I think I may have seen someone from the Otherworld. Or whatever you call it.
Yesterday, while dutifully doing my warehouse duties, my eyes rested upon a man whose appearance arrested my attention.
If Hugh Jackman ever stepped out of the pages of a Dicken's novel, this was the man. Shiny black shoes, long black dress coat with a grey woolen scarf and a... for real, now... a black top hat. I wouldn't have blinked if he had carried a walking stick. He had two, equally well dressed companions with him who called him The Butler and they, along with a number of members of our Merchandising crew were bring up flatbed after flatbed stacked tall with boxes of chips, crackers, chocolates, candies and the like. The counter next to mine was opened just for this purchase and as The Butler and His Entourage left their flatbeds there while they finished picking up the remainder of items they needed, the gossip grew.
Who is this man? Is he truly some rich family's butler? An eccentric, wealthy man living a persona? Or someone who simply looks delicious in turn of the century clothing and likes to make people talk about himself? Regardless, the amount of merchandise he was bringing to the front was astounding. A member of Merchandising came by and I overheard that this was a charitable donation to some children's charity, just as the Butler came strutting back to the front end.
And, how, you may wonder, does a Butler (The Butler?) in the middle of Saskatchewan speak? With a proper British accent of course; leaning a bit towards the Cockney, rather than a crisp London. Oh, and he opens out in song (the last line of The 12 Days of Christmas, for those who would like to know) without the slightest discomfort.
Which all leads me to believe that he was a very rich, very interesting Apparition. A spector of Christmas Past.
That, or a very strange and extremely mysterious man. Who wears a top hat. And sings. And gives large sums of money to charity.
Nope, I'm still leaning towards the Spector-thing.
Showing posts with label warehousin' gangsta. Show all posts
Showing posts with label warehousin' gangsta. Show all posts
12.23.2008
12.20.2008
Impossible Things I Would Kill For at the Moment.
1) Being Someone Else. Cause my sorry piece-of-crap body is letting me down big time. I know that I just have to get used to the demands of my new job, but... yikes. Between pushing rows of carts through the snow, running lengths of the warehouse, loving the crap out of the concrete beneath my Adidas and constantly lifting and transfering 20 - 60 lbs from belt to cart, I am one hurtin' little unit.
2.) Summer. Cause -30 Celcius is not doing a thing for me, honey. 'Cept chap my skin and frost my car and make me swear more than usual.
OK... so those are the only two things that I'd be well chuffed to fix up.
Oh, and...
3.) Something interesting and fun to blog about. Cause, well... that's self-evident isn't it?
2.) Summer. Cause -30 Celcius is not doing a thing for me, honey. 'Cept chap my skin and frost my car and make me swear more than usual.
OK... so those are the only two things that I'd be well chuffed to fix up.
Oh, and...
3.) Something interesting and fun to blog about. Cause, well... that's self-evident isn't it?
12.17.2008
Play by Play for the Day.
10:45 a.m. I check in at Member Services as per instructions to find out where to go for my orientation. Downstairs it is.
10:47 a.m. I take a seat in the common area, hoping to see one of the five management people I've met thus far.
10:49 a.m. I can't help but wonder if I'm in the right place.
10:53 a.m. No sign of management, no sign of a sign, even. Gah!
10:55 a.m. I really must not be in the right place. See people down the hall. Ask people if they would direct me to the orientation meeting. Down the hall and past the closed door, you say? Why thank you, kind people.
10:56 a.m. Mutter under my breath about incompetent directions and an almost tardy arrival to the orientation.
10:57 a.m. Walk in the door with a smile on my face that doesn't show how much I don't like wearing this collared shirt and my previous irritation with not knowing where to be for something that is rather important.
11:00 a.m. Commence orientation with soon-to-be coworkers; a very nice older woman and a cute (in a clean-cut adorable way) pre-med student.
11:15 a.m. Learn how to properly lift stuff by watching videos of numerous people lifting stuff in exaggerated motion.
11:28 a.m. Learn how to clean up spills of a nefarious nature: chemicals, acids, vomit and all other manner of yuck.
11:42 a.m. It's Freezing in here! I wonder if it would look weird if I put on my coat? I don't want to look like I want to leave or something. Brrrrrr.
