Boldly Going Nowhere.

Clown Noses and Butterflies Just For You.

2012-02-02T00:02:00.004-06:00

Can I just say that I totally dig these guys. Such a tenderhearted song. Such great clown noses. And very cool Brit/Irish accents that come through their singing.

Deja Vu

2012-01-28T00:30:00.004-06:00

Who knew parenting could be such a bittersweet endeavour? Not this girl.

It has been 13 and one half years since the Princess made her entrance into this amazing world and changed my life forever. Each year has brought it's own joys and challenges and this last year has been full of remarkable changes, seeing her mature into a lovely young lady. (see photo below... I know, right?!)

She has always been a very sensible girl and never one given to easily crushing on boys or centering her thoughts and life around their stinky boyish ways. And so it was terribly surprising when this past spring she was reunited with a childhood friend and fell hard for him. Their long-distance friendship has grown over the months following that time and the fact is that, well, she truly loves him and he appears to share the same kind of serious feelings for her.

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*record screeching* Oh. My. Gosh. Would anyone have a paper bag they could lend me? I may momentarily be having difficulty breathing.
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OK, calmer, now.

A little.

I'm finding this a very, shall we say, strange territory to traverse as a mama. I wanted to say "alien territory"... but the fact is that it's not at all "alien" to me. Because I found a Love very young as well. In fact, at about the same age as the Princess is now. And walking through all this with her, seeing this all unfold... is the strangest kind of deja vu that one can imagine. The scariest kind. I'm terrified that she will make my same mistakes. Terrified that we as parents will fail her. Not protect her enough. Protect her too much. Terrified that I will parent the girl that I was and not the girl that I have, if you can know what I mean.

We are trying our best to keep things locked down on this whole situation. There are lots of boundaries and conditions and communicating openly -- definitely the distance between our homes helps in that regard, as well as the fact that his parents are also keeping things together on their end in similar fashion. But the fact is that there is so much I cannot control. The heart wants what it wants and I'm not foolish enough to think I can control her heart. I feel that I am walking the fine line between honoring her as a growing young woman and protecting her as my child. Still, I'm so very scared for her. I know that sometimes approaching that precious thing you yearn for ends in broken dreams and a shattered heart. And I will absolutely die inside if I have to see my lil girl hurting like that.

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Bag, please. Thank you.
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I am reminded of some timeless parenting advice... "Just get them through it,". I just hope we can do a good job of that.

Things I Will Always Remember.

2012-01-26T09:56:00.006-06:00

In five more days, our family cabin will belong to another family. My road trip a few days back was one with a purpose. It was time to gather up all our belongings and a few mementos, to get things ready for the new owners. Time to say goodbye.

I've been trying to remind myself this week, when my emotions get the better of me, that the cabin was just a location; that it's the memories that I love and that they get to stay with me. And so, it seems fitting to remember a few things in honor of this very special place.

-- I suppose it's worth mentioning that this cabin remembers me before I can recall time. Because before it was "mine", it was my Dad's childhood place. It was where he brought his high school sweetheart (my soon-to-be Mama) along with his family. And it was where they brought me as a baby. I don't remember those times, but there are pictures of my first stumbling "beach steps", hanging onto my Dad's hand at the water's edge, sitting with my Mum in the sand.

-- Some of my earliest memories there are of being asked to bring up some water for washing dishes. The cabin, in it's earliest incarnation was a three-room shack, no running water. I'm not sure if the women needed the water or if they just wanted to keep the little chatterbox from being underfoot, but I remember feeling pretty important toddling down the path to the beach with the pail in hand, trying to master the "art" of getting the pail full enough by tipping it in the shallow water. No running water also meant an Outhouse, of which I was deathly afraid of in the dusk/dark hours. And so, my Gramma found a pail -- yes, so classy -- young Flutterby got to use a honey pot instead of being swallowed alive by the snakes and monsters that lived in the outhouse at night.

-- The path to the lake is something that has almost taken on sentimental qualities in my memory. Not much more than a sandy path strewn with fallen pinecones (youchies) and wispy grasses and the odd gnarled, exposed tree root, it took great childhood grace to prance and tiptoe through the prickly bits and avoid the roots when one was running down to the beach. A number of times over the years, there was talk of installing paving blocks, etc... and my brother and I would always be adamant... Leave the path as it is. There is a sound that remains in my memory as a distinct "summer" sound, that of barefeet pounding irregularly across the hollow-sounding sandy-packed earth. I love that path.

-- I can't think of the beach without seeing in my mind my late Grandpa's balding head -- it was the view you would see from the cabin patio every afternoon as you looked down to the lake. Grandpa would drag a lawnchair down to the firepit and sit there in the shade, looking out over the water. Eventually his head would droop as he caught his "40 winks". Grandpa wasn't one to "play" with us kids -- not as our kids are used to playing with their grandparents. But the cabin was one place where he was eager to show us a good time. He was always quick to offer to take us boating, fishing, skiing, whatever. And there were certain hot days where we might even convince him to join us swimming. I'll never forget how he always wore his socks in the water -- as a kid I found that so strange. I guess children don't feel the rocks in the shallows the same way as an adult foot does... and there have certainly been times since spent in the water with my little ones, endlessly traversing the rocky shallows looking for special rocks and shells and watching the "perfect dive" that I have thought back my Grandpa and known EXACTLY why he wore socks in the water when swimming with us little ones.

-- Somewhere in my first 4 years, the cabin was added onto, a mad compilation of salvaged wallboard varieties inside and indoor-outdoor carpeting. We now had hot/cold running water and a bathroom with a toilet. My family spent just about every weekend and vacation up there through the summer. As a kid I loved May long weekend when we would go "open up" the cabin. A crush of activity and work and the novelty of the ice-cold lake water. I remember competitions with my brother to see who could bear standing in the cold water the longest. So cold it hurt your bones. I remember as we grew that turned into a competition to see who would be the first to actually swim. Not quite a PolarBearSwim, but the closest thing I've ever experienced!

-- Known as the family rock-hound, I was always on the the search for neat shaped, sparkly treasures. (To this day I am still a huge geek that way, sand is my personal LSD while sunbathing. I can get lost in gazing at that minute silica crystal world, letting it run through my fingers.) As a young kid I had a string of May Long Weekend finds. For about six years running, I would find a tooth in the shallows when exploring out in front of our cabin. A giant cow tooth, complete with roots and all. At the time I just thought it was incredibly neat; perhaps a sign from above that my rock-searching powers were a gift from on high. :) In later years (much later) I realized that there was a much more unpleasant reality, likely involving an old cow carcass washed up into the layers under the sandbed. Nature. *shakes head* It ain't always pretty. My Grandma was ever the encourager of my geeky rock-hounding nature. I think she was much the same as me, and it was she who gave me a box to keep my best finds in. Somewhere along the way, the box was finally discarded...but I do know that it was faithfully protected by her in the years that it counted to my young mind.

-- I can't forget the surety of waking up there in the morning to the sound of a noisy coffee maker percolating and the smooth rolling sound of the patio doors opening and closing as the early rising grandparents started their day amongst the still-slumbering cabin. The sound of the daily newspaper sections rustling and my Grandpa's grumblings. And always, the first thing I would do is peek out the curtained window in our room to see whether it was going to be a "good lake day".

-- Of course, there were also the sounds to fall asleep to. I loved the weekends when there was lots of family and family friends there. It wasn't uncommon for relatives or friends of my grandparents to bring up their camper and join in the fun. Those weekends, us kids fell asleep to the sounds of the fire crackling and card games, raucous laughter and the clink of bottles. Clearly, it wasn't something that was ever out of hand, else I'm sure it would not be a pleasant childhood memory.

-- Storms up at the cabin were something to be in awe of. The thunder could be tremendously loud, shaking the walls of the cabin -- the rain pelting the roof so hard you were sure it was bullets shooting from the sky. And some of the most awe-inspiring lightning shows around happened there over the lake. I can recall a number of nights being woken up by a storm, only to spend the next 45 mins or hour cuddled up in blankets on the couch or out on the porch with my parents, watching some of the most amazing, crackling skies. The smell of a kerosene lantern will likely forever be a "cabin smell" in my memory.

-- The cabin was always synonymous with Scrabble and board games and word games. There was no TV and radio reception was even sketchy that far up north. I was introduced to Word Searches by my Great Grandma who patiently sat with me as we would work out page after page on rainy days. My Grandma was the reining queen of Scrabble, ever patient and humoring when we were young and attempting to play the game with her, I remember the excitement when I grew old enough and realized that I was actually challenging her when we would play. Sadly, we also in later years saw her decline, when she couldn't play that game with the same finesse as in earlier years. It was Grandma who was also the queen of the rainy day. Solitaire, card games, homemade play-doh, mindless crafts... she would pull out the stops in her simple way to keep us busy and occupied for at least some of the day.

-- Kids screaming, trying to shake a leach off. Bad sun-burns and Noxzema cooling cream at night. Minor injuries and gaffes involving fish hooks and jumping when you should have ducked. My little brother howling cause he got stuck trying to climb through the space in a chair back and couldn't get out. Me getting seriously worried cause I told my little friend to sit in the sand pail and she sunk in and was horribly stuck, bawling her head off.

-- Learning to ski, my Grandpa and Dad patiently making the attempt over and over... my water-hating Mum standing waist-deep, holding us steady for take-off (a labor of love if I ever saw one!). My Grandpa, so eager was he to see us kids skiing, that we got paid a dime for every try and a quarter each time we got up out of the water and made progress. I remember it seemed hard... but once we caught on, we never looked back. Calm, hot days were spent tearing back and forth across the lake and I have so many great memories goofing off with my brother tandem skiing and learning a trick or two on the kneeboard, competing to see who could get the best air off the wake. I especially loved the hour or two after supper when the water would often be like a sheet of glass and Mom would shoo us off as soon as we had waited long enough after eating. Dad would grab the boat keys and us kids would run to get our gear together.

-- Growing older and bringing friends with us for the weekend. So much fun. Summers that seemed to never end. Evenings spent laughing til we almost peed our pants and days enjoying the sun. Sitting under the stars for hours with someone who made my heart pound like crazy. Nasty dishtowel-snapping fights with friends in the kitchen and music cranked up as loud as we could get away with.

-- All of that was wonderful, but nothing was really so great as bringing my first little one up there. I now have those same pictures of her toddling up on the sand, carefully holding onto her daddy's hand. It's been a huge joy to share my childhood place with them, to see them enjoy and love the very same experiences that I did, each in their own unique ways. My little girl/waterbug... so much like me. A little geeky rock-hound who needs to be dragged out of the water, even when she's blue and covered in goose-bumps. And my little action-man... building, digging, rock-throwing (just don't throw "Sissy's rocks"!!) never stop Nitro. The one who likes the water, but only if someone's in there with him. The Princess will tiptoe across the prickly path, attempting to keep her feet untouched by splinters and thorns. The Kid runs barefoot through the underbrush. They loved sharing a room there and often would talk and giggle way beyond the time when they should have been sleeping, even from a young age. The Princess who surprisingly loved to go fishing even though she hated that a fish got hurt because of it. And the Kid, who could only stand the wait because he knew in the end he got to clobber a fish over the head and then cut it open with Papa.

I am so sad as I realize that our time up at that cabin is done. But I am thankful for the time that I did have, for the weight of a thousand memories in my heart and mostly, for a family that knows how to make memories like that.

This.

2012-01-24T10:05:00.003-06:00

I don't often do road trips on my own -- but is it wrong to admit how much I enjoy them? There's just something wonderful and liberating about setting your own course and all the freedoms that come along with doing that... BY YOURSELF. It's the small things like only having to stop for bathroom breaks when YOU need to, or cranking the music as loud as you'd like... or, even having it as silent as you like (oh my, THAT's something that doesn't happen much when you travel with kids.).

Yeah, at the risk of sounding like a selfish mama... I totally enjoyed tackling this stretch of road on my own. I perfected my urban hip-hop-krunk moves -- no small feat when in the driver's seat. I reached new heights of ridiculous, sing-along fun and generally followed my every whim across all 200 XM music stations and 800 kms. :) A little bit of mellow, a little bit of party up in here, a little bit of metal, worship, funk, 80s... whatever my little heart desired. Loved the "Good Feeling" vibe, the classic sound of Usher's "My Boo"...

And I definitely can say that this woman can do no wrong. This song got a ton of airplay over a number of the presets I was rotating through and I never tired of hearing her amazing voice. Such an evocative presence and crafting in her songs... one of those artists who leaves you breathless and filled with the emotion she wrings from every verse, every word.

Stranger and Strangerer.

2012-01-20T00:29:00.004-06:00

What the crappity crap is that!?!? I totally heard something weird that afternoon, too. It didn't last long and I kinda just figured my ears were playing with my brain, or it was the super big drop in temperature that occurred that night... anyhow, didn't think any more about it until a couple of my friends popped up a status on Facebook about it, along with some of these links.

Oh my word. Toooo crazy.

Most people think it has something to do with the tectonic plates of the earth shifting and the hum resonates up through the earth's crust. I'm curious to see whether their predictions of an earthquake in the next few weeks is accurate. And of course, there is a lot of religious speculation. I don't know. While it is certainly an awe-inspiring event and notable that it has been heard at many locations around the world, I'm kinda skeptical (WHO??? MEEEE??!? lol)... mostly cause I kinda think that any sort of trumpet sound would be something that each individual person would hear. Not just pockets here and there. And while I'm digging my hole in the fundamental soil of Christian beliefs, I'll also just say that I would lean towards thinking that the timing is all wrong (cause yeah, I have an opinion about that) and that it will be the sound of a shofar and not some eerie War of the Worlds soundtrack. Just saying.

And... NAILED THAT LANDING on the "crazy" side of religious blog talk. A first for Flutterby. Mark it in your journals, people. *grin*

Anyhow, yeah... weird sounds. And very interesting to see people I know who have no belief system to speak of get all spooked and instantly start talking either Bible or Aliens. Much as everyone likes to rely on their intellect as the god of the age, when things get squicky, the fact that we are spiritual beings becomes evident pretty quick.

What do you think? Heard of this in your part of the country?

Got Random? Heck yes.

2012-01-10T18:49:00.004-06:00

Holy nice winter, Batman! I simply can't tell you how much I am actually ENJOYING winter this year. Moderate snowfall and incredible, warm temperatures (-10 degrees C or warmer) have kept a smile on my face for most of this winter. I don't know if it's just a weird slice of Winter Anomaly, or if there's actually a reason for it... but I welcome it with open arms. Come to mama, baby Winter... I will make you feel right at home here while I, oh yes... BBQ steak on my deck. In a hoody. That's right. Cause that's how we roll around here.

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We also Zumba around here. Or approximate the general movements that are called "Zumba". Cause, frankly, we're not good, yet! The Princess and I scored the Zumba Fitness Wii game and have been shakin our booties whenever we have a chance! Who knew that flailing oneself around while trying to imitate great latin dance moves would be so much fun? I didn't. Score One for Zumba.

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Over the holiday season we took the kids snowboarding. They took home some great experiences and memories, one injured wrist and maybe even a skill or two. What we didn't count on bringing home was one case of head lice from the rental helmets. To make matters worse, it was my Princess with her luxurious long tresses who was the new home to these pests.

No word of a lie... this has been HOURS of work for me. Cleaning, washing, treating and combing. Oh my gosh, the COMBING. We have never had lice in this family before and I was super paranoid about it. It's been over two weeks and I still am checking her regularly. JUST IN CASE! *eye twitch* Thankfully nothing spread to any of us... cause I swear I probably would've gone all GI Jane if even one little louse decided to move onto my head.

