindset for self-defense) It's a mindset that says that things happen to you on your terms. Someone pulls a weapon on me and demands I get in a vehicle? Eff that all to hell. I'd rather face mortality there on that sidewalk than get in that vehicle and allow my attacker to isolate me and give himself the distance and privacy needed for whatever sickness is in his mind. This girl's body parts will never be found at a secondary scene. I make that choice.

Giving yourself choices; whether through knowledge, skill, training, communication... that is power. And it's something I wish more people gave due diligence to. There might be fewer horror stories in the news if they did.

A-Z also known as TMI)

A
- Available: Nope.
- Age: 33
- Annoyance: commercials
- Animal: in theory, there is nothing cuter than a hamster.
- Actor: Mark Wahlberg
- Adidas / Nike: Adidas

B
- Birthday/Birthplace: November 11, North Battleford, SK
- Best Friends: I am lucky to have a few people I treasure.
- Body Part on opposite sex: ummmmm... that spot where hipbone meets waistband. Me likey.
- Best feeling in the world: playing Tickle Monster with my kiddos or nephews/nieces.
- Best weather: I love a rainy afternoon. But mostly sunny works for me.
- Been in Love: Yes.
- Been bitched out?: Also, yes.
- Been on stage?: Lots, actually.
- Been beaten up?: Not any Real violence; but I have taken a few at Krav.
- Believe in yourself?: I'm trying!
- Believe in life on other planets: hmmmmm... I guess it's possible.

C
- Favorite candy: is chocolate considered candy? if not, then Jelly Belly beans.
- Color: aqua like the ocean.
- Cried in school: probably.
- Chocolate/Vanilla: vanilla
- Chinese/Mexican: Chinese
- Cake or pie: neither are my favorite, but I'll go with Pie
- Country to visit: Would love to go to Israel.

D
- Day or Night: I'm a night owl.
- Dance: Yeah, baby!!!
- Dance in the rain? Sure, why not?
- Do the splits?: It kills me just to think about it.

E
- Eyes: blue
- Everyone has: a bad habit
- Ever failed a class?: I don't think so.

F
- First crush: new kid in class. short-lived.
- First thoughts waking up: "already?" "how quick can I get ready? Snooze button?"
- Food: fresh strawberries
- Feel Sexy?: depends

G
- Greatest Fear: outliving my children.
- Giver or taker: Giver? I think?
- Gum: probably cinnamon gum.
- Get along with your parents?: Yeah, they're great.

In guys/girls
Eye colour: whatever color
Hair: Kinda like that whole shaved head w/ wicked facial hair thing.
Clothing Style: urban, a little bit Rebel.


H
- Hair Colour: light brown naturally, currently various shades of blonde and brown.
- Height: 5'5
- Happy: Most of the time! :)
- Holiday: Someplace beachy and tropical, please.
- Hate: being cold. brrrrr.

I
- Ice Cream: DQ soft serve.
- Instrument: piano.

J
- Jewelry: Don't often wear it.
- Job: I like mine.

K
- Kids: supercool
- Kickboxing or karate: kickboxing.
- Keep a journal?: does blogging count?

L
- Longest Car Ride: North Battleford, SK to Jasper, AB
- Love: My family
- Laughed so hard you cried: Yes, and snotted and peed and snorted as well. Not all at once, though. That would be unfortunate.
- Love at first sight: Sure, why not?

LAST PERSON WHO..
1. Slept in a bed beside you: Mr. F.
2. Saw you cry? Don't know. maybe Mr. F.
3. Went to the movies with you? my husband and kiddos
4. You went to the mall with? my bestie, J
5. You went to dinner with? my husband and kiddos
6. You talked to on the phone? derby girl, D
7. Made you laugh? D Ablo and Anna Filatic (derby girls)
8. Person you hung out with? girlfriends, J and A


M
- Milk flavor: white milk 1%
- Movie: I love (thoughtful) comedies. Not sophomoric, crass ones, though.
- Marriage?: yes!
- Motion sickness?: sometimes. urrrghh.
- McDs or BK: can I say A&W? BK is gross and McDs usually makes my tummy sick.

N
- Number of Siblings: one brother
- Number of Piercings: 3

O
- Overused Phrases: I say "dude" and at my age that just isn't cool.
- One wish: Really?
- One phobia: Moths. *shiver* They freak me out.

P
- Place you'd like to live: acreage or farm with dogs and horses.
- Perfect Pizza: pesto, spinach, red pepper, red onion, mushroom and feta.
- Pepsi/Coke: either

Q
- Quail: Never had it.

R
- Reason to cry: life sucks.
- Reality T.V.: So You Think You Can Dance
- Radio Station: can't stand radio -- I hate commercials.
- Roll your tongue: not sure. Lemme try. Yup.

S
- Song: There's no way I can pick just ONE!!
- Salad Dressing: maple balsamic
- Sushi: veggie only. Don't really like it.
- Scent: GoodSmellingGuy scent.
- Skipped school: Yes. Not much, though.
- Slept outside: Like tenting? Yes. Like on a park bench? No.
- Seen a dead body?: yes

- Smoked?: No
- Shower Daily?: twice daily -- sometimes three times. Ridiculous, I know.
- Sing well?: passable.
- Swear?: trying not to. But sometimes.
- Stuffed Animal? I had this sock monkey that I really, really loved. It had velcro hands and feet.
- Single/Group dates: both
- Strawberries/Blueberries: Strawberries~!