11:55 a.m. Really, really cold.
12:08 p.m. Help me. My heartrate is slowing into hibernation mode. Suck it. I'm putting on my coat.
12:11 p.m. Much better.
12:30 p.m. Learn that schedules are posted in military time. Hoo-ah! Secretly hope I don't screw it up. Man, that's a gimormous schedule.
12:34 p.m. Ha ha! Pre-med student is funny!
1:00 p.m. My tummy is growling. I should've had breakfast and normally would have except that I was told that Costco was treating us to lunch and all I could think was "mmmmmmmmmm, Poutine." and do you know how many calories and fat is in Costco Poutine?? At least 5,031,990. Enough to finance the clogging of a minor artery. Enough that I shouldn't even be considering eating it at all. It should not be considered "food".
1:05 p.m. Funny and adorable Pre-Med student orders poutine. SOLD! I'll have mine with a diet Coke, thank you. Cause I'm sensible like that.
1:35 p.m. Get to use the bio-metric retina scanner to clock back in. Kidding. But that would be cool, wouldn't it? Instead, I got to scan a barcode.
1:38 p.m. More safety stuff. Look, we're watching ANOTHER video about how to lift stuff properly. WHMIS, MSDS, HAZCOM, ZZZZZZZ...
2:45 p.m. Huh? What happened? Where am I? ... Ha ha. I'm only kidding. I totally paid attention.
2:47 p.m. I've signed more forms and contracts than an ambassador at a Head of State meeting.
2:48 p.m. What exactly do ambassadors do, anyhow? Sounds like a cushy job... I wonder how one gets hooked up with a gig like that? Ambassador degree? Charm school?
2:49 p.m. Night merch guy has a very interesting beard thing going on. Intriguing.
3:00 p.m. Quick break. Check out schedules for this week and next. Six days in a row and forty hours. Not bad. Double check my military time. Don't screw this up, Flutter.
3:10 p.m. My manager; my entertaining, talky, cool manager takes the floor. Some rules and do's and dont's.
3:15 p.m. Harassment guidelines. Or rather, guidelines to avoid harassment.
3:23 p.m. More forms. For realsies. My signature is by now looking like a wavy line.
3:45 p.m. Glad we're almost done cause my butt is feeling a little square-ish from sitting so long.
3:48 p.m. I wonder if the key will work for the kiddos. Will they remember to go to the neighbors if it doesn't?
3:51 p.m. Man, what if they can't get in the house and the neighbor isn't home and... holy cow it's freezing outside. C'mon. This better end on time.
3:52 p.m. Get a grip. Everything will be fine.
4:00 p.m. OK, entertaining and wonderful manager. We are supposed to be done. I have kids ALONE IN THE HOUSE. OR HUDDLED ON THE PORCH IN -30 DEGREE WEATHER. Well, likely alone in the house, but still... Smile, Flutter. Stay engaged.
4:09 p.m. Please, please, please can we go? Oh, more forms. Sure. I'll scrawl, I mean SIGN those.
4:15 p.m. Done. Finally. Scanny thing again. Oh, how I wish it was a retina scanner.
4:20 p.m. Where the heck did I park and why is it so unbelievably cold out? Rocket better start. The kids! Check cell phone finally. No messages. Breathe easy, I'm sure they're inside and just fine.
4:30 p.m. Home. Kids are inside... not fighting. BONUS!!
4:38 p.m. Survey damage in the kitchen from the night before. Yes, the night before. Cause I had to go out after supper and run errands and did NOT feel like cleaning up afterwards. I am soooooo stupid. Stupid, stupid stupid. Where's a fairy godmother when you need one?
**************************
And, now... with my kitchen clean and my blog taken care of, I just have to wait for Mr. F. to get home and take us out to celebrate my First Day at Costco. Good times.
10:47 a.m. I take a seat in the common area, hoping to see one of the five management people I've met thus far.
10:49 a.m. I can't help but wonder if I'm in the right place.
10:53 a.m. No sign of management, no sign of a sign, even. Gah!
10:55 a.m. I really must not be in the right place. See people down the hall. Ask people if they would direct me to the orientation meeting. Down the hall and past the closed door, you say? Why thank you, kind people.