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I am giving some thought to checking out our province's Homeschool Conference this year. I'm definitely in the homeschool game for at least another year and need to add some Canadian content to next grade's North American focus (cause, while I love all my American friends and all, I do need to teach the Kid a few things about his own country). With any luck I can check out some retailers and get that all sewn up. And, it sure doesn't hurt that my lovely sis-in-law and I can use it for an excuse to get together for some girl-time!

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My laptop may very well be hashed. I'm bringing it to a friend for one last Hail Mary try at bringing it back... but I just have this sad feeling when I look at it. It's like it's just a shell. *sad tears* It's soul has departed, I just know it. LOL I don't know for sure what did it, but I think it has a lot to do with the Princess' habit of leaving it running while it's laying on top of her bed/quilts. I think it's been cooked. And I'm just a little bit steamed.

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I'm taking a few tentative steps towards the edge of the Derby Retirement Cliff. I really think that this may be my last season. At least, I'm trying that sentence out in my head. Sometimes it sounds better than others.

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This house is now on it's way to being a Gluten Free Zone. I've suspected for a while that the Kid has some troubles with gluten... so I guess we'll see just how much it helps him to get rid of the stuff. I can't believe just how big a change it all is. And how expensive gluten-free products are. I'm definitely gonna have to find some extra time to be all Martha Stewart up in here if gluten-free is gonna be a permanent change for us, cause I refuse to spend that kind of money on teeny-tiny loaves of bread, etc.

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On a more serious note, there's been a lot of changes in my little world this past year. I've been amazed at how life goes on even when your heart is breaking. And how life, well, it's still good -- even when there is pain or grief. I've seen people I love come out of some tough, hard places. I want to think that the worst is over. I pray it is. I hope that 2012 is a really, really good year. God knows we all could use one of those. And as it all unfolds, I'm thankful for BBQ steak and Zumba and fun times and all those things that make up Life in between the heartachey bits.

Seriously?

2012-01-07T23:28:00.003-06:00

Is it normal for a family doctor to go on holidays for a whole month, leaving his office closed, with no forwarding care or contact for test results? Unbelievable.

Apparently, for my doctor, this is entirely normal and OK. Apparently it's only OCD headcases like myself who are eager to find out if whatever the heck is going on inside of them is a simple matter of OkelyDokelyAllBetter or a more serious matter of HolyCrapNotGood.

Three more weeks and then I can get my results/treatment and my doc can get a piece of my mind.

What is the sound of one person drowning in busyness?

2011-12-21T15:27:00.002-06:00

Not sure, but I'm pretty sure it sounds something like "GAKBERFLOOBURRRGGGGHHZZZZzzzzzzzzzz"

Just sayin.

My family is celebrating the first few days of Chanukah and getting ready to travel to my parents to hang with them over the Christmas holidays. It's slightly strange being a bi-holiday family. Even though we don't (as a nuclear family) observe Christmas traditions, the time spent with my parents sharing in their celebration kind of sticks us in a weird Chrismukah limbo.

We head out on the road tomorrow and I still have some gifts to wrap, laundry to do, a staff celebration to get ready for and cookies to bake. And yet, here I am, on the laptop, blogging.

Painful Irony.

OK, so it's not irony at all. Just straight-up procrastination. *sigh*

I wish you all a great holiday season, no matter WHICH holiday you celebrate. Enjoy your families and make some memories!

Honestly?

2011-12-06T17:47:00.003-06:00

So the other day, I pop into our place of business to drop an item off and I happen to see a man approaching someone in the parking lot. It appears that he's asking for money and it appears that the other man politely turns him down.

I meet with my client and finish my errand. Admittedly I am hoping that this solicitous individual is not in the parking lot as I exit the store. He isn't and I breathe a little easier. However... As I continue my way a block or two over to the bookstore I am going to next, I see that he is now in that parking lot and I see him again approach people in the lot. I duck in the doors and am about 15 minutes into my browsing when he is there in the aisle in front of me.

He is polite.

He is also drunk. His every word washes me with the smell of alcohol and I have a hard time deciphering his speech.

His story? He is from out of town and his car (with his wife, 5 kids and a baby in it, no less) is stuck on the side of the highway, out of gas. If I just had some cash to give him, he could get some gas and get his family safely home to a town about 40 mins away.

Now, I'm not heartless and if I believed for one second that this man had helpless children stranded on the road in cold winter weather, I would not hesitate to help. What did I do? I told him I didn't have any cash (I didn't) and I offered to help him call a gas station to bring him out enough gas to get him into the city. I guess that wasn't what he was looking for as he shrugged his shoulders and turned away.

This whole situation plagued me as I drove home and I replayed it in my mind. I treated him well -- which I should have. He is a human being and deserves being treated with dignity. But I guess what bothers me is this notion: dignity is honored by honesty. And I wasn't honest. For the sake of politeness I bought into his ruse and played along. I played his own game if you will... (and won, I might add... apparently no inebriated brain is a match against this specimen of a thinking machine. lol) but what I really wanted to do is be honest. To say "Buddy. Really? I can tell you are drunk and I'm having a hard time believing your story at all. You need to leave this store and quit lying to people to get what you want."

It wasn't so much about this particular situation as it is how I often -- in so many areas of my life -- sacrifice being honest about what I think (Keeping it Real, if you will) for being uber-diplomatic and ingratiating.

But then, maybe I'm just over-analyzing. I have a tendency to do that, too. :) How honest are you with people trying to scam you?

Life Is Good.

2011-11-24T14:47:00.003-06:00

Just a few things I'm thankful for:

After a short dip into Arctic winter temps (-30C), I am happily enjoying the weather this week. Snow is even melting and the sun has been shining -- always a nice pick-me-up!

450 photo prints. I sorted through about one half of the photos uploaded on my desktop -- close to 2000 in all, and got about 450 photos to look through. Call me old-fashioned but there's something extra awesome about actual photo albums. I've loved the trip down memory lane looking at pics of my kiddos and family times. And, BONUS! I even got some collage frames set up and hung on the walls. Makes me smile whenever I see them!

Good times with family. Spent a lovely weekend with my in-laws last weekend, and today am expecting my parents to show up for a visit.

Homeschooling. It has been a pretty unexpected blessing just how much I enjoy my time with The Kid. Obviously, it's not without it's ups and downs, but I really do love teaching him, love the things we are learning (I swear I'm even getting smarter!) and love all the great memories I'm making with him. At times I wish the Princess would jump on board, but all is good for the time being with her at school.

Great kids. Did I mention how terrific these guys are?

A clean basement. Oh yes. It took a lot of effort, but everything is sorted and cleaned. I rearranged pretty much every bit of space down there and I can't believe the difference it makes. I almost like heading down to the "dungeon", now.

Custom Build Skate orders. Which are flying in faster than I know what to do with them. And makes just one more reason why I'm extra happy about the Dungeon being cleaned up. Gonna be spending a lot of time down there this week.

Good coffee. Which I am going to make right meow. Have a great weekend, everyone!

One More Game.

2011-11-15T13:26:00.003-06:00

Derby road trip was great fun. I haven't embarked on a trip like that for almost a whole year, and it was definitely fun.

I've concluded that Derby is very much an addiction for me. It's not really that good for me -- my body is aching and so very sore. The possibility of totally breaking myself at play is always very real (knock on wood). It takes up a goodly amount of my spare time in the week, whether training, practicing or helping on committees -- time I would sometimes very much like back. I'm even sometimes on the fence about how entitled I should be to having this very involved "interest" outside my family (maybe something for a deeper post another time).

...BUT...

Oh man, the excitement of the days leading up to a game, the crazy team camaraderie, the jacked up pure adrenaline thrill of the game, the crowd loving it, even feeling all the bruises and scrapes afterwards... I'm hooked. Just when I start envisioning my life without the extra commitments and aches and drama... I get a good solid hit of pure derby high and I'm hooked in all over again. What was I thinking? Live without derby? How could I choose to never play again? Never skate again?

And this weekend was no different. The game was a close battle. The lead tipped back and forth a few times and in the end our team was edged out by a fairly close margin. The crowd was amped and in Turn 4 there were a few utterly RABID fans which was a first for me. Their, shall we say, "enthusiasm" for the home team led them to hurl insults at us whenever we would take out their jammer... I got called a few colorful names. After I got over my girly shock, it actually fired me up cause when the home crowd HATES you, it probably means you're doing something right!

Despite the tense battle and the tempers which flashed on the track, it was all good when the final whistle blew. And in true derby style, we followed up 90 minutes of on-track battle with a four hour dance marathon afterwards.

All in all, it was a great weekend. And while I still battle with the question of just how much longer I will play derby, at this moment it appears that the answer is, as always, still "One More Game."

Preparation. Random thoughts

2011-11-11T22:08:00.005-06:00

It's game day tomorrow.

Time to clean my skates, pack my gear. Get my "skate First-Aid" kit ready. Pack for the road, fill the car with gas, wash my car.

Have a Dairy Queen Blizzard.

???

Ummm, yeah. Something about replenishing the glycogen stores in the liver. I swear.

I leave tomorrow morning for a city about four hour's drive from home. With three rowdy, awesome passengers in my car, I am fully planning to enjoy my weekend. I love this game more and more each time I get to play it.

There may be a win. There may be karaoke. There may be a trainwreck of a morning after when I wake up to feel every bruise, scrape and aching muscle. And I will love every minute of it. Even if we lose.

But more if we win!

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Today was Remembrance Day. My thoughts fell many times to the sacrifices made by young men and women, to provide the many freedoms and benefits that I experience, today. I was startled by the realization that the only people that I personally know -- have contact with -- who are serving in the military at present are women. I thought that interesting.

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Today was also my birthday. I am now on the downhill slide to "40". Sometimes I must admit that I fell utterly scared by my age. I fear growing older... that it mean that my parents and those I love are growing older. My kids are growing older.

Such a simple fact of life. And one that's easy to ignore when you are in the "prime" of youth or in those busy, all-consuming years of young parenthood, I suppose. I don't want to grow old.

On the other hand. 36 isn't all that bad. And as my grandpa would say, it's much better than the alternative.

Checking out the Titanic

2011-11-08T23:48:00.004-06:00

Our local Science Centre is hosting a special Titanic exhibit. The Kid has had a long interest in this ill-fated voyage and the ship. We've read a few books on the topic and even done a fun project or two; so when we heard of the exhibit, we definitely wanted to take it in.

Cue my surprise and displeasure to arrive at the venue only to find that while the admission to the Science Centre is $6 as expected... admission to the Exhibit? $20 for me and $15 for The Kid. Gak!! Cough!!! Wheeze!

Not wanting to disappoint and deny my kiddo the chance to be ENRICHED and EDUCATED and ENGAGED and EXCITED (and I'm sure a whole bunch of other "E" words) I ponied up the money and off we went with our little handy recorded tour guide thingey. (which was NOT loud, at all, you had to hold it right up to your ear... and we only had the one between the two of us. And after the first few times crouched down to crush this device between our skulls, we realized it was basically just reading out what was on the wall placards... sheesh...)

I won't lie. The exhibit was very unique. It was cool to see some actual items and artifacts recovered from the sunken vessel. We learned things. Stuff.

But it sure wasn't worth $35.

Color me jaded.

Just stuff and stuff.

2011-11-07T14:56:00.002-06:00

Fever + Tiny, itchy, spotted rash = Something Not Awesome.

Really, I feel pretty good today, all considered. A little bit draggy and tired, I guess... but nothing that stopped me from getting through school with my boy. (although I may admit to a being a tad bit on the grumbly side...)

Not sure whether this merits a visit to a medi-clinic and the three hour wait which is included gratis with the experience...

So, my plan at the moment is to spend a relaxing evening tracking our provincial election results with my boy and family. Off to print a list of constituencies to graph results for!

The ABC's of Me

2011-11-06T14:44:00.003-06:00

A. Age: 35 (for at least a few more days...)
B. Best Friend: I'm lucky to have lots of close friends and family members and a BFF in one of my oldest friends, JW.
C. Chore That You Hate: Weeding anything. Lawn, garden, flower beds, whatever. Hate it.
D. Dogs: My little "scrat", Goldie.
E. Essential Start To Your Day: Shower. Kid Hugs.
F. Favorite Color: Shades of green make me happy.
G. Gold or Silver: Silver.
H. Height: 5'6"I. Instruments You Play: Piano/keyboard. And a brief messing around behind a drum kit for a few months.
J. Job Title: Homeschool Mum, Business Owner.
K. Kids: Two of the best!!
L. Live: The Frozen North.
M. Mother's Name: "Mum" or "Mama"
N. Nicknames: "Punky" when I was a girl.
O. Overnight Hospital Stays: Tonsils, babies, kids' surgeries.
P. Pet Peeve: Friends who disappear from your life without explanation.
Q. Quote From A Movie: "Well I guess it all started the first time I went through the second grade. I caught my reflection in a spoon while I was eating my cereal, and I remember thinking "wow, you're ridiculously good looking, maybe you could do that for a career."R. Right or Left Handed: RightS. Siblings: Younger brother T. Time You Wake Up: 7ish. Sometimes later. Never earlier if I can help it. :P
U. Ultimate Vacation: Seeing any part of this wonderful world. Greece and Italy are high on my list!
V. Vegetable You Hate: Kale. W. What Makes You Run Late: I am... errr... *ahem* NEVER late. That's my story and I'm sticking to it! X. X-Rays You've Had: Head, Neck, Knee (multiple)
Y. Yummy Food You Make: I do up some good pasta with artichokes, mushrooms and chicken in white wine cream sauce. Oh, and a rip-off of Chili's Chocolate Chip Paradise Pie which KILLS IT!!! Sooooooo good!
Z. Zoo Animal: Meerkats and penguins.

DAYS 20, 21, 22, 23, 24

2011-03-26T20:16:00.003-06:00

Day 20 -- A song that you listen to when you're angry. I plead the fifth on this one. I can't say that I have a particular ANGRY THEME SONG. If anything I just listen to whatever music is on louder than usual. :)

Day 21 -- A song you listen to when you're happy.

Sugarland -- Stuck Like Glue
This is just the happiest song... bouncy and fun and the video is one bizarre, wacky joyride that cracks me up. Yeah, I'd listen to this when I'm happy.

Day 22 -- A song you listen to when you're sad.

The Who -- Love Reign O'er Me
This song crashes through the walls of my heart; the lyrics, the vocals, the arrangement... everything touches something deep and sad in me.

Day 23 -- A song you want at your wedding.

OK Go -- Here It Goes Again
Hahaha... sad little attempt at humor. Was gonna pick GnRs "I Used to Love Her, But I Had to Kill Her" but then realized that would be playing at Mr.Fs next wedding... lol Also am gonna mention that the whole treadmill video fascinates me. I can't believe no one fell -- would love to see the outtakes/bloopers!!

Day 24 -- A song you want at your funeral.

Semisonic -- Closing Time
This was a little bit tongue-in-cheek as well, but I kinda like some of the allegory that can be drawn from this song.

DAYS 15, 16, 17, 18, 19

2011-03-23T23:07:00.002-06:00

DAY 15 -- A song that describes you.

Jann Arden -- Good Mother
I think that growing up is a lot about realizing who you are and recognizing the people who are a part of you. I am thankful -- so very thankful -- for my family.

DAY 16 -- A song you used to love but now hate.

Phil Collins -- A Groovy Kind of Love
Again with the "hating". I'm not much of a hater. I'm more of a lover. *big, cheesy wink* Back in Grade 7 (which I'd like to think wasn't just ALL that much "back", now, was it??) I heard this song every morning and afternoon whilst traveling on the school bus. My pre-teen self ate up all the ooey-gooey sentiment like it was a chocolate sundae with extra chocolately chocolate syrup and sprinkles. I can't say I hate it now... it's a sweet little song in it's own way. Just not my cup of tea.

DAY 17 -- A song you hear a lot on the radio.