T
- Time for bed: 11:30 on a good girl night.
- Thunderstorms: Love, love, love storms of all kinds!
- TV: don't really watch much. The Office, UFC, Chuck
- Touch your tongue to your nose?: Is that even humanly possible?

U
- Unpredictable: maybe somewhat

V
- Vegetable you hate: I don't know. Swiss chard looks pretty vile.
- Vegetable you love: Peppers.
- Vacation spot: Anywhere!

W
- Weakness: Jumping to conclusions
- Which one of your friends acts the most like you: I'm not sure.
- Who makes you laugh the most: my kiddos!
- Worst feeling: knowing something bad is going to happen

X
-X-Ray: knees, sinuses, skull, spine

Y
-Year it is now: 2009
-Yellow: submarine?

Z
- Zoo animal: penguins!!
- Zodiac Sign: scorpio

Smell Ya Later!

My latest bottle of fragrance is nearing it's last few splashes and I'll soon be looking for something different. I always find shopping for perfume (ewwww... isn't that just the most horrible sounding word for something so lovely?) a bit overwhelming. I know that many women have sort of a signature scent... they pick a certain fragrance and stick to it with tenacity and verve. My moms is one of those people and to this day every time my kids catch a whiff of Elizabeth Arden's "Red Door", one of them is bound to exclaim "GRANDMA!!" before I can count to three through the smiles in my brain.

Me? I'm not really a signature scent kinda girl. But I am a monogamous scenter. I don't ever have more than one scent in my possession... So, in a way I try to claim the "ideal" of a signature scent, but without the commitment.

Yeah... I just lost respect for myself, too.

Anyhow, with the prospect of finding my newest fragrance Love in the near future, I thought it would be... uhhh, how you say? APROPOS... to take a brief look back at all the lovely (and some rather unfortunate) frangrances I have called my own.

1.) Ahhh, first ever perfume... your name has been long forgotten but I will remember you always. One in a package of five tiny sample bottles that my Mom didn't want, I chose you first because your name was something like "Sea" or "Paradise" and smelling you made me think of clean, clean water and sunshine. Unfortunately, our love affair was short as there wasn't much of you in the bottle and I soon found out that "Real" perfume costs more money than an eleven year old can concieve of.

Which led to my brief affair with cheap, stanky perfume that was adored by pre-teen girls and featured in Seventeen on every third page.


2.) Love's Baby Soft. My first issue of Seventeen sent me spiralling down the deep dark vortex of Advertising Targetted to PreTeens. Who wouldn't want to be like one of those perfectly perky collegiate babes, posing with their side ponytails and scrunchy socks? They had clear skin and big earrings and surely they must smell really, really good and be wanted by everyone! OK, so technically I didn't OWN this one, but beyond coveting it, I regularly borrowed a spray or two from my friend who was (dubiously) lucky enough to own a bottle of it and freely let me partake of the LOVE that is the Baby Soft.




3.) Exclamation. Honestly, I didn't really even like this one. But every single SuperCoolGirl(tm) wore it and I was phasing through that rough, but necessary "I really want to be Super Cool" patch. From our spiral permed hair teased within an inch of it's life to our Asics Tigers volleyball trainers, IKEDA baggy sweatshirts and tight jeans, teenage girls of that particular vintage were barely discernible from one another.




4.) Colors by United Colors of Benetton. There was a few different varieties of this one; my first "real" fragrance. I was fondest of the clear bottle with the black top and stuck with it for a few years. I was also allergic to it at first. Which meant I got a bit red and itchy around all those pulse points you were supposed to dab at. My allergy eventually subsided, though and this is probably the closest I became to being a "signature scent" girl. I think I used at least two or three bottles in succession... a record no other scent has come close to.




5.) Eternity by Calvin Klein. I really liked this one, as well. "ETERNITY, inspired by the ideal of lasting love and intimacy, is a romantic floral fragrance. This harmonious blend of both classic and contemporary scents is a perfect combination, created to reflect timeless quality and modern style. I think it's the low notes of sandalwood and patchouli that hooked me (don't get me started on those two... a am a certified sandalwood junkie) and kept me lovin it until the bottle was finished. Ummmm... the sexy beach ads didn't hurt, either.



6.) CKOne. It was a Christmas gift and it didn't quite hit the mark. I had first sniffed it out on a friend and actually really liked it. This was my first experience with the First Rule Of Fragrance "What smells good on someone else, will not always smell good on you". I'm sure there's some scientific reason involving skin chemistry and other such factual stuff. What matters is that it smelled really rather fake-ish and one dimensional on me. For the record, though... I did try to use it all. Waste not, want not, right? Besides, it was a gift.




7.) Hemp. Sandalwood. Patchouli. For a while I nixed the fragrance search, opting instead to become a human incense stick. Well, I wasn't that noxious... it was really a very subtle thing. It's not like you can go out and buy Hemp-scented perfume. Well, maybe you can. But I preferred the body lotion and shower gel route. Hydrated skin is happy skin!




8.) Curious by Britney Spears. Seriously... I hated that this was in any way, shape or form associated with Ms. Spears. I just happened to be flipping through a magazine and the sample strip fragrance hit me and it was kismet. Having learned my Chemistry lesson well, I took this one out for a tester date and it was love at first sniff. My skin + Curious. Heart! Arrows! But I hid the bottle and didn't let anyone know what I was wearing. Cause, ewww, pop princess... *shiver* But, yes... the sandalwood wins again. "The fragrance is a white floral scent. Its notes are Louisiana magnolia, golden Anjou pear, lotus flower, tuberose, star jasmine, pink cyclamen, vanilla-infused musk, sandalwood and blonde woods."