10:56 a.m. Mutter under my breath about incompetent directions and an almost tardy arrival to the orientation.
10:57 a.m. Walk in the door with a smile on my face that doesn't show how much I don't like wearing this collared shirt and my previous irritation with not knowing where to be for something that is rather important.
11:00 a.m. Commence orientation with soon-to-be coworkers; a very nice older woman and a cute (in a clean-cut adorable way) pre-med student.
11:15 a.m. Learn how to properly lift stuff by watching videos of numerous people lifting stuff in exaggerated motion.
11:28 a.m. Learn how to clean up spills of a nefarious nature: chemicals, acids, vomit and all other manner of yuck.
11:42 a.m. It's Freezing in here! I wonder if it would look weird if I put on my coat? I don't want to look like I want to leave or something. Brrrrrr.
11:55 a.m. Really, really cold.
12:08 p.m. Help me. My heartrate is slowing into hibernation mode. Suck it. I'm putting on my coat.
12:11 p.m. Much better.
12:30 p.m. Learn that schedules are posted in military time. Hoo-ah! Secretly hope I don't screw it up. Man, that's a gimormous schedule.
12:34 p.m. Ha ha! Pre-med student is funny!
1:00 p.m. My tummy is growling. I should've had breakfast and normally would have except that I was told that Costco was treating us to lunch and all I could think was "mmmmmmmmmm, Poutine." and do you know how many calories and fat is in Costco Poutine?? At least 5,031,990. Enough to finance the clogging of a minor artery. Enough that I shouldn't even be considering eating it at all. It should not be considered "food".
1:05 p.m. Funny and adorable Pre-Med student orders poutine. SOLD! I'll have mine with a diet Coke, thank you. Cause I'm sensible like that.
1:35 p.m. Get to use the bio-metric retina scanner to clock back in. Kidding. But that would be cool, wouldn't it? Instead, I got to scan a barcode.
1:38 p.m. More safety stuff. Look, we're watching ANOTHER video about how to lift stuff properly. WHMIS, MSDS, HAZCOM, ZZZZZZZ...
2:45 p.m. Huh? What happened? Where am I? ... Ha ha. I'm only kidding. I totally paid attention.
2:47 p.m. I've signed more forms and contracts than an ambassador at a Head of State meeting.
2:48 p.m. What exactly do ambassadors do, anyhow? Sounds like a cushy job... I wonder how one gets hooked up with a gig like that? Ambassador degree? Charm school?
2:49 p.m. Night merch guy has a very interesting beard thing going on. Intriguing.
3:00 p.m. Quick break. Check out schedules for this week and next. Six days in a row and forty hours. Not bad. Double check my military time. Don't screw this up, Flutter.
3:10 p.m. My manager; my entertaining, talky, cool manager takes the floor. Some rules and do's and dont's.
3:15 p.m. Harassment guidelines. Or rather, guidelines to avoid harassment.
3:23 p.m. More forms. For realsies. My signature is by now looking like a wavy line.
3:45 p.m. Glad we're almost done cause my butt is feeling a little square-ish from sitting so long.
3:48 p.m. I wonder if the key will work for the kiddos. Will they remember to go to the neighbors if it doesn't?
3:51 p.m. Man, what if they can't get in the house and the neighbor isn't home and... holy cow it's freezing outside. C'mon. This better end on time.
3:52 p.m. Get a grip. Everything will be fine.
4:00 p.m. OK, entertaining and wonderful manager. We are supposed to be done. I have kids ALONE IN THE HOUSE. OR HUDDLED ON THE PORCH IN -30 DEGREE WEATHER. Well, likely alone in the house, but still... Smile, Flutter. Stay engaged.
4:09 p.m. Please, please, please can we go? Oh, more forms. Sure. I'll scrawl, I mean SIGN those.
4:15 p.m. Done. Finally. Scanny thing again. Oh, how I wish it was a retina scanner.
4:20 p.m. Where the heck did I park and why is it so unbelievably cold out? Rocket better start. The kids! Check cell phone finally. No messages. Breathe easy, I'm sure they're inside and just fine.
4:30 p.m. Home. Kids are inside... not fighting. BONUS!!