Bruno Mars -- Grenade
Seems like whenever I turn on the radio, this one is getting a lot of play time. The kid has a nice tone.

DAY 18 -- A song you wish you heard on the radio.

Revive -- Blink
Just cause I really don't think it could hurt anyone to be reminded during their day of the things that really matter in life. Slow down. Breathe. Love.

DAY 19 -- A song from your favorite album.

I can't embed this one, so please click here if you want to check it out on You Tube.
Justin Nozuka -- After Tonight
I'm kinda cheating, cause this is actually from a Juno Awards compilation album. Not sure if that can be considered an "album" per se... but it's one that I pop in my CD player a lot. I just totally love this kid's voice and the easy vibe in this song. Like falling, baby.

DAY 11, 12, 13, 14

2011-03-14T23:48:00.002-06:00

Day 11 -- A song from your favorite band.

Bon Jovi -- Who Says You Can't Go Home.
I never considered myself a "favorite band" type of person -- I really like EVERYTHING just too much to settle on one band, you know? But as I thought about what "favorite" meant. I realized that there was a band that I've pretty much liked whatever they've done, whether solid rock numbers or soft ballads or a bit of urban cowboy flavor. I know most of their songs. I guess they are my favorite band... or at least one of them. :)

Day 12 -- A song from a band you hate.
Jonas Brothers. I'm not even gonna post a song here. I feel really, really mean. Like, a giant, big MEANY. They are kids... or mostly kids. I'm being harsh. But I just can't listen to them without wanting to scrape out my eardrums with a sharp utensil.

Day 13 -- A song that is your guilty pleasure.

Earth, Wind and Fire -- Boogie Wonderland
Do I really WANT people to know that disco in my kitchen? Nope. But I do. And this is likely the song that I'll do it to. Cause it makes me super happy and, come on... that song has some serious groove, people. I dare you not to move!

Day 14 -- A song no one would expect you to love.

August Burns Red -- Meddler
Yes, I am a closet metalcore lover. But with one caveat. I only listen to the subgroup "Christian" metalcore. Just cause I can't understand ALL the words doesn't mean I want to listen to songs about stomping on baby kittens or whatever. Anyway... this song is one of my absolute favorites. It's like a high for my ears... soaring riffs, ripping guitar, crisp drumming. Love, love, love it. And I imagine that that might surprise you. Maybe. Maybe not.

Life Interrupted.

2011-03-14T23:37:00.002-06:00

These past few days have brought a shocking bit of news to our lives and we are struggling to make sense and formulate a plan for moving forward. Sadly it involves a dear family member's health, and, while I don't feel at liberty to share details, I will ask those of you who remember my sis-in-law from her days commenting on The Fantastic Spastic under the name "UberFanSis" to please keep her and her little family in your prayers.

Thank you all... so very much.

DAY 08, 09, 10

2011-03-10T13:11:00.004-06:00

Day 08 -- A song you know all the words to.

Barenaked Ladies -- One Week
OK, so maybe this is just a little bragaliciousness, cause there's a lot of tricky words in this song! However, I do know them all -- that's not to say I don't get a little tongue-tied singing along at times! I think this is a super-crafty song... also totally am crushing on Ed Robertson. There pretty much isn't anything this guy can't do.

Day 09 -- A song you can dance to.

Duck Sauce -- Barbara Streisand
This was such a hard category to pick just one song. My other option was Pitbull's "I Know You Want Me" Calle Ocho remix, of which the video makes me want to cease to exist and fall into a deep, dark fit of self-loathing and body-image regression, if you know what I mean. Anyway, this sweet gem of a track was one of the last songs that I had a blast dancing to and therefore was accorded this (dubious) honor of being included in my 30 days. Wooooooo hoooooooooo ooooooo oooooh. Barbara Streisand.

Day 10 -- A song that could put you to sleep.

Fleetwood Mac -- Albatross
I came across this beautiful number some time ago when trying to search out a lingering memory. (insert rabbit trail...) Over 15 years ago, I was part of an impromptu talent show at the college I was attending. Myself and a beautiful neighboring dorm-mate grabbed a Judy Collins songbook and were immediately enraptured with the rambling lyrics of a song called "Albatross". We had never heard the original recording and, instead, crafted an over-the-top theatrical version, not unlike Queen's "Bohemian Rhapsody", if by "Bohemian Rhapsody" I mean a vocal duet with vexing solo piano accompaniment. Anyhow, our goth get-up and rousing performance gained us some audience favor and it was this song that crossed my mind and I attempted to track down just what it *should have* sounded like (This just in... We killed it. But also made it a gazillion times better. Trust.). Anyhow, first entering "Albatross" in the youtube search engine yielded Fleetwood Mac's instrumental and I love it. The bass/toms create a beautiful thrumming heart-beat while the cymbal mallets remind me of the ocean waves. And the guitar and steel-guitar live in this otherwordly space, just floating on top of all that luscious sound. Definitely a song that conjures up visions of afternoon siestas and drifting off to dreamland.

DAY 06/07

2011-03-07T09:24:00.003-06:00

Day 06 -- A song that reminds you of somewhere.

Jeff Healey -- Angel Eyes
This song takes me back to an early summer night grad rehearsal -- not my own grad, I was someone's escort. After running through the Grand March stuff (and really, is that still done at grads? Or am I a relic of time, already?) this song was cued up for a quick run through of how the first dance would fit in. I was a very sheltered 14 year old kid and really did not know how to dance with a partner at all, something which was quite apparent!! I was, however, still really thrilled to be there.

Day 07 -- A song that reminds you of a certain event.

AC/DC -- Thunderstruck
This song immediately takes me back to my own high school gymnasium. But not nearly such a nice occasion as grad and here I am not swathed in a poufy sapphire-blue satin dress. Try a Maui & Sons T and some old gym shorts for the (drumroll of death, please) "16 minute run" fitness benchmark. I forget how many times we had to complete this test in the course of Grade 11 Phys Ed but every. single. time. our teacher brought out the sound system and cranked this song (along with some Judas Priest and Metallica). And while my love of old metal is decidedly strong, my love of running is not. In fact, I think that this fitness test was the sole reason that I opted not to take Phys Ed in Grade 12. Going through the next period's class feeling hot and sweaty and messed up was a special kind of punishment for a 16 year old girl, beyond the discomfort of running pointless laps.

DAYS 04/05

2011-03-05T23:53:00.003-06:00

Day 04 -- A song that makes you sad.

Mad World -- Gary Jules
Oh gosh... from the existential lyrics to the haunting melodies and spare production, this song is a beautiful, big, DOWNER. That doesn't mean I don't appreciate or like it, just that it actually truly affects my mood. There are plenty of other more "sad" songs out there; heartbreaking, cryin', lovin', leavin' songs that evoke so much emotion. But when it comes down to a song that literally "makes me feel sad"... this is it. Hands down.

Day 05 -- A song that reminds me of someone.

Coat of Many Colors -- Dolly Parton
I have so many great memories of my childhood, but some of my favorites are times spent listening to my Mom take a break from her day. She'd grab her guitar and a coffee and likely a smoke and soon I'd hear the sounds of her lovely playing and singing and inevitably drift on over to play with my toys close around her. As a young child, I didn't grasp the picture of poverty painted in these lyrics, but the love of a mother creating something for her child stayed with me. And whenever I hear this song, I think of my young Mom and how she enjoyed creating music.

30 Days of Music Videos

2011-03-03T18:47:00.002-06:00

I'm doing this on Facebook and thought I'd cross post to my blog. But... because I'm pretty certain my blog might just blow a synapse over me actually posting daily, I may compile a couple days to a post. And, with any luck, I might actually post some *real* stuff in between.

But, if nothing else, y'all will get a chance to mock my musical taste and maybe even learn a little bit about me. FUN! Feel free to snag this idea for your blog, too (and let me know if you do so I can come by and comment!).

So, without further ado.

DAY 01 -- My favorite song.

There's a lot of songs that I could probably label as "my favorite". And probably, when I think of it longer, I'll facepalm over choosing an Eminem song, especially one from a motion picture soundtrack.

The first time I heard this song was when I started training Krav. I was trying to shed this "Mommy-person" that had excluded everything real and genuine about me and it was the hours of sweating, screaming, cussing, kicking, slamming, gouging and punching that drove me inside myself. Lose Yourself was one of the songs that got a lot of play during warmups and somehow, in my head and heart, it's become synonymous with conquering crap in your life and kicking butt. And still, today, if I gotta get psyched up for something; derby bout, job interview, whatever... it's often one of the songs that I search out on my iPod.

And, it's entirely possible that I once was one of a two-man karaoke posse that threw up hoods and got buck to it in a faraway city, some time ago. Peace out.

DAY 02 - A song I hate.

I really don't like to be negative about music. I'm certainly not any kind of a music snob, as will be evident by the 30 selections you'll see over the course of this little game.

I like Ricky Martin -- in fact, I should mention that as a ten year old girl, I managed to score a Menudo poster and it should be said that I peeked at it every night before I went to sleep, in hopes that his young self would show up in my dreams. Yes, I know. We were separated not only by a country, a language, and a shameful age disparity, but also a sexual orientation. Doomed, I tell you. Regardless, I own a couple of his spanish language albums and they have been, at various times, a fun choice when I feel the need to salsa dance around my house while cleaning. Which surprisingly happens a good deal. Sadly, this song does nothing for me.

Outside of the over-ambitious production (hello HORNS!!! SAVE.MY.EARS.) and the rudimentary lyrical choices... the final nail in the coffin was Mr. F's possession of a certain William Hung CD. You know, ThatKidFromAmericanIdolBlessHisHeart? Yeah. And after being forced to listen to She Bangs in that manner, well... I'm sorry, Ricky, I just can't do it anymore.

DAY 03 -- A song that makes me happy.

Again, so many songs I could have chosen here. (Journey's "Don't Stop Believin'" would be next on the list, for sure) But I chose this one for one reason only. The key modulation around the one-minute mark. Pre-chorus/Chorus MAGIC, baby!!! I can't hear this without feeling my heart soar and a smile want to break across my face. Maybe that's silly, but that's how I roll with music.

2011-03-02T00:08:00.001-06:00

GAH!! How does a month go by so quick?

More to come soon.

I think I hear crickets chirping. *chirp* *chirp*

Wanted.

2011-01-31T22:25:00.001-06:00

New brain wanted.

Current model is overly forgetful and spastic.

Business-managing software bundle preferred.

Kinda Blue.

2011-01-12T16:12:00.007-06:00

Last night I had a really nice phone conversation with my grandmother. I have a fear that these opportunities will diminish with time as some dementia seems to be taking over even now; I am reminded to create more opportunities to enjoy her company.

Sometimes I struggle to find things to talk about with her; she gets confused more easily now and doesn't have the same point of reference as people who are a bit more "current" in their thinking. For example, telling her that The Kid just tested for his orange belt in Hapkido doesn't have much meaning for her (and at this point, any explanation of "hapkido" will be lost by the next time we speak). So, for conversation's sake, he's in karate and taking a test. Sometimes I find the editing a bit draining and she struggles to share things about her life -- which is extremely quiet and the same from day to day.

But last night was such a treat. We talked of baking, which she loves/loved to do and she told me stories of her job as a young woman "working out" (something for which my cultural reference doesn't jive -- I'm assuming as a housekeeper/nanny or in a small institution with a kitchen) for people for whom she baked regularly. I told her the things I'd been baking lately for the kids and how I hoped to one day bake breads just as good as she does -- *smile* they really are so good! -- and in true grandmotherly fashion she had loads of encouragement for me. I had to smile as her words made me feel just like a child again... not so much because I was being encouraged, but as how it was clear that in her eyes I was just a child who couldn't expect to have the experience that someone like her who has baked and cooked for years has.

I was so happy for our conversation and yet, as my head hit the pillow and I had time to reflect on my day I found my eyes burning with tears. Sometimes life is just so sad. I hate that my Gramma is alone. And I found myself missing my Grandpa. I'm glad that he didn't suffer long in his passing, but I'm so sad that we never had a chance to say "goodbye". Because there was so much in my heart to say. And I can't help but feel so remorseful and, really... shocked... that I never thought to say it Before. And I feel compelled to not let that happen with my Gramma, too.

Back to the Lab, Again...

2011-01-04T19:30:00.008-06:00

Experiment #1 in the Fantastic Spastic Kitchen aka Mad Spastic Laboratory:

All Natural Lotion Bars

Now, the Mad Spastic has a reputation to uphold. Known for nefarious deeds, smoky explosions, bubbling test tubes and the occasional rip in the time-space continuum; the Mad Spastic Laboratory has never been used for something as docile as health and beauty products. It took some persuading, but the Mad Spastic is nothing if not a REASONABLE diabolical fiend and with a small matter of bribery and a touch of blackmail, agreed to try her hand at the milquetoastey task of creating the perfect skin-moisturizing vehicle.

Grabbing her cauldron *ahem* double boiler she set to work, with the help of one equally diabolical and capable minion.

Diabolical, yes?

First came the eye of newt ... errrrr... beeswax. (4.75oz unbleached beeswax) Melt while stirring. The Mad Spastic heartily recommends using a crappy utensil that you won't mind throwing out later. Perhaps a popsicle stick or plutonium rod. On second thought, just go with the popsicle stick.

Next, the Mad Spastic performed many complex calibrations with highly measure-ey scale-type tools and exacted the precise amount of organic Shea Butter needed. Those of you with eyes in your head will see that it is also in the amount of 4.75 oz.

This also was added to the Cauldron of Death Mwahahahaha... *sigh* Fine. Double Boiler. The Mad Spastic laboured over the steamy mass with the Popsicle Stick of Infamy until all was melted and thoroughly combined.

Pulling together all her fiendish resources, the following ingredients were imparted to the now liquid mass. 5.5oz of Extra Virgin Coconut Oil (from especially lady-like coconuts, the Mad Spastic presumes) of the 76 degree variety. And 20 drops each of Tea Tree Oil and Bergamot Essential Oil. The Mad Spastic heartily recommends standing far back from the Cauldron of Monstrosity whence adding the Tea Tree Oil if you wish to retain your inner nose tissues.

Having completed the arduous tasks involved in melting and stirring and melting and stirring and melting and stirring and... you get the picture... the Mad Spastic now brandished the Turkey Baster of Villainry (which is a far better fate than she has heard befalls SOME turkey basters) and transferred the liquid lotion mixture to the moulding containers -- in this case the Muffin Pans of Silicone and Evil. As with the stirring utensil, don't count on using this one for cooking purposes afterwards, unless you are prepared to work a small miracle in the cleaning department.

The Mad Spastic then sat for a few minutes while planning the overthrow of the world's cosmetics industry while the lotion cooled and set. In the end, the Mad Spastic was terrifically pleased with the outcome, even dastardly villians need soft, lovely skin.

"Homer..."

2010-12-31T16:12:00.002-06:00

So, I've managed to grab myself a piece of the winter-sickness action and have been thoroughly enjoying a nasty cold/flu for the past week and a half. I'm hanging on tight to the notion that viruses usually last 10 days -- for the love of all things holy, could someone please confirm that this is, indeed, the truth?!

I have been reduced to a very un-ladylike state, complete with coughing/hacking issues, more mucous than this body knows how to deal with (no, seriously... I've woken myself up being unable to breathe cause my airway is totally choked up) and all the sundry aches and pains that go along with feeling like a piece of turd. If all this and the red, chapped nose to go along with it wasn't enough indignity for one bout of illness; I also have been blessed with the voice of Marge Simpson to boot.

Clearly I am a mess; the likes of which has not been seen around these parts for awhile. And clearly, I am not above being teased by two smart-arse offspring about my cracking, raspy, cartoonish voice.

The only upside to all this is that I have discovered the Hot Toddy method of sickness management. :) Ten days, people. I'm trying to hang on.

Just wondering...