9.) Euphoria by Calvin Klein. This is my current fragrance. With an ingredient list that sounds as delicious as exotic, how could you not love this one? "The main notes are rose hip, Japanese apple, green leaves, Lotus, black orchid, red woods, black violet and amber." And look... no sandalwood! It's dark and sensual and fun. And almost empty.

And so the search begins. Any suggestions?

"Who's Your Ack-Tore?" and Answers To Other Questions You Never Thought To Ask.

OK, I am left with no choice but to bust out the Totally and Utterly Random Post up in here. Hang on for the ride.

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I did the math for the weekend coming up. 12 girls + 5 hours on the road + 8 hours of derby drills and spills + 2 hours of scrimmage + "X" hours of cabaret/pillowfights/general mayhem + 2 hours of fun skating at an old school roller rink the next day + 5 hours back home = Class 1 Road Trip. :) Can't wait! I'll take some pics of the carnage, I'm sure.

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Things are crazy icy around Fluttercity today. I witnessed so many close calls on the road today and can't believe that people aren't more careful (So says the girl who ran through a red light at 10pm on Friday night...oops.) The funniest thing is seeing the really little kids trying to walk on it. Cause they all have that invincible feeling that you get when your hand is safely holding onto a parent and they just let their legs FLY. Crazy cute.

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I had a super great weekend... went for what was supposed to be a birthday supper for a derby girlfriend and we ended up getting hooked up with free passes to a concert by This little Canadian group, which was super fun and all kinds of loud. The next night found me getting my karaoke on at another birthday party, which is always good therapy for the inner rockstar. I love birthdays!

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You can all mark your calendars today as the Day That Flutterby Starts Her Rise to Hollywood Stardom. Or something like that. Fluttercity actually has a burgeoning Film and TV industry and today I was asked to send pics to a casting agent for a TV show. It's just one episode and technically is an "extra" bit part, I believe... but I still think it's cool, if only to experience a day or two on set and make some mad money. Mostly, it's just a chance to meet some of the "playas" and maybe get some connections for some other work down the road.

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The Kid has lost two more teeth, one of which he pulled out himself. Which seriously about made me fall over in shock, cause just a month or two ago I had to be all TrickyToothPullingMom with him and fake him out just to get at the two teeth that had been languishin in Wiggly World for weeks beforehand. My boy is growing up. And, curiously, he has subsequently decided that he should eat salad now. Salad. It doesn't get more random than that, people.

Next Stop Derby-ville

Almost eight weeks ago I laced up my first pair of derby quad skates and boarded the derby train. They were shiny and new and I loved them.

They aren’t looking so new anymore. I’ve had to start taping my toes and cinch straps because they were getting gouged and burned by the sport court and other girls’ skates. They are lovingly scarred and a good bit worn already and I think I love them even more. I’ve logged close to 100 hours on them.

They may smell just a little bit funky. But I love my Pirate Skull hockey tape.

Last night marked the very last hour that they were ever worn by Derby Fresh Meat. Cause today I got the email I was waiting for. --my Fresh Meat days are done. On Thursday I receive my team placing and position.

WOO-FREAKING-HOO!

All of us Fresh Meat worked our butts off for this, and, whether or not everyone made the cut, I’m so proud of every one of us. We are gonna be a force to be reckoned with, given a little bit of time and seasoning. We are a hot mess of Crazy Tough and I can’t wait to see how things gel once we start practicing as a team and testing out the track in some bouts. There’s a couple travel dates on the agenda this summer and our own Derby version of the Labour Day Classic that we’ll be hosting in the fall… I can hardly believe that people will be buying tickets and coming to watch us (...Me! *ACK!*) compete. Just thinking about skating out onto the track with the girls... music pounding and the announcer shouting our derby names as we burn that first lap around the track... goosebumps.

I’ve got my derby name submitted to the international roster, and when I finally get the OK, I’ll have to give my persona an official introduction here in the blogosphere. Stay tuned!

The other day I came across this gem of a video from ESPN, a bit of a feature on derby and what it’s all about. Enjoy.

I Don't Know How To Put This, But I'm Kind Of a Big Deal...

The past few days have been a whirlwind of activity. I attended my first sales meeting with my new employer -- a Fluttercity building contractor. Received a crazy amount of information in the form of three 3-inch binders; hundreds of home plans, standard specs, land inventory, contracts and agreements, etc.

And, I now have my own hard hat. It's white. It's hard. It sits atop my head in an odd, hard-hattish manner that I have yet to get used to. Which is to say that it makes my head look about four inches taller than it should normally look. Very flattering, I can tell you. You doubt?

I've also added some tech-ey things, namely a laptop and a calculator that does metric conversions for me. Cause I'm not good with math like that and our home plans are in imperial measurements and land inventory is in metric. Why? I may never know. But, it would seem prudent to know whether a certain-sized house is OK to place on a certain-sized lot. You know, so as not to break municipal laws and what not.

What can I say? I aim to please.

