Solving for X

Grouchy, Cold Flutterby + Super Warm Coat = Toasty, Happy Flutterby

Or something like that.

After suffering through a week of temperatures hovering around -30C (plus windchill, of course... this is Saskatchewan, people) whilst wearing her nine-year-old boarding jacket which had long past lost all it's high-tech loft in repeated washings, a certain Flutterby decides that enough is enough. And gathering her chilly self in her freezing car, she sets out for Army Surplus sites unknown.

For there, she has heard, is the Mother of all Warm Winter Coats. A coat so warm and awesome, it was designed to keep bodies warm during Arctic military expeditions.

Searching for the coat in the midst of other, equally bad-ass looking coats, Flutterby quickly spots the MWWC. It is large and techy looking with gnarly zippers and pockets and enough fur on the hood to cover a large cat. One look at the succinct, no-nonsense military label tells her that this is a "Parka: Extreme Cold Weather". It is surprisingly light and she hefts it over her shoulders and proceeds to struggle with the double ended zipper (What is this? Kindergarten again?? Please.) and arrange the extra large, furry hood over her head.

It is indeed, the winter coat to end all coats. Her search has ended.

If only she didn't look like a large marshmallow in it. *sigh* A TOASTY, WARM large marshmallow, though.




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It is true that I have entirely lost all pretense of being fashionable in this parka. It is huge. Too big for me, really... but they are sized for buff army dudes and not average housewives. Size small was as little as they came and I still swim in it. I probably look rather like the Michelin Man -- all puffy and shapeless and if Stacy and Clinton got a hold of me in it, I'm sure they'd give me an earful.

But seriously, I am so over FREEZING in the wintertime. And if we are indeed going to finish out our lives here in this nasty part of the winter-world, I've decided that I will at least not wish I was dead when the deep freeze hits.

-35... I'm waiting for you. Bring it.

Rudimentary Equations

Extreme Cold Temperatures + Flutterby = GROUCHY ME

Oscar the Grouch ain't got nothin on me. I'll shank that little green goober before he can flip the lid on his trash can.

And my kidneys hurt. Which seems totally unrelated but I assure you is totally, completely related to both the Cold and the Grouch. And maybe even the shanking. Whatever.

I have a feeling that all this could be nicely cured by a week or two sitting on a beach in Cuba or Mexico or something like that. Maybe my own private island with endless sand, grottos and Krav Maga. But I digress. Yes, I think that some sun and sand and swimming could be the ticket to a happier, less stabby, Me.

Anyone care to join?? I promise to leave my knives at home.

Brrrrrrrrr...ing it On!

I promised myself I wouldn't yak on about the cold again on my blog. So, instead I will tell you all the many and varied ways I employed to keep myself warm today.

1) Went to the gym. This was by far the best thing for staying warm. I started SimpleFit level four (20 mins; 26 pull-ups(modified), 52 push-ups, 78 olympic squats (20#)... I'm so going to be hurtin' tomorrow) and then wrapped my slick, sweaty self into my parka and drove home with the steam puffing from the top of my damp head. Didn't even feel the chill.

2) Clunky, Fuzzy Winter Boots and Ski Gloves. Now, if someone would invent a way to plug these into something that would make them roasty, toasty warm... a thought which inspired my next attempt at keeping warm.

3) Hair Dryer. Yes, it was chilly in the store today and the hair dryer that we use to dry paint samples found it's way under my shirt a few times today and maybe even down my pants (At which Mr. F. could only ask "What in the world are you doing?" and I could only reply "Warming up dinner, baby"... heh heh). But we won't talk about that one. Lucky hair dryer, huh? :D

4) Jumping jacks. Reference #1. Thought this might help. It didn't really do much.

5) Extra clothes. Self explanatory. I also felt a little embarrassed by the lecherous stare of the hair dryer after our little rendezvous and felt I should cover up.

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I have to go out tonight to get groceries and I cannot tell you how much I'm dreading it. But, unless I want to pack dry crusts and moldy cheese for my kid's lunch (How Hansel and Gretel of me, hey?) I really need to go out shopping.

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Last night I totally re-did the Princess' room. Her room used to have a loft bed, but this summer she got a regular twin-sized bed. (which is apparently, soooooo much more grown up, Mom, like, REALLY.) It was set up in the same place as the loft bed, which was no biggie in the summer time, but come winter time... it's quite obvious that the heat register is blocked by it's placement. And a chilly Princess is a grumpy Princess.

So, last night I rearranged her furniture, which also meant vacuuming and wiping baseboards and sorting through her toys and papers and -- holy cow, the girl has STUFF. I swapped out her big computer desk for a smaller one and threw out at least a gigawatt of junk. I found some missing socks and CDs and was very thankful that I don't allow her to eat in her room as I certainly would have found regrettable rotten stuff, as well. I also slipped a fleecy blanket under her flannel sheet for warmth and added a down throw to her bed.

The Princess usually doesn't like change, not one bit. But, I think she was pretty pleased to see the new configuration of her room. And, now that things are a bit more streamlined, it should make it easier for her to maintain. Cause I was reminded that I need to expect much more from her in this area and we've had a talk to that effect. HandiPoints chore charts have been explained and Mom is in drill sergeant mode. I'm trying to find the right mix of Benevolent and Scary. Will let you all know how that works out.


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Mr. F. and I have volunteered to be a part of the Ronald McDonald House. There will be a home opening in Fluttercity in the near future and I am so excited to help out.


About nine years ago, the Princess needed a couple surgeries that involved us travelling to another province's Children's Hospital for a week each time. The Ronald McDonald House was a huge blessing to our family then, providing a home away from home where it was easy to function as usual; cooking, accomodating a toddler, hanging out, etc. We met some incredible and unforgettable families and children there and we always vowed we'd find a way to give back.


We spoke with the Executive Director last week and are simply waiting to hear what needs to be done. :)


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This week, I'm signing the grommets up for ski lessons at our local "mountain". I've decided that, what with selling all our worldly goods and moving to warmer climates being a bit too far out of reach, we will have to find ways to enjoy this season we call The Freaking Freezing Cold Part of the Year (traditionally known in many cultures as Winter). I have vague memories of actually Liking this season growing up and it largely had to do with being able to go downhill skiing. The prairie town I grew up in had a ski hill close by... nothing at all like the mountains, mind you... but I daresay it was the envy of the province when it comes to skiing as it's the most "mountain-like" (and if that just isn't the saddest commentary of prairie living, I don't know what is.) So, along with a bit of territorial pride in this ski hill came the snobbish derision of all other provincial ski hills (and surprisingly, there are a few). Needless to say, it actually bothers me a bit that my kids will be learning to ski on *nose in the air* THAT excuse of a ski hill.


But, learn they will. I'm actually really looking forward to skiing and boarding again. (although my snowboarding efforts were sub-par and injury-ridden... maybe I'll rethink the snowboarding!) Hopefully the ski hill isn't too much of a disappointment. I know that there's a pretty active Alpine club here, which is great. There's a trip to Kimberly, BC in the works for the New Year and if the grommets catch on fast, we might just join in the fun.


Vive la SNOW~!