2010-12-22T00:05:00.002-06:00

If I drink alcohol with my Midol... will that help it kill the industrial-strength cramps my body is cranked out on right now?

Womanhood is for the birds, man.

Me Likey. A lot.

2010-12-18T17:59:00.000-06:00

Just a few things I'm loving the crap out of, lately.

Say MMM.

I'm just beginning to explore this website and enjoy all the features. It takes a little bit of work to get set up, but it is everything I ever DREAMED about finding in terms of menu/kitchen/grocery planning. I'm totally geeked about all the features -- I was literally bouncing in my seat as I watched the demo video. Literally, Every. Single. Thing. that I had ever wished for while sitting and planning menus and grocery lists, etc. was covered. Sweet!!! I'm sure I'll post more about this little gem in the future. Until then, go check it out!

Earth Therapeutics.

Specifically their Cracked Heel Repair product. The all-natural ingredient list caught my eye as I'm always looking for something to treat the Kid's dry skin. He gets painful bumpy rashes on his legs -- really, his whole body at times -- it's like super dry, itchy skin. He's been tested for allergies to no avail; so I just try and find the magic thing that will work. We had been using Burt's Bees hand salve with some success, but this little stick has brought him the most relief. It actually cleared up some of the worst patches within the week and feels nice once applied (Burt's Bees was pretty oily and sticky). The ingredients are completely pure and natural, mostly coconut oil and shea butter along with some other essential oils. It's a bit pricey (especially seeing as we're using it on his whole body, not just "heels" like it was designed for), so I'm going to try and make some of my own this week. I think I should be able to do it no problem... famous last words, maybe??

Air1

I've been loving this little online radio site. XM radio suddenly stopped their online services to clients unless you pay more (BOOOOOO!) and I was left without my online music fix. Thankfully I stumbled on Air 1 and now have something that tops my XM choices for good, positive music. (Cause XM's "The Message" was kinda a little "light" for my tastes, to be honest) Air 1 plays a lot of Christian music, but also some singles you would hear on Top 40 radio, so long as the message is positive and reflects good morals. The playlist does have all the mainstream pop-type Christian acts, but adds enough of the alternative/rock and hard rock genres to keep me tuned in. Go check it out! It's definitely a station I don't mind the kids listening to or having on when people come over.

Bissel Green Steam mop.

Found it. Love it. Wouldn't live without it. Love the easy-push trigger (not like the one I used at a friends' place which made me believe in "Carpal Tunnel") and the super-easy-to-use features. Love the streak-free clean and how easy it is to change cleaning pads. Oh, and did I mention Streak Free Clean? Cause yeah, there's that. I don't have hardwood, per se, but the flooring I do have looks like perfection when I'm done using this. Also, it does not need any cleaners, soaps or chemicals. The steam cleans and disinfects and I love that my floors don't have any icky chemical residue... especially now that we have a little doggy whose favorite past-time is scavenging for crumbs.

Super-Cute Egg Clock

This is clearly just pushing the limits of timepiece cuteness, here. Case in point: it wobbles. WOBBLES, people!! It also changes format -- and incidentally, LED colors -- with just a little pop on it's wobbly little top.

All that would be enough to grant it a spot on my Things I'm Loving The Crap Out Of At The Moment list. But it also has a super handy little feature. A timer. Which, on my cute little Egg is set to a 15 min increment. So, with just a perky tap, tap, tap on the top of this Cutey, I have a timer which helps me get SOOOO much done. Putting something off cause I think it's gonna take FOREVER to do it??? Hit the timer and vow only 15 mins on task before I take a break. Surprise. I'm usually done that "forever" job in 15, or at least on my way to getting it done. Need to motivate the kiddos to finish up something? Why, hello timer!! It's perfect. And it's cute. What more can I say?

All Hail Mr. B.

2010-12-17T11:21:00.004-06:00

Well, the penetrating oil didn't do the trick... I suspect the threads on my tee nut were slightly stripped (Bad, bad Flutterby, I won't do that again!!) and I just couldn't get any kind of grip on the round, flat head of the tee nut to even do any brute force stuff. Which is laughable anyway, when you consider the state of my biceps lately!!

Thankfully, I have a Friend in High Places. A cobbler, actually. And while he may not necessarily think of me as a friend, it remains that I am filled with fuzzy warm feelings when I think of the times he has lent a hand and got me out of headaches with removing clinch nails and the like and thusly... I will think of him as a FRIEND. Cause he helps me. And has tools that I don't have!!! I totally realize that pushes the boundaries of CREEPY... but I don't care as he once again came through for me and within a matter of minutes and the judicious use of a bench grinder, had freed my project from it's tee nut standoff.

HUZZAH!

So, my hat's off to you, Mr. B. Now, back to work!

Excitement! Anticipation!!! PUKING!!!!

2010-12-16T19:20:00.002-06:00

OK, so there's not been puking, just yet. Lots of the other stuff, though.

After a lot of thought (two years on the back burner and a month of deliberation... I think that counts as "a lot") we've decided to pull the Kid out of public school and homeschool. Or, as I'd rather say... educate him at home.

See the difference? I say "homeschool" and people automatically picture, oh gosh, who knows what they picture, but it usually isn't good judging by the looks on their faces and the silly questions they ask. So, I'm finding different ways to say "homeschool". Potato, Potahto, I know... but it's important to me. I'm a smart lady who is more than capable of educating my children -- certainly better than the school system has attempted to with my boy -- and I can't stand being looked at like I've suddenly sprouted buck teeth, a pinafore dress with bonnet and shotgun when this topic comes up.

Anyhow, our curriculum supplies have arrived and I had to clear out two whole bookshelves to make room for the most of it, with more that still needs a home. Can I just say that I am geeked out beyond all belief at the books?! THE BOOKS!!!!! Not textbooks with dry facts and dates and bullet-pointed items to commit to memory, but real, living books with compelling, well-written stories that will engage my little boy's mind in epic points of history. So many award-winners and classic stories. Books for him to read alone and books for me to read aloud. I. Am. So. Excited. :)

The Kid is really excited, too. Not sure that he yet appreciates all the awesome stuff that we will be doing and reading and experiencing, but the prospect of being relieved of the stress and anxiety that school was causing in his life at this point in time, well, it's really been kind of wonderful to see. When he talks of homeschool I see his body get relaxed and he becomes so cheerful. I'm so happy to be able to do this for him, and very glad that we live in a country that allows different modes of education.

I have had brief moments of panic (hence the "puking" in the title) where I've wondered just how I'm going to manage my business while schooling my son, but I think it will work out in the end. There's always a solution to every problem and I'm sure this is not insurmountable.

Fresh Outlook?

2010-12-16T19:04:00.002-06:00

Well, at least it's a fresh look.

After an evening complicated by tee nuts and jack screws misbehaving and a last minute Hail Mary with some penetrating oil which may or may not work... I have some time on my hands. My blog has been badly neglected this past year. Hahahha -- neglected doesn't even begin to describe it! I'm sure if there existed a Blog Protective Services I would be cited on multiple counts of neglect, abandonment and be facing some sort of jail time.

I do want to blog. This little corner of the internet has been a lot of different things to me at different times. Part shrink couch, part diary, part community... I've enjoyed blogging and definitely have enjoyed "meeting" those of you who comment and share your blogs with me.

Things are changing here in my little world, hopefully I'll have some things to write about! (besides derby!)

Is this bad??

2010-10-05T11:31:00.003-06:00

A few months back, I flip-flopped and transformed my 'do from a cocao-black color with a swatch of blonde, to blonde with a stripe of pure black in front. I know, right? *eye roll* I think my hair would boycott me if given half a chance.

Which may have been the case yesterday when I went in to go a few levels lighter into the "Platinum" range and get my roots touched up and walked out of the salon with a completely numb scalp. Now, say that again in a booming announcer-type voice... COMPLETELY NUMB SCALP. No... not NUMBSKULL. Numb Scalp.

Truthfully, when I discovered this fact while driving home from the appt -- the windows were down and I reached up to brush some windblown hair from my forehead and tuck behind my ear -- I will admit I got a wee bit panicky. Because it felt super strange! I mean, until this has happened to you, you can't know how strange it felt -- like I was reaching up and touching a rubber swim cap or a wig or something. Creeped me OUT!

A few phone calls and a Facebook Intervention later, I was relieved to find out that my scalp likely was NOT going to fall off my skull in bloody chunks, nor would the numbness creep down and leave my face inadvertently botoxed like a mannequin. Phew. However, after two showers, four shampoos and an application of a holistic chemical burn treatment and a full 24 hours later... my lil scalp is STILL kinda numbish. I'm taking solace in the fact that it is a bit better than yesterday and hoping that my head can make peace with this process -- cause I REALLY, REALLY love my new platinum shade. *sigh*

Mission Accomplished!

2010-10-03T22:40:00.005-06:00

Flutterby's Weekend To-Do List:

- Eat Cheezies and make insipid That's What She Said jokes with some of the coolest girls I know while geeking out on Regional Derby Tourney games on PPV? DONE.

- When giving yourself a pedicure, discover that skating has trashed your formerly cute little feet? Check.

- Rescue said feet, rock the black toe polish in 5 inch black leather/leopard print/studded heels? DONE.

- Cause your son to question your sanity because he just saw Mom scream at the TV. "HELP YOUR JAMMER!!!!" Yes.

- Continue to watch Regional Derby Tourney and attempt to rope son into watching with you. Checkity Check. Attempt failed. Game rocked anyway.

- Attend league's year-end awards bash, looking as smokin as can be for a 30-something mom. Done.

- Win leagues' "Mother Hen" award. Check.

- Wish it was MVP award (HA!!), but be happy anyway cause it says something good about who you are in the league. DONE!

- Party like it's 1999, dance till my feet are dying and enjoy some karaoke success. DONE!

- Watch mind-blwoing amounts of Regional derby. Lose mind over two of the closest called, hardest-played games ever seen and chew nails to shreds over the last 5 mins of the Championship game. Yep. Yep. and Yep.

- Clean up stock room and plan for completion of two custom skate mounts this week. DONE!

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I consider this To-Do list OWNED, baby! And, also? I think I discovered the secret to feeling very accomplished. Make your to-do list AFTER the fact. It's an automatic 100% completion!!

So Many Choices, So Little Time.

2010-10-01T00:12:00.002-06:00

I have effectively ignored a two-sided TO-DO list for the whole evening. There are important and time-sensitive items on said list; things relating to my business and the kiddo's school and other stuff that I'm sure should occupy my mind more than what actually HAS been utilizing the greater volume of my brain cells.

Call it high-precision procrastination if you will, but my lil head has been sent spinning on a mission of higher calling. For this Saturday, in a mere 30 or so hours, I will be attending a party. A real, fun, grown-up party. Which, in addition to all the things which normally send girly-girls in a flap; like choosing an outfit, shoes, praying for a good hair night, makeup, etc, etc... also involves KARAOKE! Yes!!!! KARAOKE.

It's going to be wildly fun and raucous and I'm really looking forward to it. I'm also stressing about it. Because, "WHAT WILL I SING?" "WILL I REMEMBER THE WORDS??" "WILL THE SONG BE IN MY RANGE???" "WHY AM I SHOUTING QUESTIONS AT MYSELF AND USING EXCESSIVE PUNCTUATION????"

...whatever. You get the picture.

And so tonight finds me youtubing a growing list of Songs I Could Possibly Pull Off and wondering all the while if other people are as ridiculous as I am about this. I've got a short list, and my "Ambitious" song, which I might just try out if the Force is strong with me.

Paranoid -- Garbage
I Wanna be Sedated -- The Ramones
One Week -- BNL

**extra points if you guess which one is my Karaoke Force Song.**

Any suggestions? What are your favorite songs to sing along to?

le sigh

2010-09-25T22:27:00.001-06:00

OK, Blog... let's you and me try this again.

So Random.

2010-06-10T20:39:00.003-06:00

Always a good way to jump back on the blogging train... random fun stuff!

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I can't believe I watched this. Twice. Hey, 3 million viewers can't be wrong, right? Oh, yes they can be. I thank my lil bro for ruining my corneas and any chance that I can ever look at process cheese the same way again.

Warning: This is not for the squeamish. Once seen, you can not erase this from your brain.

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Derby boot camp. One broken tooth. Three torn MCLs. Broken wrist. Thankfully NONE of them were mine. Although I did get a blister on my foot at the 80s Prom Night Dance. :)

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Summer. My kids have been counting down the last days of school. But let me also fill you in on something... I started counting down WAY before they did. My lunch lady gig is coming to an end and I couldn't be happier. Actually, I will be really sad to say goodbye to the kids in my classroom, but I won't be sad at all to no longer have to interrupt the tasks in my day to get to the lunchroom in time. I am looking forward to an awesome summer break with my own kids!

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Mechanic's Hands. Anyone have a remedy for calluses? I'm loving building skates and doing all this rad stuff that I am so excited about. But my fingers are now callused from handling bolt threads and tightening nuts, etc. Me no likey. I'm thinking of getting some of those blue nitrile gloves???? Or should I just embrace the tool jockey inside of me?

Time Flies When You're Not Looking At Boiling Water

2010-04-20T22:33:00.003-06:00

...errr, or something like that.

I see it's been pretty much a month since I've felt the bloggity urge. I'm sure all my three readers are wondering where I've gone to!! lol (And thanks, Cocotte, for the little nudge. It was very sweet.)

I do have stuff to blog about... hopefully I'll have some time in the next little while to bang them out on the keyboard. But, for now... a quick synopsis of The Life of Flutterby.

- My internet business is taking off as planned... slowly but surely and with the appropriate amounts of hiccups and frustrations that one might expect of starting something from the ground, up. I've encountered some really great people along the way. My web developer, for one -- who has gone far beyond the call of duty, and what I'm paying him, to create a great site. Check it out at www.eocskates.com It's a work in progress, so put on your hard hat and don't mind the dust.

- The grommets are doing really well, overall. I'm grateful to have two really enjoyable, funny kids who most of the time make my job pretty easy. We had a small issue over parent-teacher interviews with the Kid, but hopefully there will be some better reports ahead with all of us working together. The Princess just received her first ever Grounding (NO!! You didn't!!! Why yes I did.) today. After heading to a nearby park with friends, she didn't arrive home when expected and, when I went to pick her up? Nowhere to be seen. 5 mins of driving and three phone calls later, I found out she went to her best friend's house to get a drink and they Lost Track Of Time. (and oh, how thankful I am that at this age that phrase really just means what it says!! Be still my Mommy-heart.) Let's just say that she's been on first-rate behavior all night. I have not seen a more pleasant, ingratiating, loving little girl. I should ground her more often.

- I just participated in a two-day derby bootcamp with our league to bring in our Regular Season. It seems like we've waiting six months for this! Wait. It has been six months. Six very. very. very. loooonnnnggg months. We skated for 7 hours each day. Constant pack drills, hitting drills, and scrimmage scenarios. Finished off with a full-on bout after each day. Exhausting. Draining. Painful. And unbelievably, heart-poundingly exciting! I feel like I learned so much. We brought in a Coach from the Terminal City Roller Girls of Vancouver, BC and she was amazing. I'm tending a few bruises from it all and have not been this sore and tender in a long while. Tomorrow is our league's All-Star tryouts... I hope I'm ready!

- I spent last week in Pittsburgh (actually, the rural area around Pittsburgh) working with a remarkable and very generous gentleman. I mentioned previously how I had engineered an apprenticeship with a custom skate builder and it all came to fruition and was definitely a worthwhile experience. I wasn't able to take many pictures. I had packed my camera, but didn't realize that the battery was dead -- and I had forgot to pack the charger for it. So my little cell phone camera took a few snaps and that's it. I'll try to upload them sometimes soon and share.

Wish me luck for tryouts tomorrow! I'll post about the experience when it's all said and done.