Yesterday, I toured the site of our new showhome and learned a bit of the lingo. Most of which I was actually familiar with, I guess. But it was still a neat experience and I learned a lot. It's currently being plumbed so there was lots of structural stuff to see and learn about. "Structural stuff" is obviously not an official term. But it's all I got at the moment and don't want to bore everyone with a review of footings and engineered beams and web trusses and steel support beams and floating concrete slabs. All of which I find fascinating but probably will make everyone else yawn and click to another site.

And this is all very cool to me. I've been able to sit in a showhome with my sales partner (really, "trainer") for the past two nights and on Saturday I go it on my own. Hopefully, if this nice weather hangs in here, I might actually even have some lookey-loos come by.

But, by far the coolest thing is that, today? Today I'm picking up a Builder's key. Which means I'll have access to over 60 homesites in Fluttercity. As in, I can drive along and see one of Our homes and grab my trusty little hard hat and saunter on in like I own the place.

Which makes me kind of a big deal. :D

Well, at least I'm four inches taller with my hard hat on.

Three Things

Back to my usual "Break the Blogging Dry Spell formula"...

THREE THINGS THAT SCARE ME:
01 | unexplained noises at night
02 | the idea of flying over the ocean
03 | certain deep-sea creatures -- the kinds that look like aliens

THREE PEOPLE WHO MAKE ME LAUGH:
01 | Mr. F.
02 | my brother
03 | if you are my friend... you make me laugh.

THREE THINGS I LOVE:
01 | trying and learning new stuff
02 | fishnets
03 | jeans that are friendly to my rear

THREE THINGS I HATE:
01 | blemishes
02 | waiting in line
03 | commercials

THREE THINGS I DON'T UNDERSTAND:
01 | stock market
02 | commodity prices
03 | engine stuff

THREE THINGS ON MY DESK:
01 | Heely's shoe tool
02 | web cam
03 | black nail polish

THREE THINGS I'M DOING RIGHT NOW:
01 | typing
02 | blinking
03 | breathing

THREE THINGS I WANT TO DO BEFORE I DIE:
01 | Live in another country/culture
02 | Hike Machu Picchu
03 | See my grandbabies

THREE THINGS I CAN DO:
01 | spinning back kick
02 | "Amen" drum break
03 | top rock and six step... sortof

THREE WAYS TO DESCRIBE MY PERSONALITY:
01 | sassy
02 | quirky
03 | impulsive

THREE THINGS I CAN'T DO:
01 | "big" math in my head
02 | remember stuff without writing it down
03 | hack a computer

THREE THINGS I THINK YOU SHOULD LISTEN TO:
01 | opera -- loud and in a dark room (Pourquoi me reveiller -- Werther; very intense)
02 | the sound of a baby nursing at it's mother's breast
03 | a child's squeals and laughter during a tickle/chase game

THREE THINGS I DON'T THINK YOU SHOULD LISTEN TO EVER:
01 | Paris Hilton singing
02 | Evening news -- too depressing before bed
03 | Parliament channel

THREE OF MY ABSOLUTE FAVORITE FOODS:
01 | curry -- Indian or South African
02 | caramel apple cheesecake
03 | fresh strawberries

THREE THINGS I'D LIKE TO LEARN:
01 | to keep my mouth shut at the right time
02 | sewing or knitting
03 | another language

THREE BEVERAGES I DRINK REGULARLY:
01 | ice water
02 | Diet Pepsi (w/ bar lime, please?)
03 | fruit juice or coffee

THREE SHOWS I WATCHED WHEN I WAS A KID:
01 | The Flintstones
02 | Gilligan's Island
03 | The Incredible Hulk

Recently Overheard.

Flutterby's Right Shoulder: Ouch. Bloody hell! What are you doing to me, Flutterby?

Flutterby: Oh shut up. Just pretend you're a lot younger, OK? Can you manage that? I only rolled on you once, for crying out loud. You'd think you could handle a bit of punishment by now, oh KravWonderShoulder. *smirk*

Shoulder: *indignant* Look here. I don't mind a roll or two, it's that nasty banging up against other shoulders I'm not so fond of. And, I'll have you know I'm not the only one. Calves and Right Hip were talking yesterday and they're not too happy, either. And you should see Left Butt Cheek... --

Flutterby: *interrupts* -- yeah, I know about Left Butt Cheek. I was THERE, remember, smart arse?! Besides, if Leftie knew what the deal was, she'd just be quiet and thankful that I pulled off that slide and didn't smash her up on a skate wheel.

Shoulder: Sure. But she's still smarting with the rinkburn and I don't think you...

Flutterby: Don't think I what? Feel her pain? Trust me, I feel it just fine. GAH! Is it too much to ask for body parts that can keep up with me, here?

Shoulder: *pouts*

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Sigh. Derby was not kind to me this week. Actually, derby was awesome. Better than, even. But, my body is running to catch up after three nasty practices in a row. Lots of hard work, some tumbles and a crazy baseball slide on a floor that wasn't at all slide-ey (my bad, I forgot in the moment!) left me with some bruises and a lovely fist-sized angry red rinkburn. Oh, and I can testify that a full session of running toe starts will render one's calves a trembling, sore mess the next day.

The good news is that all this hard work is paying off. My coach pulled me aside to go over my benchmark results and I was so pleased to see how well I did on them. And I couldn't help but grin like a fool when she told me that if I keep it up over the next couple months, she was pretty sure I'd make the travel team when try-outs hit.