4:38 p.m. Survey damage in the kitchen from the night before. Yes, the night before. Cause I had to go out after supper and run errands and did NOT feel like cleaning up afterwards. I am soooooo stupid. Stupid, stupid stupid. Where's a fairy godmother when you need one?
**************************
And, now... with my kitchen clean and my blog taken care of, I just have to wait for Mr. F. to get home and take us out to celebrate my First Day at Costco. Good times.
12.14.2008
Sold to the Highest Bidder.
The past couple months I've been pimping my skills at our paint store. I love helping people design their space and choose colors and I work with some really wonderful people so that's always enjoyable. Tinting paint is just way more fun than I expected, but then I tend to be all silly and "OOOOOHHHH, LOOK AT THAT..." about lots of stuff, so it's no surprise that the swirling and mixing of vibrant colourants into the bases would captivate my little ferret-brain. And, there's always the odd surprise, like when you tint up a green paint, expecting to see a formula with lots of blue and yellow (just like grade five art class, yes???) and find that the only colourants in it are black and yellow. HUH?!?!? Like I said, it's trippy for this little mush head.
We've been working on revamping our store, so there's been a lot of cleaning and sorting to stay on top of. I've crashed the computer system a time or two, switching out components for nicer, newer bits of sleekness. And, in a smashing moment of brilliance, I brought YouTube viewing to all the employees. One small step backwards for productivity but a giant step forward in employee morale, if I do say so, myself.
I had a few other resumes out in the ether of Fluttercity, though... and this weekend I finished up the last in a series of interviews and was offered a position. (Side note: Do you know how difficult it is to be interviewed about past work performance when your last job was EIGHT YEARS AGO??? I seriously would have done just as well to totally Make Stuff Up as to try and remember that crap. Meh.)
Anyhow, as of Wednesday this little Flutter will be working front end at Costco. Part-time. Seasonal.
I know. I KNOW! The career path doesn't get any more long and winding than this. What can I say, I am a slave to the big bucks. No? Errrr... would you believe that I'm a slave to Costco??
Awwww, you guys know me so well.
And if you treat me nice, I just may let you all know whether or not working there is at all like the movie "Employee of the Month". Cause, really, you can't watch that movie and not wonder if there's a poker game going on up in the stacks or forklift races after hours. And you KNOW that I'm on that action like stink on socks. I am your Inside Man. Girl. Whatever.
The next few weeks are going to be a little bit nuts between working two jobs, hitting the gym and keeping the house from falling apart and my kids in clean underwear. But, I think I'm up for the challenge. I mean, it's not often that one gets called upon to make such a significant contribution to society and all. And, when Costco has given so much to me, how can I not give back? That's what I'm talking about.
We've been working on revamping our store, so there's been a lot of cleaning and sorting to stay on top of. I've crashed the computer system a time or two, switching out components for nicer, newer bits of sleekness. And, in a smashing moment of brilliance, I brought YouTube viewing to all the employees. One small step backwards for productivity but a giant step forward in employee morale, if I do say so, myself.
I had a few other resumes out in the ether of Fluttercity, though... and this weekend I finished up the last in a series of interviews and was offered a position. (Side note: Do you know how difficult it is to be interviewed about past work performance when your last job was EIGHT YEARS AGO??? I seriously would have done just as well to totally Make Stuff Up as to try and remember that crap. Meh.)
Anyhow, as of Wednesday this little Flutter will be working front end at Costco. Part-time. Seasonal.
I know. I KNOW! The career path doesn't get any more long and winding than this. What can I say, I am a slave to the big bucks. No? Errrr... would you believe that I'm a slave to Costco??
Awwww, you guys know me so well.
And if you treat me nice, I just may let you all know whether or not working there is at all like the movie "Employee of the Month". Cause, really, you can't watch that movie and not wonder if there's a poker game going on up in the stacks or forklift races after hours. And you KNOW that I'm on that action like stink on socks. I am your Inside Man. Girl. Whatever.
The next few weeks are going to be a little bit nuts between working two jobs, hitting the gym and keeping the house from falling apart and my kids in clean underwear. But, I think I'm up for the challenge. I mean, it's not often that one gets called upon to make such a significant contribution to society and all. And, when Costco has given so much to me, how can I not give back? That's what I'm talking about.
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