Vacation by the Numbers

2010-03-17T12:44:00.003-06:00

6 -- Roller coasters, which really?... involved very little actual "coasting", so what's up with that, people? False advertising is what's up with that. Seemed like a lot of jet-propulsion or warp-speed involved. Maybe that's just me, however.

1 -- Roller coaster that actually made me think I might die.

2 -- the amount of times I thought I might puke.

0 -- the amount of times I did puke.

3 -- the number of times I was asked if I wanted to buy weed at Venice Beach.

1 -- conversation with my kids about what weed is and why Mommy won't be buying any.

2 -- Jam skaters we watched skating in the bowl at Venice Beach.

5 -- packs of Orbit gum. Currently finishing up some Mint Mojito. Luvs it.

4 -- the number of ridiculously expensive, cruddy-tasting meals of questionable quality we had at various theme parks.

6 -- the number of mornings I wished I could grab a Tim's coffee cause the coffee in our hotel sucked rocks.

0 -- the number of Tim Horton's in the state of California.

1 -- excuse for sniffling and tearing throughout the Shamu show. Not sure whether it was the awesome size and majesty of the creatures and their willingness to interact with humankind; or the fact that they were captive in the equivalent of a paddling pool.

347 -- pictures taken.

5 -- breakdowns of a Kid nature; 2 of which made me ponder never taking children on another vacation, EVER. Word.

5 -- the approximate gallonage of ride-water that managed to find it's way to the Princess' and my particular area of the River Raft on Grizzly Mountain. Let me just say that a 4 km hike in water-logged shirt, jeans and panties did not make for a happy Mom. But I kept that all inside, trust that.

2 -- the number of Sea Bands that I ended up buying mid-trip as I wallowed with a ride hangover and children still ready to rumble on all sorts of pukealicious attractions. One for each wrist, baby.

2 -- IHOP pancakes of the Strawberry Cheesecake variety which made me vow everlasting loyalty to all carby breakfast foods.

1 -- stolen iPod from the Princess' bag, which had been stowed under the bed. Still trying to work that one out with the hotel.

4 -- connecting flights; subtotals? 1 ridiculously expensive chocolate bar, four packs of complimentary corn chips and approximately a five hour layover in no-man's land.

1 -- Airport Emergency Door alarm which the Kid set off by opening a door he shouldn't have.

5 -- minutes spent waiting for Airport personnel to arrive on the scene and disarm the (very loud and annoying) alarm while we waited like dutiful citizens who would very much like the ground to open up and swallow them.

1 -- boy who thought he may die or go to jail.

2 -- parents who possibly let him think that for just a moment before we let him off the hook.

*******************************************************
For all this and more, I thank you, Disney Vacation. :)

Other things for which I'm thankful: Pilots who knew not to crash their planes -- always a good thing. Cherry Coke on tap! Hoo-ah! Live music on the streets. Screaming until my eyes watered. Collapsing in giggles with the Princess after the Jurassic Park ride. The Kid letting me hold his hand when we walked down the streets all week cause he was in someplace strange and needed a bit of comfort. Billy Hill and the Hillbillies -- great show that made me laugh and clap so hard. Getting to read THREE books just cause I had time in-flight. Belting out the Indiana Jones theme song with the Princess during our last Indy ride at Disney. Sitting OUTSIDE the Tower of Terror ride waiting for Mr. F and the kids to finish... cause OMG... I couldn't do that ride without puking, I'm certain. Swimming in the OUTDOOR pool knowing that temps are below freezing back at home.

And last but not least, coming home. :)

Flatline.

2010-02-23T14:47:00.003-06:00

It's about time I lowered the standards in this joint and pulled together a disjointed, entirely random post. Lower the curve and all... What? It's already a straight line around here? Huh, how about that?!

**************************************
Once again, I was on the road this weekend bringing derby goodness to a neighboring league. Busy, busy, busy and lots of fun as well. I have to say that I'm not really used to being away from my kiddos this much -- I'm glad that things will settle down shortly, cause it's hard on this Mommy's heart to wipe the tears away from her little guy's eyes the night before she leaves. The logical side of me is all, "He's pulling out the stops, now..." but the softy part of me pretty much was reduced to quivering goo. Which The Kid sensed like a shark within a mile of blood and only made him amp up his assault (sorry, I calls em like I sees em) to record levels of PatheticHeartwrenchingSadness. *sigh*

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I have been a faithful, workout machine for... ummm... err... two weeks, now. I know, right? This was not a good trend for me. Not the new working out trend -- the sitting on my butt trend that preceeded it. Gosh, that trend felt so GOOD at first. Telling myself it was "off-season" and I could eat cookies. (mmmmm....cookies.) But it kinda ended up kicking me in the teeth and making me hate myself for getting a lil bit plushy. Luckily, it's all good and changeable, so change I will.

I've got one of my girlfriends who is on mat. leave coming over in the mornings and we're working out together in my basement. Let me tell you, I am loving these Insanity workouts. Besides being a terrific workout plan that is whipping me back into shape, the trainer is totally jacked and says the most awesome things. Like, when at the end of the workout everyone is dying and crumpling to the floor in a pukey heap (including him) he says, THIS SH*# IS BANANAS, YO. Best. Workout. Line. Ever.

**************************************
Last night I finally had the chance to observe the Kid at his Hapkido class and I loved every bit of it. He really has taken to this class and the instructor working with him was totally awesome with him. I've never seen the Kid work so hard and be so FOCUSED at something before. He really, really wants this and I have to say, he is pretty awesome at it, thus far. The dojo Master even noticed and commented a week or so ago that he has never seen a kid that age be so persistent and committed to perfecting the work as the Kid has been. You know, I've said and believed all along that every one of those intense qualities the Kid has also has a positive spin. It was really, really, REALLY nice to actually see it, though. And I'm so happy for my boy to have finally found that thing that he ROCKS at!! Gosh, I'm tearing up just typing this and thinking of him doing his thing. :)

**************************************
In related dojo news... I believe I further confirmed the fact that I have the impulse control of a small child when, arriving at the dojo early and finding it entirely deserted, I was rendered brainless upon seeing the array of Muay Thai kick bags hanging from the ceiling. I promptly set up for a killer roundkick. Which promptly almost broke my foot in half. It didn't help that mid-kick I remembered that Muay Thai bags are much more solid than a heavy bag and are supposed to be hit with your SHIN and not the topside of your foot/ankle as you do when doing blocker drills or heavy bag work. Nice work, Poseur. Luckily my foot is OK, if just a bit on the sore side today. I pulled back enough in that split second to not break anything... just not soon enough to not look really, really stupid when I had to take a couple hopping steps and blink back tears after cracking my foot against that bag. Good thing the gym was empty.

**************************************
And yes... I still have the martial arts bug. I wanted to train with the Kid's class. And, when his class ended and the next group of Muay Thai fighters came in... yeesh... I wanted a piece of that action SOOOOOO BAD!!! Nevermind the fact that I like my face in one piece. Nevermind that cauliflower ears don't look so hot on girls. I wanted to be working drills and kicking and hitting stuff again. And you KNOW that I most definitely wanted in on that BOXING SHORT action.

Sweet!

Interweb, I love you.

2010-02-18T09:28:00.003-06:00

I love the random bits of Stuff that get passed around the internet. This morning I found somethingin my inbox that just may Change My Life.

See? How awesome is that? Am I the only one who has labored and cursed over peeling boiled eggs whose shells just wants to STICK to the eggs like they were superglued on?

Unreal. I think I'm gonna go make some egg salad. Right now. Just cause I want to try this out. :)

Need You Now.

2010-02-15T11:20:00.004-06:00

EDIT: Decided to forego the competition. Funny how putting something in writing kinda reveals your true feelings about it. Not my thing right now, I guess.

But I'll keep Lady Antebellum's song up cause it's pretty and moving and I love the duet harmonies.

This Road Trip Brought to You by the Letter "W" and Orange TicTacs

2010-02-12T23:16:00.012-06:00

Yesterday I set out on the open road to bring a Wheel Demo Event to neighboring derby league. Well... "neighbors" who are about 500kms east of me. It really was a whirlwind of a trip. I packed up and loaded the truck down that morning and was on the road by noon: the event went from 9pm to midnight or thereabouts, I caught about 5 hours of sleep and then was back on the road to come home.

But I have to say it. I did have fun.

At first I was a little grumpy about not being able to take my very own Rocket. I love that car. But Rocket did not love all the STUFF I had to take along.

It was a lot of stuff. And Rocket just wasn't meant to haul the payload. I was really feeling kinda crabby about driving Mr F's SUV. Not that it's not nice, but it's weird to park and back up and just didn't feel at all the same as my peppy and familiar as my lil Civic. But, I soon found myself warming up to the old truck... Mostly because of this bit of Saving Grace.

Oh yes... the dance party was kicked up in thurr. I got all low and gangsta with X 20 and then hit the way back tracks on XM 8 and a little bit of 9. And the Hair Band station was a quick stop in between a little bit of Country on XM 16 and the "good" music on XM 32. I am officially a HUGE fan of satellite radio. NO COMMERCIALS!!! How sweet is that? Let me tell you, it's about as sweet as the Sweetness That Saved Radio. Cause commercials make me want to stab myself in the eye with a dull pencil. True dat.

(See, we's got all gangsta for realz, brah...)

Here are some highlights from my trip; in pictures.

This was actually the first picture of my trip. The point where I got so bored that I thought of the camera in my purse and had the trippy little thought that I should document the boredom. Good idea, Flutterby. Let's drive dangerously while smiling for the camera and see if that picks up the excitement level any. I am genius.

And this my dear readers... is why I was bored.

These babies are MINE, now!! Part of my trip involved a quest for decently priced socket/rachets/whatever they're called. Cause I needed 10 1/2" sockets. I scored a sweet deal at Peavey Mart on double sets of 3/8" and 1/4" drive rachets. Problem was... good luck finding 1/2" sockets for a 1/4" drive rachet. Two cities later I found the adapters I needed at a Princess Auto (and I won't even tell you how freakin cool I felt when I figured out what I needed). I know, I amaze even myself.

I may or may not have eaten 100 orange TicTacs on this trip. Yummm... me loves some orange TicTacs

I also may or may not have sorta trashed Mr F's truck. I promise I will clean it up. (Special thanks to Mr. Tim Horton for helping me not eat icky fast food this trip. FYI, I am not counting the Boston Cream donut as fast food cause all the icing stuck to the bag and everyone knows all the bad stuff is in the icing. The inside is pure, healthful goodness... just saying)

More boredom. Sortof. I actually enjoyed the drive. It's nice, kinda curvy highway which makes one feel a bit like a racecar driver. (*SIGH* Rocket, come back to me...) Just could have done with a bit less of it by this point... 10 hours total on the road in less than 24 hours.

Officially have OD'd on the urban vibe. Throwing up hoods and gang signs at passing cars. I think I may have scared an elderly lady. Almost home.

OK... I will admit that things got dicey on the way home. A girl can only take so much open road on her own. I was on the verge of talking to myself.

The Wheel Demo was a huge success, though. Good sales and absolutely awesome PR. I really enjoyed my time with the girls and look forward to doing another one soon. Maybe just a little bit closer to home this time.

You win some, you lose some.

2010-02-10T11:16:00.004-06:00

I am a compulsive hair-changer -- lately it seems that a hairstyle doesn't last on me for more than a month or two. But I may have done it this time. **EEK** Flutterby goes Thug Lite and WAY TOO SHORT for her chubby chipmunk cheeks.

Oh well, it's hair, right? I can always change it next time.

Now off to work to see what the grade 3's have to say about Lunch Lady Red. ha!

Hey, Soul Sister

2010-02-08T19:17:00.004-06:00

Needed a pick-me-up today. Train's newest single is a little song that's put a smile on my face. Love the catchy melody and rollicking beat. And watching the lead groove to the lyrics is worth a second smile.

And with lyrics like "So gangster, I'm so thug.", how can you not love it? And have it stuck in your head all day...

Heavy Hearts

2010-02-07T23:30:00.003-06:00

Sad news today of humanity's condition befalling a man I respect and admire. My heart aches for those touched by this news.

We all fall sometimes. I hope that this man -- a counselor who greatly helped me reach towards healing and reconciliation in my own marriage -- will walk once again. And I hope that somehow, the testimony of God's mercy and grace will win out over the destruction.

A wise man once said that there is good in the worst of us and evil in even the best hearts.

It can be scary to peek inside the dark places, but I think it's needed.

Deep Thoughts on a Friday Afternoon

2010-02-05T15:07:00.005-06:00

This school year has gone by so very, very quickly. It seems that the older these kids get, the more time speeds by. I remember my Mom talking like this when I was younger. Those years, coincidentally, felt like they were CRAWLING along to my way of remembering. It seemed to take forever to get around to my next birthday, the next summer's holidays, etc. when I was young.

By and large, things have gone very smoothly. The Princess is truly a star at school. She LOVES her teacher and classmates and puts so much quality effort into her work. It really gives me joy to see her working hard at her projects and homework... cause I'm not so sure that I was like that at her age. I hope that school continues to be a place where she thrives and feels challenged, where she grows in confidence in her abilities and talents. So far, so good and I count my blessings that this is the case.

The Kid, however, is struggling. This has been a cause for concern for a while now. I think I perhaps even posted about things last year. He does very much enjoy his teacher. She is a lovely lady with a gentle disposition and he really wants to please her and do well. He has lots of friends (although I will say that the playground dynamics for little boys are sooooo foreign to me -- they're worse than girls, for sure!!!) and seems to be well-liked by the kids around him.

The Kid has always struggled with aspects of his temperament which nicely place him in the "spirited" category of children. He is persistent, distractible (and yes... those two qualities CAN be found in one child. I am a witness to it every day), emotionally intense, sensitive and physically active.

I have spent the greatest part of these past seven years growing in appreciation for my boy; as well as learning ways to help him master the difficulties of his temperament. It is a constant work in progress and some days we do better than others. He needs routine and sleep and rigid boundaries... all things which are easy enough to plan, but sometimes hard to follow through on.

He's experienced minor difficulty in the classroom since kindergarten, really; trying to get a hold of his predisposition to be distracted, to control his impulses to chat or blurt out whatever intensely interesting point crosses his mind at any given moment. But, as the years have gone on, the expectations of classroom behavior have risen. And his growing awareness of his internal struggles have increased, as well.

He's not a "bad kid" -- at least, I don't think he is, nor have I heard anything to make me question. He generally does not make poor choices nor does he treat other students with disregard or meanness. He is not mischievous or looking to create trouble for the teacher. However, he is one of those kids who is sitting at the front, in easy reach of the teachers eyes and ears -- positioned, with forethought, away from his friends who may bring extra temptation his way. And whenever I touch base with his teacher, she always makes mention (in a kind way) of his difficulty listening and how easily distracted he is... and I can tell that he is the student who challenges her the most in that manner.

Wow, I'm being long-winded.

Bottom line, is I am beginning to question whether or not it would be good to get the Kid some extra help, some diagnostic tools or whatever. It pains me to see him become aware that he is not the student he wants to be, that he has a sense of his inadequacies in the eyes of his teachers.

I fully realize that, outside of perhaps some special -- or "stronger" -- temperament issues, that mostly his biggest problem is just being a BOY in a school system that is designed to work against everything that makes boys the wonderful little boogers they are.

I guess that my question is simply where to draw the line. When does the benefit of striving to grow and change in an area of Challenge become diminished by the back-bowing crush of being disappointed in your best efforts?

I want my son to learn that personal change and growth is important. That people will have expectations of his behavior his whole life through and that he should be and *is* capable of working towards all kinds of improvements in life. I want him to become a productive, contributing member of society who does not make excuses for his lot in life or his behavior in it. But I don't want these lessons to come at the cost of his sense of person, his value or worth in my eyes or in the eyes of others.