Now, for anyone who's grown up being relatively confident of their athletic abilities, made cuts and placed at track and field, etc.... this kind of thing is probably no biggie. But for me? Big deal. I never was really involved in any team sports, hated gym class, avoided track and field. I might have wanted to try out for a team or two but never did cause I lacked confidence that I could stack up against the competition and took myself way too seriously -- the idea of being cut from try-outs was a nightmare I didn't want to even think about.

My first team experience was a year after the Princess was born when I joined a ladies soccer league. And while I never, ever tore up the field, I was a solid defender. You know, generally made the smart play and could be counted on to stop what I was supposed to stop. I actually had not bad instincts for the game once I found my groove, I dug hard and found an aggressive, competitive side of myself that I didn't really know was there. My second and third years I would often sub in as goalkeeper. I hated that feeling of pressure that the buck stops with me. But when my team needed someone, the fingers ended up pointing in my direction which, while it felt good in a way, also really sucked. I can recall a couple replay-worthy saves and a memorable moment when I thought my face might have caved in from a howitzer of a shot (Does it count that I stopped the ball -- with my FACE??) but it really wasn't my position to shine in.

After soccer, I suppose Krav was my next athletic adventure. I think my body finally played catch-up for all those nonathletic years and my Krav training helped me out immensely with that whole mind-body connection. I still want to go back and finish training for my next ranking... but right at the moment derby has a hold of me, I guess. I have a window of opportunity, age-wise, to abuse my body on the derby track and so it's now or never. Krav can wait. :)

I'm just not sure my body is really pleased with the new arrangements. Lucky for me, this is a dictatorship and not a democracy. The word on the street is Put Up or Shut Up.

You hear that, Shoulder?? Good. Glad we have an understanding.

"arghh" and "stupid" and "Hmmmm..."

First, "Arghh and Stupid": I had to toast my template as it wasn't really compatible with, well... posting and all stuff pertaining to blogging. Especially posting pictures. I'd like to say that I tried really, really hard to make it work, but I have the attention span of a gnat when it comes to tech-ey stuff that is not readily apparent. After a couple googles and a visit to Blogger Help? Done. Which means I'm back in black for the time being. (anyone else rocking out that AC/DC tune in their head right now? Thought so...)

"Hmmmmm...": I had a rendezvous with my hairstylist today. One which was long overdue cause a girl like me can only go so long without a little... you know. :D I always hate leaving it go too long; I feel sheepish walking in with outgrown panels and ratty ends. But, it always happens. Either cause of budget or just cause I have a hard time planning ahead for stuff like that. I'm kinda a fly by the seat of my pants person and booking something ahead two or three weeks makes me all kinds of anxious, cause, well... what if something else comes up? Or other various non-essential and non-rational concerns. Whatever. The point being that I finally got my butt into the salon and told my favorite girl "Have at it." Which means that I really, really trust her.

Which may have backfired a bit. Not much, but I'm still trying to decide whether I really like it or if it's all wrong. She decided to lighten everything up around my blond panels and then chopped a lot off and threw in a fringe of bangs. Which ended up like this:





Oh well, when it comes to hair my philosophy is pretty much that It Will Always Grow Back. And there have been some defining hair moments that have had me chanting that while cowering in the corner of the shower and I'm still alive to tell it.

I guess I'll get used to this, too.

As The World Turns.

I confess I am a people watcher. If I'm waiting somewhere, anywhere -- Dr's office, parking lot -- chances are I'm watching you.

I'm not picking apart your wardrobe or wondering why the heck you're such a hot mess. It's more about that look in your eye or why you're walking with your shoulders rounded down today. I guess I'm fascinated by the story that I see in people. The mystery of trying to figure it out.

Some people are easy to read; sometimes their current situation is all you see... the stressed mom with kids trailing behind and packages in hand; the squabbling couple who thinks they're being discreet. Sometimes peoples "unseen" deeds are seen; the surreptitious littering or quick nose-digging. The gracious opening of a door for someone who needs help or letting someone else step ahead in line.

Occasionally, you get to see moments of brilliance and courage; the ill man with dark circles under his eyes who is struggling to do the simplest of tasks, but perseveres for the sake of continuing normality in his life. The determined look of a child in a wheelchair, working hard to keep up with his family in the parking lot. The careful application of lipstick on a lined and age-worn face as an elderly woman reminds the world that she once was a beauty. The trembling hand of a woman with a neurological issue which bears the shaky lines of nail polish.

I guess I see myself in these stories, in these passers-by. They are a parade of my past, my present, my future, my good, my bad, my embarrassed slips and graceful saves. They are a parade of emotion and a reminder that even the mundane moments in life are Seen. The world goes on and we are Seen.

There's a beauty in that which never fails to touch me. And so I watch. And smile. And sometimes I weep. And hope that somewhere, sometime; I will be Seen, too.

Mom! She's Doing It Again!

JodyJ recently did a questionnaire on her lovely little piece of blog-space and -- besides the fact that I'm a hopeless copycat -- she expressed interest in knowing one of my answers to a question that was part of the interview. And, well... it would be a bit weird to devote a singular post to that question, so I thought it best to do the whole interview.