We've decided to enroll the Kid in a Hapkido school in our city. I had a hunch it would be right up his alley. A Korean martial art which focuses on ground work and wrestling, joint locks and disarms... it plays right into my little guys' love for tearing around wrestling on the floor. And he has loved it so far. He is by far the youngest student in the class and he made us very proud with his respectful behavior and attention to his sensei. I hope that this can become something that will FEED his sense of self, instead of take away from it as school sometimes can. And, I hope that he doesn't follow in his Daddy's footsteps and become a street brawler... I trust that he will have better guidance in his life and discipline to handle his strength and temper than Mr. F. did.

And if not, his "reformed" Dad will have to teach him a lesson, I guess. ;)

I've started working with him a bit more intensively at home; trying to help him key into those moments of distraction before they hit his chatter-button.

And I've considered taking him for ADD testing, too... but I'm really hesitant to go down that road. I'm sure there's enough reasons to slap some acronym on him. But I have no intention of drugging my boy at this point; and so I'm not sure what good any kind of diagnosis will do.

Any suggestions, my internet friends? I'm all ears.

The Weekend That Wasn't.

2010-01-25T11:15:00.009-06:00

Boooooo...

Boo for weekends that don't turn out. At all.

My crew was scheduled to leave for Medicine Hat early Saturday morning. Things were looking iffy on Friday as warm temps, slushy snow and rising winds were creating havoc on the highways. A few carloads of teammates that left on Friday, texted back messages telling us that the highways were in horrible condition and that no one should follow.

All fine and good except that things only got worse. At 7:00a.m. there were lots of stretches of highway which the provincial hotline was advising not be traveled due to icy conditions and the forecasted blizzard that night. Now, I am a good winter driver, I feel confident handling all kinds of snowy/drifty conditions, blowing snow, whatever. But ice scares the crap out of me, and after a quick breakfast meeting with my teammates, we decided to abandon our travel plans and live to derby another day.

Good choice, especially seeing how as of today... all my teammates who did make the trip are now stuck in Medicine Hat. Sections of highway have been outright closed yesterday and today. It's not looking good for them to get home any time soon and I'm glad that's not me.

But I did promise pictures. So, here is what my yard and neighborhood look like after a snow storm.

Winds have been averaging about 60km/hr for the last two days and there are some huge drifts in our back yard. For scale, that section of fence in the back yard is about 7 ft tall.

It's hard to appreciate the depth of this one. And you can clearly see that I left my deck a bit messy for the winter. I have yet to perfect my outdoor winterizing schtick. Somewhere at the side of the house is a garden hose and sprinkler set, as well. I suck. This snowdrift is about 6 ft tall and covers over 8x12 ft. Can anyone say SNOW FORT? Oh yeah.

Drifted up taller than the fence.

On the street in front of our house.

Across the street, our neighbors ended up with drifting in front of their houses. 5 - 6 ft high against the garage doors.

I can only imagine what this looks like from the inside.

Mr. F was out shoveling twice yesterday just to stay on top of the blowing snow... not to mention the SNOWBLOWING done by our neighbors, which neatly cleared their driveways but added inches more to ours. Honestly, people don't even use their brains.

It's ON!!

2010-01-22T10:19:00.002-06:00

Another whirlwind weekend in the works. I will be filling my truck with rad derby girls at the arse-crack of dawn on Saturday morning and we will hit the open road for Medicine Hat, AB where we will proceed to lay the HURT down on the track.

All. Day. Long.

Three games. One day. It's gonna be a gooder!

Which means that today is crazy-full of stuff to do. Ack! I'll be sure to take lots of pics and try to throw something together when I get back that more entertaining than THIS. :)

Have a great weekend, everyone!

This and That.

2010-01-14T20:45:00.002-06:00

My morning routine usually involves running the kids to school; each to their own entrance if time permits. This morning, after saying goodbye to the Princess and watching her cross the street safely; the Kid shakes his head thoughfully and marvels, "It's hard to believe that next year she'll be 12 and in Grade 7..."

What an old softie.

***************************

I should know by now that minute I brag to the internets that I've been super-duper healthy all winter that I've pretty much jinxed myself.

Last Monday I went and got my H1N1 shot (long story, but let's call it peer pressure and leave it at that) and ended up feeling flu-ey and sickish for a few days. By Thursday, though, things were looking up and I decided to go to derby practice. Two hard-skating hours and a good sweat later, I knew I was in a bit of trouble. Woke up the next morning with a sore throat and things have been downhill since.

My throat is super-killer from all the coughing I'm doing and I'm kinda worried I'm in for a bit of a replay of the HackingCrudIllness of '07 (which I would link to, except it's not there anymore). Tonight I have a date with some hot tea and an early bedtime, for sure.

***************************

Adventures in skate building! Yes... I took on my first challenge and, all things considered? Success!!

My girlfriends skate plates (the metal brace under the sole which supports the suspension) had been installed improperly from the store she purchased them from almost two years ago. A quick inspection and I saw that, not only were they mounted too far back on the boot, but that one of the plates was over 1/4" off centerline. Yeesh.

So, drill and tools in hand I set to dismantling, positioning and re-mounting my first set of skates. I won't even lie to you. With over $400 of someone else's gear in one hand and a drill in the other; I was pretty much feeling shaky and pukey. But I was also grinning like a lil fool cause, well... I was doing it.

Fast forward FOUR HOURS (cause I'm apparently a big fan of the OCD school of "Measure 30 times, drill once" thought) and I was able to present my girlfriend her skates. And if I must say so... I've not seen a sweeter centerline-forward mount. I was some proud, to be honest. And even happier when she skated in them and for the first time in over two years of skating, didn't break stride over her front wheels or fall due to tipping over those wheels.

I learned some stuff along the way. I need some different tools. And I don't think I'll be doing that again until after I start apprenticing with the Doc. But, it was a cool experience that will hopefully be the first of many.

Big Kid.

2010-01-11T16:02:00.003-06:00

I just got myself a new toy...

~ Cordless
~ Variable speed
~ Comfortable no-slip grip
~ Powerful battery
~ 1 hour charge

Anyone care to guess??

?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?

*wink*

You have not...

2010-01-09T16:08:00.002-06:00

...because you ask not.

Or at least that's what I was thinking when I put my fingers to the keyboard to write a most audacious email.

I chose my words carefully as I wrote a man I highly esteem. His over 30 years of experience, mechanical knowledge and innovative style have won him much accolade in the skate world. He is one of the most-sought after custom skate builders in North America.

I pressed SEND and I waited. And I could not believe my eyes when I received my response.

He has agreed to mentor me and this spring I will be crossing two provinces and seven states; about 2000 miles, to work with him. Something which I think will be the highlight of my year -- and, yes, I know the year is young, but some things just glitter with promise -- and set me on a course I am very, very excited about.

So, here's to asking. And receiving.

Just Breathe

2010-01-03T21:58:00.002-06:00

I've always love Vedder's voice and artistry. I'm loving one of his latest and adding it to one of my all time favorites -- a sweet, sad hymn of love.

Variations on COOL

2010-01-02T23:51:00.003-06:00

Cool.

I just signed up for a burlesque dance class. I'm kinda expecting some kind of belly dance stuff, but I really have no idea... who knows what my girlfriends got me into?!? But I love them for it, I'm sure it will be fun -- if only cause I've got great company during the classes!

Cooler.

Knock on wood, but I just realized that I've gone over half the winter and not gotten sick. At all. I've had some crappy feeling days and a time or two I had to knock some sense into my wonderful sinuses. But seriously? I'm liking this trend. Add to it the fact that the whole flutterfamily hasn't really been sick, either? Sweet sweetness. I'm down with that.

Tied for second place is my new workout plan I'm starting. And, if USPS would make me the happiest girl... I'll have it in my greedy lil hands tomorrow. Crazy combos of plyo and military-based stuff and killer cardio intervals. It's gonna hurt me bad, but I will love it, cause I need it.

Coolest.

I've been working feverishly on getting a lil project off the ground. I'm launching an online skate store, which I'm pretty stoked about. The website goes live by the end of this week (I hope!!)and I cannot BELIEVE how much work I have to do. After launch, I'm doing a league circuit which means I'll be on the road just a bit, meeting girls: doing info sessions with them and letting them try out some really sweet products I've got. I'm really excited about my business plan and I hope it rocks Western Derby's world. That said, I don't need to conquer the world... just want to do a good job with something I love. I've been cramming my head full of info and stuff and within the next few months will be getting cozy with some power tools and doing custom mounts, as well as trying to track down a mini-lathe that won't cost me my arm and a child.

OH, and I can't forget this. This, which made our children screech and holler. This, which will entirely deplete our carefully saved AirMiles account. But, yay, AirMiles!!! Cause, yeah... Yay, Disneyland!! February, baby! Me and the Mouse are chillin like villians and I don't know who will enjoy it more... the kids or the adults.

So far 2010 is off to a wild start, I'd say.

Note To ME.

2009-12-29T22:41:00.001-06:00

Stay strong and be true. You have a good heart. Stand.

Killswitch vs. The Skate Park

2009-12-22T23:34:00.003-06:00

So, it's been months since summer which means it's been months since I've done any "aggressive" skating.

Tonight, a group of us girls decided to go check out the indoor skateboard park on the exhibition grounds. And, after jazzing around a bit and getting used to the ramps and pipes again, myself and a girlfriend start eyeing up the quarter pipe in the corner. It's about a three-foot drop in -- small according to skateboard standards, but a good place to start learning to drop in on a pipe.

See, up until now, all our approaches have been from the ground-up. Dropping in from the top is a whole 'nother animal altogether.

We are pumped. We are sooooo bad ass. It's ridiculous.

We clamber to the top rail and stand looking downward. The bowl of the pipe looks pretty freakin impossible from this angle. We test footing and angles and scrunch our eyebrows in consternation as to how in the world we will manage to get two feet and eight wheels over the coping and down the pipe. Our first attempts are passable. I manage to land one foot and kinda half-drag my other toestop behind me. Not perfect, but reasonable for a first try. But by my fourth or fifth attempt, I'm getting a bit cheesed at my uncooperative backside foot.

Attempting to amp myself up for a balls to the wall final attempt, I participate in a little bit of inanimate object trash talk.

"Eff you, little quarter pipe. You think you're better than me? You think I can't own you, little quarter pipe? Just watch me."

At the top, now. I snarl and narrow my eyes. I'm doing this. One quick entry hop over the metal coping and... time stands still as I hang for a moment mid-air. This is gonna be good. I can feel it. Pipe is gonna feel it. And...

I eat it hard. Ridiculously so. It's like my skates are magnetic opposites to the wood of the pipe and I am thrown to my backside in a most inglorious manner. Imagine your kitchen table, if you will. Now, imagine jumping off of the tabletop. And landing straightaway flat on your butt. On the floor.

It was that ridiculous. Pipe owned Me. Point for Pipe.

And I will just say that if there ever was a reason for a derby girl to pee herself just a little bit, it could possibly be a bad ass fall like that.

Possibly.

Just saying.

Solving for X

2009-12-16T19:49:00.005-06:00

Grouchy, Cold Flutterby + Super Warm Coat = Toasty, Happy Flutterby

Or something like that.

After suffering through a week of temperatures hovering around -30C (plus windchill, of course... this is Saskatchewan, people) whilst wearing her nine-year-old boarding jacket which had long past lost all it's high-tech loft in repeated washings, a certain Flutterby decides that enough is enough. And gathering her chilly self in her freezing car, she sets out for Army Surplus sites unknown.

For there, she has heard, is the Mother of all Warm Winter Coats. A coat so warm and awesome, it was designed to keep bodies warm during Arctic military expeditions.

Searching for the coat in the midst of other, equally bad-ass looking coats, Flutterby quickly spots the MWWC. It is large and techy looking with gnarly zippers and pockets and enough fur on the hood to cover a large cat. One look at the succinct, no-nonsense military label tells her that this is a "Parka: Extreme Cold Weather". It is surprisingly light and she hefts it over her shoulders and proceeds to struggle with the double ended zipper (What is this? Kindergarten again?? Please.) and arrange the extra large, furry hood over her head.

It is indeed, the winter coat to end all coats. Her search has ended.

If only she didn't look like a large marshmallow in it. *sigh* A TOASTY, WARM large marshmallow, though.

***********************************
It is true that I have entirely lost all pretense of being fashionable in this parka. It is huge. Too big for me, really... but they are sized for buff army dudes and not average housewives. Size small was as little as they came and I still swim in it. I probably look rather like the Michelin Man -- all puffy and shapeless and if Stacy and Clinton got a hold of me in it, I'm sure they'd give me an earful.

But seriously, I am so over FREEZING in the wintertime. And if we are indeed going to finish out our lives here in this nasty part of the winter-world, I've decided that I will at least not wish I was dead when the deep freeze hits.

-35... I'm waiting for you. Bring it.

Rudimentary Equations

2009-12-14T21:40:00.003-06:00

Extreme Cold Temperatures + Flutterby = GROUCHY ME

Oscar the Grouch ain't got nothin on me. I'll shank that little green goober before he can flip the lid on his trash can.

And my kidneys hurt. Which seems totally unrelated but I assure you is totally, completely related to both the Cold and the Grouch. And maybe even the shanking. Whatever.

I have a feeling that all this could be nicely cured by a week or two sitting on a beach in Cuba or Mexico or something like that. Maybe my own private island with endless sand, grottos and Krav Maga. But I digress. Yes, I think that some sun and sand and swimming could be the ticket to a happier, less stabby, Me.

Anyone care to join?? I promise to leave my knives at home.

Baby, It's Cold Outside.

2009-12-11T21:11:00.003-06:00

The Chanukah candles are burning down; their flames turning long and wobbly. I'm enjoying the sounds of guitar strumming I can hear from the Princess' room, it's so nice to have music in the house, again. I can hear the comfy, splashy sounds of the Kid in the bathtub. And if I listen closely I can probably hear the sounds of pup and Mr F. snoring together in the bedroom, adding to the sports channel that's playing in the background.

Myself, I'm going to enjoy the last few minutes staring into the flames and then tidy up a bit. The only thing that could make this better is a hot chai. Hmmm... sounds like a plan.

AAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGHHHHGHGGGHGGGGHHGHHH.

2009-12-09T22:26:00.002-06:00

I just got served a big, steamy pile of Kicked In the Junk compliments of technology.

Last night, the Princess sang at her first open mic. She was fabulous (more on that later) and I managed to capture it on video. I actually did bring our little Flip video camera, but it self-destructed at the venue (no really... when I turned it on, it took about 10 seconds to boot and then got uncomfortably hot in my hands. Almost had an actual meltdown.) and as a last resort, I was able to catch my daughters' song using my crappy cell phone video feature.

So, tonight, I load up my little mini card into the adapter and get set to move the video (along with over a year's worth of assorted pics) onto my computer. Items copied and new folder made. Button clicked and I watch the little bar travel across the screen as my 69 items are copied into said new folder. (thank you, little bar, for LYING TO ME!!!!!)

I decide to also clean up my mini card, now that everything's been uploaded. Click. Delete.

So imagine my surprise when I open my upload folder and find it EMPTY.

No. Surprise is not the word. Disappointment is not the word. I really don't know what the heck the word is, but it involves the pit of my stomach and lurching and feeling awful. And maybe almost crying.

Cause she was so amazing. I know that I'm a proud mama and that proud mamas can be responsible for so many train wrecks and over-estimations of talent.

But this little girl, she really can sing. And she sang her heart out that night. Accompanied by her vocal teacher on guitar, she sang "Don't Laugh At Me" by Mark Wills. The lyrics are touching, but to hear them sung by such a young lady with a clear, sweet voice... It was special. I was so, so very proud of her.

And I really, really wanted to share it, here.

Sigh.

Uncertainties.

2009-12-06T22:40:00.002-06:00

Today I sat in church and as the service closed, the band played an older song. One that I remember from years ago. I've sung it many times over the years and not thought much of it, but today something was different.

Today I could almost reach back in time and become that girl who sang. Remember the feeling of that church sanctuary where our youth group met; the smell of old carpet and wood, the acoustics, the close summertime air. It was a neat little moment, a window in time if you will. I enjoyed it for what it was, but was left saddened in some ways.

I am so different from that girl. She sat there years ago, cloistered and protected; trusting and open to receive. She didn't question. It was so simple and it all made sense so much as life had brought her way.

And I felt like crying. I am tired of the questions and the only certainty I feel I have is that nothing will be simple again.

I can live with that, but I looked over at the sweet girl beside me, and thought of my boy across the way in his Kid's Club, and I hoped that somehow they will be allowed a measure of simplicity. And I feel a little bit afraid that my questions, my husband's questions... have stripped that from them.

Our God is an Awesome God,
He Reigns In Heaven Above
With Wisdom, Power and Love,
Our God is an Awesome God.

I hope that can be enough.

Count With Me, Now.

2009-11-29T23:00:00.003-06:00

Prophecy in Retrospect:

During tonight's Grey Cup game, in which our province's beloved Roughriders played the Montreal Alouettes, there were frequent screen captures of the RiderNation fans holding signs which read:

The 13th Man Is Your Worst Nightmare!!!!

And apparently... he was.

I'm still reeling in shock. And I'm not even a huge football fan. That was more ridiculousness than one game can handle. And I'm guessing that one Defensive Line Coach will be wearing a RiderNation melon hat on his head for some time. That is, if he still has his job.

Good work, Riders. Sorry that it didn't turn out for y'all. Better luck next time.

Stuff I've Noticed About Having a Puppy.

2009-11-26T22:24:00.003-06:00

Just a few things I've noticed lately. Things related to the new little fur-ball in the family and I thought I'd share.

1) There has been significantly more laundry. The odd housetraining accident. A puppy bath, changing the "linens" in the crate. (cause we roll Classy around here, people!) Laundry.

2) I feel the inexplicable need to converse with the puppy when it's just me and her in the house. I'll be doing my thing in the kitchen or whatever and whenever she walks by and looks up at me, I feel like I'd be rude to not, well, SAY SOMETHING. What's that?? It's kinda embarrassing, is what that is.

3) The children have come through with approximately 3.675% of their pre-puppy Promises. 3.125% is due to the Princess. .55% is due to the Kid. This is REAL WORLD MATH, readers. Don't doubt.

4) I have come through with 145% of pre-puppy Promises and 239.75% of all puppy-related obligations. This roughly translates to a rising trend of Alpha Mommy Syndrome. The puppy worships me. When it's not trying to pee on my stuff.

5) Puppy stretches, snurgles and snuffles, and puppy yawns are insanely cute. So cute they could be measured in gigawatts of cuteness.

6) Having a puppy gives you repeated opportunities to walk in the backyard and talk about "taking a whiz" and "going potty". I'm sure the neighbors have never been so entertained.

7) Repeated walks in the backyard at ridiculous hours of the morning, evening and night makes me ever so glad that we don't have much snow at all. I am so loving El Nino at the moment. And so dreading the day when it all hits us like a mack truck of snowglobes.

8) Having a puppy means I am once again stepping over a baby gate and periodically almost killing myself.

9) I cannot leave a garbage bag out of it's receptacle for the afternoon to fill it just that last little bit full before taking it out.

10) I cannot leave anything out.

11) Unless I put it on something higher than she can reach.

12) Thank God in Heaven she is a Chihuahua and not a Great Dane.

13) Puppy feet smell like corn chips.

14) I may have difficulty ever eating corn chips again.

15) I like the *snick snick snick* sound of her nails on the floor. Cute.

16) I have realized that, while I probably am truly a Cat Person, I'm pretty fond of my lil pup. She's pretty precious.

Howling at the Moon.

2009-11-23T22:32:00.003-06:00

Tonight I dragged Mr. F. to watch New Moon at the theatre.

For those of you who have had your head under a rock, or simply prefer your fiction to be grounded in reality and substance; it is the sequel to "Twilight".

It's about teenage angst and vampires (and really, now... clearly those two things go hand in hand.) and life-altering LOVE *sigh*. Oh, and werewolves. There may be some other elements involved, some semblance of a plot and really some interesting action sequences. But really? Mostly about vampire love.

Which begs the question. Why did I care to watch?

Which is really something I haven't got around to asking myself, yet. The answer revolves around being bored at my old hotel front desk job and picking up the book to read to pass the time. Which then begged me to fulfill my curious wonderings... "Is the movie better or worse than the book?" Which really could be a toss up. Cause the book wasn't all that hot. Should be easy to improve on. But... I digress.

What is will say is that I was shocked at what passes for a "PG" rating nowadays and just how many children (really... CHILDREN) were at the movie theatre to watch this. Cause it was pretty violent/perilous and there were a few steamy moments that I sure wouldn't want my kids to watch. I know that "kissing" falls under a PG rating, but dude... those were some HOT kisses.

I will also say that I was not adverse to the fact that werewolves are kinda hot. And mostly shirtless, apparently. (I mean, when they're not werewolves... cause, obviously... wolves don't wear shirts when they're wolves. Or whatever.) Heh heh... it appears that the wolves brought out my inner Cougar.

Lame... sorry.

I guess it was entertaining enough. Better than the book in some ways, and not as good in others. The pacing lagged through some of it... I could do with less angst and more action. But all in all, not bad. Some themes are universal, and anyone who's been thrown to the gutter by love can probably relate to these characters. And I think that's why people love the story.

That, and shirtless werewolves.

I Need A Hug.

2009-11-18T22:12:00.002-06:00

There, that wasn't so bad to admit.

I'm on the board of directors for a certain... errrr... team. (There, was that anonymous enough???) I love being a part of making this particular sport better in our city. Of working with great girls who, largely, have the same goals and drive as I do. These are my friends and teammates.

But there's one particular relationship on this board that I struggle with. I very much like this person and enjoy her company on certain levels, but I find her management persona to be hard to deal with. She tends to lecture and be very passive-aggressive and easily threatened by other people's drive and initiative. It was one thing to deal with on the board, but after some time, I noticed it was carrying over to how she treated me (and others) on the track and I knew it was time to stand up for myself. To put some boundaries in place.

And this isn't easy for me. She is an intimidating person, both in stature and personality. She is prone to being unpredictable and dramatic and this makes most people simply back off and let her have her way, lest they incur a temper tantrum or worse. And, truthfully, that is my first inclination as well. (**site previous post and self-proclaimed wimp status**)

But it got to the point last month where I felt compelled to do something.

I don't want to get into details, but there have been two occasions on which (in a public forum) I have had the need to firmly but reasonably call "Bullsh$#" on her shenanigans and stand up for my right to be treated as an adult and not a childlike minion under her purvey.

Yesterday was one of them and the fall-out hasn't been pretty.

I want to be this tough chick who can just sit back and laugh at it all. To not care. To say "to hell with her and all who think like her".

But I'm not and I can't.

And today, I just wanted to sit with a Friend. A true friend who knows me inside and out and knows what my heart is in this all. Who could handle my tears of frustration and tell me it will be OK. That it's OK to stand up for me. That I should be understood and respected.

I needed a hug. That's all.

Open Letter to the Three Douches Sitting Behind Me Tonight.

2009-11-14T00:03:00.002-06:00

Really, guys? You pay $18.00 each to watch a pro hockey game and can think of nothing better to do than converse loudly during the Whole. Game???? Really?

I mean, normally, I might be slight entertained to overhear about your great sex life since you've been pregnant and all your various and sundry opinions about life and finances and general Stuff That Does Not Pertain To My Life In Any Way Whatsoever. Normally.

But when you insist on dropping the F Bomb with ridiculous intensity and accuracy in the very near vicinity of my 7 year old son, I tend to, hmmmmmm.... NOT APPROVE. Really, people. Is that necessary? Is it some sort of required linguistic compulsion fostered in the trash bin you grew up in?

Cause I really don't see the point. I mean, beyond the sheer ridiculous tally of curse words you managed to fit into your steady stream of annoying conversation -- a number which, alone, boggles my mind -- I am left agog and amazed at the levels of self-absorbtion you all managed to wallow in.

And the irony. My good Lord, the irony of you sitting there blustering with pride over how you have managed to incubate a baby for all of four months and the steadfastness with which you already proclaim to know all about babies and parenting as though you were the Immaculate Incarnation of Parental Perfection, yet remained entirely oblivious to the very cute and very impressionable product of my SEVEN FREAKING YEARS OF PARENTING was an astounding marvel of incomprehensible vapid obtuseness.

If I were a different person, you surely would have merited a solid dress-down of the sternest kind, not to mention a punch in the throat. But, you may count your lucky stars that I really am a pussy and therefore just sat there and fumed and imagined little stabby darts being hurled at you each time my ears blanched with your repeated assault. And called you "Douche-bags" in my head. Repeatedly.

I hope that your child is graced with the most grating, wretched, whiny voice.

I'm sorry. But I do.

Goodbye.

2009-11-09T23:21:00.003-06:00

This past week my Grandpa passed away.

It was abrupt and shocking just like that sentence sounds. In any other case, I would say that the massive heart attack was a blessing. Eighty-eight good years spent in health -- still vital and possessing strength and independence. Ending quickly and without suffering. This is what everyone wants.

But he was my Grandpa and I wasn't ready to say goodbye. I assumed I had more time. More time to spend with him, to hear his stories and watch hockey with him. More time to see him delight in my children. More time.

I was wrong. There was no more time.

And so I grieve for my Grandpa. A loving, solid, generous man. A man who would do anything for his family, would give anything. I wish I had more time with him. The things I want to say thunder in my heart and it seems impossible that I can't ever say them to him.

And I wonder why I didn't when I had the time.

I trust that somehow he now knows and sees and understands in fullness. I trust that we will be reunited one day.

Until then, Grandpa.

A Hammy Led Us To Her.

2009-11-03T13:13:00.004-06:00

Sometimes it seems that the strangest things happen in the strangest ways.

This past Sunday, we took the kids to the local pet store to look at hammies. We were thinking of checking out the fuzzy rodents and possibly stepping back in the hammy game.

We spent some time wandering the store first, being captivated by kittens and puppies and a particularly friendly parrot, finally making our way to the Rodentia area. The kids were speculating about the personalities of the dozing hammies and there were a few already contending for the coveted spot of being the next Flutterbyhouse Hammy. One of the little ones they had picked out was dozing in the corner and I was just pointing out to the kids that I didn't think we'd want to pick him cause he was very skinny compared to the others, when said little, skinny hammy moved laboriously and I could see that something was Very Wrong with him.

His tiny little head turned and it was immediately apparent that he was badly injured. Grossly injured. My sharp intake of breath and girly squeak immediately alerted the kiddos and before I could stop them, they, too had gotten a full view of the carnage done to the little guys' eyeball. The Princess pleaded with me to find someone to help him and I quickly tracked down an employee who also gasped and paled and took that miserable little hammy out of the cage. We were left feeling sickened and heartbroken for that poor tiny hammy. The Princess looked green and said she felt faint. And, in all our adult wisdom... my mother and I decided to distract the kiddos with some time spent with a little puppy in the "bonding room".

And this is what I get for doing so.

I know, right? It's ridiculous. And very Cute. And named Goldie. Cause my kids rock with the Naming Originality like that.

But she is now ours and it's very possible that I wouldn't have it any other way.

I also may have a hammy habitat for sale.

Doing Stuff.

2009-10-26T15:32:00.003-06:00

Just a quick post. I promise.

:)

I'm really excited about a new project I'm working on. I'm starting an online fitness community and it's keeping me awake at night with all the fab ideas and plans running through my head.

No surprises, it's a derby related thing -- I'm gonna keep it small and in the league for now, but just maybe it will end up helping out more people achieve their fitness goals, in time. Regardless of how little or big it may be, it's very cool to have a spot to let your interests fly. I love helping people and building relationships and the whole writing, researching thing is totally exciting to me, too. (I mean, really? Isn't that evident by just how well-written THIS post is?!?!? lol)

Sometimes I feel like a lot of life has passed me by. And then there's times that let me see just how much Life there is to experience, yet. I enjoy those times!

All You Did Was Save My Life

2009-10-23T22:35:00.001-06:00

All You Did Was Save My Life

Our Lady Peace | MySpace Videos

Quick and Dirty.

2009-10-22T22:11:00.002-06:00

heh heh.

Actually, I'm thinking about the killer workout I did this morning. I'd like to be all bad-ass and make like I do killer workouts everyday. But the truth is that I've been a big slacker in that department for a few months, now. Other than derby practice (of which I've been out on the injured list for the past month,) I've not worked out. At all.

And it's showing. My clothes are getting that Shrunk In the Dryer feeling -- which I'm smart enough to know has NOTHING to do with my dryer! -- and I can tell that my cardio is seriously hurtin' cause running up and down the stairs to grab the cordless phone (And really... does anyone else have that problem where all the phones end up on ONE floor of the house? Or is that just Me?) leaves me a wee bit breathless.

Not a good sign.

It's time to change that stuff up good.

So today, I made good use of a workout DVD I've had in my possession for some time, now, but have been ignoring. It's a skate-specific workout which means it involved a crazy amount of squats, plyometrics, lunges, side lateral movements and other stuff which made me cry like a whiny little girl.

It was so challenging and, frankly, HARD. And I only did the "beginner workout". Sheesh. I'm pretty embarrassed. But, it's inspired me to conquer it. And I will.

I just might need help getting out of bed and Walking tomorrow morning.

100% Real Derby Goodness.

2009-10-19T09:26:00.003-06:00

I just got back from a derby road trip last night and I'm feeling the hurt today. I had been registered for this trip since summer and was really looking forward to the chance to play in Medicine Hat, AB. The league there is totally fab -- a bunch of great people and they put on a really terrific event.

About a month ago I injured my knee. Skating. Not playing derby. I wasn't wearing any protective gear cause I didn't want to look like a weenie and I ended up driving my left knee into the concrete floor at a pretty good speed, which isn't pretty any way you look at it. X-rays ruled out any fractures and the end diagnosis was traumatic bursitis -- essentially, all the bursae in that knee are filled with blood and pus at the moment. Beautiful, isn't it?

Anyhow, it wasn't looking good for the game as things weren't healing up any too quick. But last week my doc gave me a double prescription for anti-inflammatories (oral and topical) and within just a few days things had calmed down enough that, with my awesome 187 knee pads on, the pain of impact was bearable.

Happy, happy Killswitch. :)

I won't bore everyone any longer with the play-by-play of the weekend. I'll just go with the ESPN Highlight version:

- Girlfriends. I skate with some of the best girls. They've become really treasured friends and I totally enjoyed the weekend with them, outside of derby.

- Firsts. I signed my first autograph, people!! Three of them, actually, and I about hugged each kid that asked. Cause, really? You want my autograph? I totally get a kick out of playing a sport and being a part of something that people will pay to come any watch and cheer their heads off and yes... where kids will ask you for your autograph. Seriously, just how amazingly COOL is that? Who gets to do that????

- The game. The game was AMAZING!! I was placed in -- and frankly, outclassed by -- the Advanced/Senior game. I was playing with some of Western Canada's hottest players (as well as some hotshot members of my own league!) and I had stars in my eyes the WHOLE. TIME. I was glad to hold my own on the track and be a solid player, but I didn't light it up, for sure. Still... it was the hardest-hitting, fastest paced game I've played in, yet. I got my first major penalty for completing a hit out of bounds (my biggest coup of the game as I took on one of the team's best jammers. But still... a penalty. Boo.) and generally got some great game experience.