Here goes:

1) What was the last thing you did before you came online today? Made a cup of fantastic coffee and thawed out one of my grandma's muffins for breakfast. (Banana/chocolate chip with extra nuts.)
2) Do you prefer a bikini panty or thong? Depends on the pants, I guess. Denim works with anything, but dress pants and anything white shows pantylines. (right, Therese??!)
3) Latest product you've purchased? Ravin Rabbids Wii game. And, yes... it's fun. I just spent part of the morning shooting chicken zombies with the Kid. Heaven.
4) Last book you read? The Princess is reading "The Diamond of Darkhold" to me at night.
5) One childhood memory? I remember being about 8 years old; Little Bro was 4 and the folks went out for an evening and got a neighborhood boy to babysit. Little Bro woke up late at night, crying from a nightmare and babysitter, "D", was nowhere to be found. I told Little Bro I'd find him and started searching the house. Went downstairs and found two sets of eyeglasses on the console stereo... Opened the door to the spare room/playroom and... HolyCrapBoobiesAndStuff!!! I think I scared "D" and his girlfriend half to death (both in the Moment and with fear of the wrath of the Parents Finding Out) and the worst part was that the little tramp used my favorite stuffie to, errrr, COVER UP! Ewwwwwww.
6) First Kiss? I was *cough* twelve (ALMOST THIRTEEN, Y'ALL!!!!) and sorta "going out" with a guy a bit older than me by a couple years. (Which, hello? Like I knew at all what I was doing...) My grandparents were watching me for the weekend and he came along with us out to a farm where they were to look at a motorhome that was for sale. Kittens were running about and we followed them around, ending up behind some kind of outbuilding or shed. Little Flutter, meet Lips. Don't forget to breathe. I said... Don't. Forget. To. Breathe.
7) What color of nail polish are you wearing? NONE! I'm working in a warehouse and constantly shredding them on boxes and heavy stuff. I usually only keep a clear coat on or something light colored (french mani, etc.) if at all, anyway. I don't have nice nails at all.
8) What are you wearing? Brown ballet capris, tank and black hoodie. Fashionista I am not.
9) Last phone call? My mother-in-law.
10) One New Year's Resolution? Posted bout that already.
11) Something new you want to try? What? I'm supposed to be ambitious, now? OK... I kinda would like to try roller-derby.
12) Something you haven't done for a while and want to start up again? I want to start skiing again this winter and get the kids started, too.
13) Favorite chocolate bar? Hmmmm... probably Snickers. Skor is a close second.
14) Long glamour nails or short nails? I can't grow my own nails worth crap. :( But, the few times I've had gel nails, I've still kept them at a sporty length and french manicured.
15) What color is your bedroom? Kinda monochromatic... mid-tone brown and deep grey.
16)Favorite season? I'm with JJ on this one... "Easier to say my least favorite, winter. The other three seasons are my favorite."
17) One pet peeve? People who don't put away their shopping carts. *grrrrrr* This may or may not be influenced by my current job pushing hundreds of errant carts around a ginormous parking lot. In the snow. Whilst freezing.
18) Do you make your bed every morning? I have to, or else my Inner Critic spends the whole day making me feel like a worthless piece of humanity. What's up with that?
19) What is the first post you ever wrote about? I first wrote in 1995, two posts; one an intro to the blogosphere and the other a satirical review of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. Which may have amounted to not much more than "*sigh* Johnny Depp." I really can't remember.
20) Did you enjoy this questionnaire? Yes! Which is to say that I always pretty much enjoy talking about myself! :)
21) Not done yet, one more thing, post a picture that makes you feel good. Read the post and accompanying pics below.

Dreamin'

I know that some think that Style is something you are born with; an inherent set of inclinations and preferences that you carry with you through life. I'm finding that style is something you grow into.

And it's frustrating the heck out of me.

Cause the old Me (OK, really, that would be the Young Me, but bear with me, here, people...) was a slave to the trend and all into being sleek and modern just for the sake of ensuring continued job security for IKEA employees of the world. It's a style I can still appreciate from an artful view, but I'm finding that I don't feel at Home in it like I used to.

Maybe it's growing older (maturer? Ha! Don't think so.) that tunes you in to your inner esthetic, but I'm often surprised to find the environments that nurture and comfort and inspire me are actually very simple and rustic. I crave small, cozy spaces filled with texture and color and the warmth of wood and stone and clay earth. I love the intimacy of handwrought features; the textured glasses and the unique reclaimed pieces. I love simplistic, straightforward design with natural materials and lots and lots of sunlight. Organic, natural and solid.

I love This. This compact little home in Dunedin, New Zealand that I found on a real estate website. 1000 sq ft and three bedrooms and surrounded by the most beautiful nature one could imagine. And, while chances are slim that New Zealand and I will ever cross paths; I'm thinking maybe I'll email the owners to purchase the blueprints. Cause maybe one day I'll get to build a little house that belongs in my dreams.

Can You Tell Me How To Get...

The brilliance of Sesame Street dazzled me long past the years of childhood. I loved the quirky muppet humor and the nods to popular culture tucked in amongst the ABCs. One of the things I loved about having kids of my own was being able to watch The Street with them and seeing some of the same classic bits that ran when I was a child. (You know you can't forget the Twelve Pinball Song.) Sure, it's changed and characters have been added, as well as some having sadly been lost to time and illness. For awhile it seemed to be a totally Elmo-driven bus which thankfully seems to have changed.

But, as I've grown older... the Street just doesn't capture my attention anymore. Like a junkie needing a bigger high, I've had to search for a different Street, a better Street. A Street that I can call home.

I've found it here. Yes, I am a Coronation St. addict. Weill, addicc is rilly sooch a harsh word, ayn it?

Let's set aside for a moment that it's technically a show in the "soap" genre which I generally cannot stand (outside of a short penchant for Another World during my lunch hour break at one particular workplace, but that doesn't count cause there was NOTHING ELSE ON.) and consider the merits of Corrie St.

1). Real People. Oh how I love real people. No fashionistas or spray tans and botoxed faces. Just a regular representation of a variety of society's segments and classes. Not every one is a looker. No one holds all the cards. Real People. Astounding concept, this. Try to think of how many shows actually offer this in their cast. The Hills? 90210? LOST? So-called Reality TV? Only found on Corrie St., luv.

2). Real Ages. Oh yes, the diversity of age is there, too. From babies and teens to Uni's and middle-aged and elderly; all the characters have vital parts in the society and plot of this show. I admit to being hooked on seeing this elderly segment of the Street worm their way into the drama.

3). Real Stories. OK, this is pushing it a little. It is a SOAP, after all. But the plots don't push reality all that far. Other than the pushing the statistics that all these events would happen in a small sampling of a community with the regularity that they do, Corrie Street is mostly about the drama of Life. There are a few malevolent characters, but only in that they are so flawed and entitled that the shrapnel of their lives wounds others.

4). Real Characters. Dimensional and varied, the writers have really tried to re-create an actual community with it's unique facets and characters. I think they do a pretty good job.

5.) It spins my head a little. With all the different dialects and accents (a mish-mash which is really the show's greatest incontinuity; considering that many of the characters supposedly have spent their whole lives in this one district.) my brain is kept in gear trying to sort out what's being said. While a bit nutty at first, you do get used to it.

What's your favorite show?

Oh Nine, Baby.

Here we are, five days in to a brand-spanking New Year which is usually something I really, really LOVE. I've always fancied that blank calendar smiling at me with all it's promise of potential and change. New beginnings and do-overs and the like.

I will floss daily. I won't procrastinate. I will Change The World... tomorrow. Crap. There goes #2.

I usually do make resolutions, if only cause I tend to be introspective like that. And I usually do so on the first day of the new year, if only cause that's when one is supposed to do such things. But, after 10 years of putting "no procrastinating" on the list in it's various forms and shadings (I will not self-sabotage. I will prioritize. I will not procrastinate. I will not ever, ever procrastinate. I will not ever, ever, ever procrastinate.) it's clear that this is one part of my make-up that I may never change.

So, it's no surprise to me (nor to many of you) that I am behind the curve on the Posting of the Resolutions.

Better late than never, right?

Warning -- these are not weighty, pretentious resolutions. I am not going to resolve to change the world, or love myself more or serve humankind in a new and profound way. Not that I don't think that these are all good resolutions. But, c'mon, people... baby steps. I am just one little Flutter, after all.

Flutterby's New Year Resolutions

1) Bedtime. I need one. Desperately. I don't know if it's cause I'm getting older, or what, but the Flutter that used to be able to pass out in five seconds flat on a hard basement floor and sleep soundly through an air ride siren, waking refreshed and ready for a full day on only five hours sleep is a Flutter I don't know anymore. And, I've also noticed a bad habit of putting off going to bed (and, really, WHAT THE HECK IS THAT ABOUT?) later and later each night. I'm currently at a 2 a.m. set point and that is NOT compatible with, well, anything except fraternizing with street thugs and night creatures. Morning is not my friend and that really, really sucks. Especially cause my new job will have me up at 5:30 a.m. I have two weeks to whip this into shape before I will end up needing a caffeine drip installed directly into a major artery in order to function at work. I'm thinking 10 p.m. is a good, sensible goal to set, but part of me wants to whither and die thinking of going to bed that early. I mean, all those kid-free hours LOST. Time to hang out and be quiet or watch TV or read or surf or do housework and laundry. Me-time. I'm losing HOURS of it. (I do totally realize the selfish, whining tone of this all... I ain't no Mother Teresa) Regardless, going to bed on time is now a necessity. Stupid, ridiculous Responsibility. Sucks.

2) Get off this Hormone Train. I am tired of these ridiculous blemishes and hair issues (It's dry. It's breaking. It's awful.). My hormones are running amuck and it's high time I found out why and what to do about it all. I have a few more tricks up my "natural" sleeve. I am also going in for a crapload of blood tests this week. The results will take up to a month (yay, healthcare system.) so I've got some time to try and work this out myself, yet. My doctor wants me on b/c but... yuck. I hate that idea with the white-hot hate of a thousand suns. Fingers crossed that I won't have to. Whatever the case, I vow that by the end of this year -- hopefully sooner, please, God -- that this will all be resolved and All Better And Back To Normal.

3) Fitness. I know, I know. Very cliche. But I do have some goals in mind that I want and need to accomplish for myself. I think I'm going to start a different blog to track this one down and for accountability. I've always felt kinda weird posting gym stuff here and it's probably best to re-home that topic rather than boring the crap out of people with it.

4) Spiritual Discipline. Actually, most of my resolutions are about discipline, aren't they? Hmmmmm... I have to admit that I find it difficult to talk about spiritual things. To talk about God, really. I don't know why that is, cause I am a spiritual person (we all are, in the larger sense, I guess. I meant that in the individual sense). I've been challenged through some important events and precious people this past year and I would be remiss to not take up this challenge, to allow this vital area of my life to be, well, actually Vital.

5) Being a Girl. I'm going to take time to nurture the feminine side of me. Home-spa nights with my Princess or coffee with a friend and the occasional girls-night-out watching a sappy or profound movie. Nice nails and smooth legs and the occasional splurge on make-up or cute underthings. I will enjoy long baths in the nice tub that I wanted put in our home especially to enjoy long baths in but have not made proper use of until now. I will buy tropical scented bubbles for said bath and try not to light my hair on fire with the candles perched on it's edge. I will have sassy hair and white teeth despite my new love for all things coffee. These things all sound like fun, but I know that they are truly Work. I spent years destroying the Girl in me and those habits die hard. And time is always hard to find and easy to waste.

And that about wraps it up. Sure, there's a lot more that I hope to accomplish this year. This is just all that I dare write down.

Too Long, Too Much... But I'm Doing It Anyway.

1. Describe your ex in two words: intuitive, kind

2. Do you have a favorite type of pen? Currently a Z-Grip Zebra Pen, but I have a fondness for those stainless steel business pens with the zaggy pen clips.

3. Look at your planner for May 14th, what are you doing? Nothing listed, but I'll be planning the Kid's birthday party, likely.

4. What does the 4th text in your inbox say? It's a confirmation of a survey I completed for a website beta test. (which sounds WAY more interesting and important than it really is.)

5. What was the last thing you highlighted? Some interesting stuff in a parenting book to share with Mr. F. later on.

6. What color are your bedroom curtains? No curtains, actually.

7. What color are the seats in your car? Grey. And maybe a little bit "chocolate and crumb colored" in the back from our last road trip snack issues.

8. Have you ever had a black and white cat? Yes, she was mostly black with a little white patch on her chest and tummy. Named oh-so-creatively "Blackie".

9. What is the last thing you put a stamp on? Some sort of official form or what not. Like I keep track of this stuff?? I barely remember what I fed my kids for breakfast.

10. Do you know anyone who lives in Wyoming? No.

11. Why did you withdraw cash from the ATM the last time? Probably to pay for a hot dog at Costco. :)

12. Who was the last baby you held? Abigail

13. Do you know of any twins with rhyming names? Nope.

14. Do you like Cinnamon toothpaste. Yes!

15. What kind of car were you driving 2 years ago? GMC Trailblazer named "Snowflake".

16. Pick one: Miami Hurricanes or Florida Gators. Basketball, right? Uhhh... Hurricanes.

17. Last time you went to Six Flags? Never been.

18. Do you have any wallpaper in your house? No.

19. Closest thing to you that is yellow? Orangey-yellow lid on a rubbermaid storage bin under the desk that's holding all my printer paper.

20. Last person to give you a business card? Executive Director of the SK Ronald McDonald House.

21. Who is the last person who wrote a check to you? My tenants.

22. Closest framed picture to you? Sadly, there are no framed pictures in this room. Wow, that sucks. Must do something about that.

23. Last time you had someone cook for you? Tonight, compliments of Mr. F.!

24. Have you ever applied for welfare? No.

25. How many emails do you have? 67.

26. Last time you received flowers? A dozen peach roses on Friday night when I got home. :)

27. Do you think the sanctity of marriage is meant for only a man and woman? Yes.

28. Do you play air guitar? I don't just Play, I SHRED.

29. Has anyone ever proposed to you? Proposed what?

30. Do you take anything in your coffee? Sugar. Sometimes milk or cream.

31. Do you have any willow tree figurines? Never heard of them. I'm not really a collecting-type person.

32. What was your high school’s mascot? Really can't recall.

33. Last thing you drank? Water with ice.

34. Last time you used hand sanitizer? A few days ago at work.

35. Would you like to learn to play the drums? I sort of can, but would like to Really be able to play.

36. What color are the blinds in your living room? White shipscloth.

37. What is in your inbox at work? Don't have one there.

38. Last thing you read in the newspaper? Strangely, sports scores.

39. What was the last pageant you attended? Never have.

40. What is the last place you bought pizza from? Boston Pizza

41. Have you ever worn a crown? I was going to say "Not on your life" but then I remembered Girl Guide Camp last winter where I was the Queen of Clean. I think there was a regrettable use of foil and cardboard involved.

42. What is the last thing you stapled? Some craft for the kiddos.

43. Did you ever drink clear Pepsi? I think so. And I'm still alive to tell of it.

44. Are you ticklish? And how! I've gained a bit of control over the last years, but I can still be rendered helpless pretty easily.

45. Last time you saw fireworks? July 1st at the lake.

46. Last time you had a Krispy Kreme doughnut? Canada does not have Krispy Kreme. We have Tim Horton's and it was a Boston Creme (really the only kind I like) over two months ago at least.

47. Who is the last person that left you a message & you actually returned their call? My sis-in-law.

48. Last time you parked under a carport? I don't think I ever have had the, uhh, pleasure.

49. Do you have a black dog? No.

50. Do you have pickles in your fridge? Do banana pepper rings count? All out of dills at the moment.

51. Are you an aunt or uncle? Aunt!

52. Who has the prettiest eyes that you know? A young Native man who works at a gas station we frequent. His eyes are light amber honey-colored with a dark ring around the outside. Wow.

53. Last time you saw a semi truck? Pretty much every day around here.

54. Do you remember Ugly Kid Joe? Sort of.

55. Do you have a little black dress? Well, I have a little black skirt, if that counts. I'm not really a Dress Kind of Girl.