- Did I mention how absolutely proud I was of our league's skaters that played in the Rookie game?? I think the warm fuzzies threatened to swallow me at a few points. I love these girls!

- Karaoke? Oh yes. The after-party was terrific. Good food, good people and good song. Me and some girls headbanged through AC/DC's "Dirty Deeds" and our league totally represented at the mic. Lots of talent -- lots of attitude! I managed to take on the stage for a little bit of Eurythmics and then a strangely cathartic rendition of You Oughtta Know. And then the post-game fatigue set in and it was off to bed.

- The knee was fine. A little bit of bruising showed up that night, but it's all good. I've just got some random sore muscles, a little bit of fishnet burn and a couple impact-blister-bruises on one of my hands to show for the night. (I realize that's not a medical term, but you know those things where you crack a vein over a joint on something hard -- concrete floor in this case -- and it gets dark and puffy for a day and really hurts to touch but then is totally better the next day? Yeah, those things.) Oh, and also, a cleavage scratch that I have no recollection of recieving.

All in all, it was a great weekend... I feel very lucky to have Derby in my life and a family that is supportive of this obsession of mine.

Biting My Nails

2009-10-15T21:59:00.003-06:00

Tonight was the Princess' first school dance. Well... the first school dance that she was allowed to go to.

This is new territory for me as I was not allowed to attend ANY dances while I was growing up. I like to say I was Sheltered. Which, really? Worked pretty well for me as I'm sure all that Dancing with Friends While Supervised would have totally cut into my Sweaty, Making Out with Boyfriend time.

Sorry... did the irony cut a little too much??

All to say that I'm breaking new ground, here -- sending my daughter to her class dance.

First came the part that I loved. A little bit of shopping and then I got to play hairstylist and make-up artist (just a touch!) and we had a really cool time together for all of it. I love these little moments with the Princess, initiating her into this strange world of feminine ritual and lore. Mr. F was blown away when he saw his little girl all transformed into a little lady. I kinda was, too. Sometimes it's almost ridiculous to think of those first years with Baby Princess, so hard to imagine just how much time has flown by.

Next came the part that I was a bit unsure of. Picking up her friend and dropping them off at the school. Two giggly little girls tripping down the sidewalk. I so wanted to go in with them, to check it all out. To warn all the boys, really. Shake a fist in a face or two and generally stir it up a bit. I watched them be greeted by the swarm of classmates in the foyer and realized I would have to do what every other parent was doing... let them have their supervised fun in a safe place and drive away like the good chauffeur I was.

And the best part, receiving my Princess back home. Her feet sore and a smile on her face. She loved the music. She loved the lights. She had fun with her friends. And yes, she did dance with some boys from her class. The list was actually quite long, which I wasn't totally prepared for... but I survived and she did, too. I don't know that she will always be allowed to attend dances and she knows this. It will depend on the atmosphere that the school provides and the behavior that becomes the norm. It will depend on the trust that I've built with the Princess remaining intact. But at the moment all is well and I'm pretty happy with how things turned out, all said.

West Coast Vacation In Six Easy Points and One Horrifying Picture.

2009-10-12T22:54:00.005-06:00

PASS. -- Amazing scenery. Beyond amazing. Scenery which turned me into a Grandmotherly Lady exclaiming "Oh My..." and "How Beautiful..." and "So Lovely" whilst dabbing my eyes with a flowered hanky. It really was that Perfect. And I really was that dweeby. Cause let's be honest, I live on nature's equivalent to a Dinner Plate. F-L-A-T doesn't begin to describe my habitat. This was like Crack for my habitat-o-meter. Rocks, cliffs, mountains, ginormous trees and winding highways. Quaint bridges over picturesque creeks and... yes, I am reduced to a big pile of Dweeb.

FAIL. -- Three flights to get there. Thank you, AirMiles. You rock with the connections. *urrrghh* My ears were not happy with the repeated compression/decompression schtick we were *ahem* enjoying and malfunctioned somewhere around the ascent over the Rockies, leaving my head locked up like Houdini -- ouch -- and disturbing my equilibrium for the duration of the trip. Me and Gravol were a tight pair after that.

PASS. -- Super friendly people wherever we went. Really. I thought Prairie folk were friendly, but I kinda think we could learn a thing or two. We had some really... errr... Lovely (hello, Grandma...) conversations with lots of people and generally enjoyed our time on the Island greatly.

FAIL. -- Camera battery dies just as we enter Qualicum Falls and Cathedral Grove. Perhaps the most magical, breathtaking place I've been in my life. Dead camera. You've got to be kidding me. (and it was a borrowed one which needed a special charger -- not just some AA's. Trust me, I'd have been all over that.) Eff you, Camera. You and the horse you rode in on. Arrrgh.

PASS. -- The ocean. Oh my gosh... the OCEAN, people!!! Wandering the waterfront and marina, beachcombing along some really great stretches of oceanfront. My Inner Geek was in Geek heaven, I swear it. Look! Jellyfish!! Look! Starfish!! Look! Dead Crabs and Disembowelled Ducks!!! (no really, they were there. And I really checked them out, cause, yeah... dead crabs and disembowelled ducks!!) And no end of shells and rocks and driftwood and cool beachy stuff to collect and bring home for the kids. What? It was for the kids, really it was.

FAIL. -- Reggie Griswold. The beast of a spider that had taken up residence directly outside our hotel window. He was ginormous and ghastly and strangely entrancing. He also prevented us from opening up the window as there was no window screen (apparently this is an Island-wide phenomena. They don't mind letting the crawlies indoors.) and there was no way in hell I was willing to wake up eye to manifold-eye with Reggie.

Just in case there are any disbelievers among my readers as to the size and ridiculous horrificableness of Mr. Griswold (seriously, it has me making up new words, such was the sight of him) I will provide you with a picture. Keep in mind that things, once viewed, cannot be removed from your minds-eye. I will not be responsible for scary dreams, bedwetting and bad drug trips that may result from viewing the following picture.

Yeesh.

So, I am now happily back home in the Land of The Dinner Plate. It really is good to be home, good to see our kiddos and get back into some routine. Though I am truthfully mourning the passing of the Holiday Napping Hour. Cause that was pure Gold, people. And apparently one more point to consider as to whether or not Flutterby is really a Grandma in Disguise.

Vive la Vacation!

Golden.

2009-09-28T22:16:00.002-06:00

I love my Princess. And this is why.

*********************************

Sitting at the table doing homework tonight after supper, I decide to sit with her a bit and visit about her day while she works away. The Princess is feeling very giggly and plucky and is bringing out my favorite lil play voice -- the one that sounds just like the nasally-challenged socialite "Tracy Van Horn" on Hannah Montana. She cracks me up, this Princess.

(sing-song to the tune of CampTown Races... you know, the one that goes "all the doo dah night, all the doo dah day"...)

"I know something you don't know, do dah, do dah...
I know something you don't know, does that drive you crazy?"

She sits there with a silly grin plastered on her face and I have no choice but to begin the mastermind work of reeling this lil fishy in. Distracting her with suggestions for colors for her project and questions about what she's doing and totally ignoring that "She knows something I don't know, doo dah".

I know. I am a mad genius with the mind-probery. The Jedi ain't got nothin on me.

I can tell I'm getting her good. She works along barely able to stand it. I know her... she will not cave and be more direct. She sings her little ditty a couple times more while I remain steadfast in my placid and obtuse response. The third time I smile and laugh.

I let just a snort of mockery creep into my voice.

"Like there's anything you could say that could shock me." Haha ha ha and on to other work in the kitchen...

(Aside: See that? I am Just. That. Good.)

She grins and her eyes light up. "That's what you think, Mum. Today-"

Her eyes narrow and she bites her lip, looking me over like I'm a criminal -- her head slowly nodding as she takes in the truth.

"I know what you're trying to do, Mum."

I let a little smile peek out and she sings, ala Tracy Van Horn:
"I know something you don't know, do dah, do dah...
I know something you don't know, does that drive you crazy?"

CHECKMATE. I think I have met my match.

Ta-Da!

2009-09-13T21:41:00.003-06:00

Just some little bits of news from around here.

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The Princess just spent the weekend at a Junior Youth event. Two nights at a camp for kids Grades 6 - 8. She had the best time, EVAH. Which makes me happy. I was a bit nervous for her all weekend as she went into this not knowing a single person there. Which makes me proud. So, tonight I am enjoying this unique combination of Happy/Proud Mommy Feeling and trying to ignore that tiny bit of Scary knocking on the door. Cause, yeah. Grade Eight boys? Apparently are thinking the Princess is a sweetie.

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My Pops took second place at a working cow horse competition this weekend. I really wanted to make it out to see him -- maybe next time. Congrats, Dad!

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I've come to the conclusion that garage sales are not worth the effort. (something which I may have said to myself after the last time I did one.) Honestly... I did remember my resolution and everything was set to go to charity straightaway when my kiddos decided to Persuade their Mom otherwise. Dumb. Hours of work later and I still have a garage full of STUFF to send to charity anyhow.

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The purging of Stuff was necessary, though. Time to get on with finishing out our basement. Wait. First... finish the yard. Then the basement. 50 metric craploads of rock get delivered tomorrow and I don't know whether to laugh or cry. Cause yeah... yard will be done. But that's a LOT of rock and a lot of landscape cloth and I'm really not looking forward to any of it.

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I've actually been feeling kinda in a funk lately. Like no matter how hard I try I can't quite catch that groove. Too much to do and I'm not doing the kind of job I'd like to do on it. I need to get back to the gym cause derby's not quite cutting it, exercise-wise. Found a job that fits with the kid's schedule and then find out that I didn't quite budget myself enough and I have to find something else in addition. (which is not a big deal -- the school thing isn't a lot of hours, for sure... it's just that it's gonna be One More Thing, you know?)

One of my derby sisters told me that she sees that I do things the hard way -- make more work for myself in the end. I was a bit offended at first, to be honest. But I kinda wonder if she wasn't right?

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Went to visit one of my girlfriends in the hospital today. She's bipolar and a med change got out of hand. I love her family's sense of humor about the whole thing. Her husband wore this shirt -- in the psych ward -- that said "I'm on A Day Pass". Love it. She said this is the first time that she's had friends that have come out to visit her when she's ended up in the psych ward -- derby luv!! Why is there such a stigma about mental illness? I know I felt it when I was struggling with depression and it made it really hard to be honest about what I was dealing with.

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*Spongebob singsong voice*

"SKATE PARK!!! lalalalalalalalala!"

Yep. Went to the Skate Park today and made good on my promise to myself. Four-stair has been OWNED. And the two foot ramp as well.

Another hour of tricking out my mind to let me do stuff that really should be easy. For instance, jumping UP no more than eight inches onto a "box". I know I can jump that easily and do so regularly during some of our practices. The only difference is that I'm only clearing AIR and landing. Put eight inches of cement and steel coping in that "air's" place and it starts messing with my head. So I attempt it, but don't commit to it. Which means I end up hooking my toe stop/wheel/etc. and biting it hard. Sick.

I'm sure there's a life lesson in there, somewhere. There always is.

I will say that it felt flippin AWESOME to land the four-stair. It felt pretty amazing to do something that, well, most people wouldn't even try to do, to be honest. I think it was more about conquering fear than doing something skillful -- realizing that your only limits are in your mind. Well, sort of, anyhow. I suppose that there are some very real and painful limits found in the elements of concrete/steel and all... I came up against those a few times, for sure.

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Mr. F and I might be taking a bit of a trip out to the coast, soon. Should know by the end of this week... which will leave me about a week to nail down flights and itinerary. Nothing like waiting til the last minute. :)

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And that's about all I have to write for the moment. There is a Hammy saga to be told -- but I need a bit of time to process before I let that one go.

Hope you all have a great week!

Three Things.

2009-09-10T22:24:00.003-06:00

The Kid's had a bad string of luck lately. Last night he cranked his knee into the corner of our steel trailer whilst running by it like a banshee and was sporting a bit of a nasty bruise and a limp this morning. I decided to pick him up after school and save him the walk-limp home, picking him up outside his classroom.

We're driving home, when out of the blue he pipes up;

"Guess what Brody said to me today when he walked by, Mom?"

"What, baby?" (Mentally preparing myself for some sort of fart/belch/potty humor scenario)

"He said, (*deep Kid-voice*) 'Your Mom is SMOKIN'... he's funny."

*smirk*

"And then he whistled, too."

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I glean a few things from this. One, someone clearly better keep "Brody" away from whatever TV shows he's been watching cause his lil seven-year-old brain should NOT be thinking like that. Two, the Kid needs to adjust his sense of humor. And, Three... if I can just keep my groove for another, say... TEN years, I might be able to rank some MILF points. HA!!!!

This Used To Be My Playground.

2009-09-04T23:24:00.001-06:00

Just one of those songs that has been stuck in my head since I heard it a bit ago. Pretty and melancholy all in one. Not the usual Madonna fare. I like it.

How The Formula Goes.

2009-09-03T19:16:00.003-06:00

One Kid + One Miscalculated Leap From Playground Apparatus + One Belly Flop on Crushed Rock = One Distressed Mommy

Or something like that.

This past week I started lunchroom supervision duties at my kids' elementary school. (and I'm sure you'll hear all about that Awesomeness in a later post, do not dismay, dear reader) I report to the office each morning, go and do my spectacular job of keeping a lid on things and well... really that's all I do. Lay the smackdown. And then I go home.

Nice, hey?

Well, this morning as I rounded the corner to the main office, I spy my son's lil blond head through the office window. For a split second I wonder if he's gotten himself into a bit of trouble, but then I look closer and see he's doubled over in pain and is trying hard not to cry.

Apparently, when the bell rang to conclude the morning recess, he decided to be all Superkid and leap from the five foot tall floor of the playground apparatus. I'm sure it all looked grand and impressive in his head -- I know this cause I'm afflicted with the same Grandiose Thinking disease -- but the execution went all wrong and he ended up hitting the ground flat out and knocking the wind out of himself something fierce.

Which really isn't that big a deal. We've all had it happen before. But it shouldn't still be hurting over an hour later. At least... I didn't think so.

There were some logistical problems to overcome and, thankfully, Mr. F was able to burn over to the school and take the Kid to the hospital while I took care of my lunch shift. We met up at the hospital and after seeing the long line that was going nowhere fast; made the decision to try our luck getting in with our G.P.

Luckily, things fell into place. Our G.P. checked him over thoroughly and assured us that the Kids' ribs were all fine and his spleen was no worse for wear. He was just gonna need some ice and rest.

Ice and rest and a serious Reality Check about jumping off of high stuff.

The New Adventures of Kitty Killswitch

2009-08-31T08:39:00.004-06:00

Yesterday morning I was up bright and early. Well... I was up at 7am.

It's true that there's not many things that can get me up that early on a Sunday, but some of my derby girlfriends and I had planned to take on one of the local skate parks before the onslaught of pubescent dudes and their Boards of Terror took it over. We were pretty certain that no sk8erboi's would be up at that hour.

The morning was fresh and just a bit chilly. I threw on my clothes from the previous night's practice and grabbed my gear and a muffin, hoping to have got my directions straight. We were going to one of the city's newer skate parks... I guess that skate "plaza" is the correct term as such things go. A skate plaza is apparently set up more like a skater-friendly urban terrain. No bowls, but lots of rails and stairs, ramps, jumps, transitions and the like. Oh... and also a quarter pipe. (which is like a one-sided half-pipe; hence the "quarter").

I had switched my indoor wheels out the night before and my skates were sporting their hot pink rubber-y outdoor ones. This was their virgin run. Yup. I had not yet skated outdoors. I had heard that outdoor skating is a whole different ballgame, but honestly? I kinda thought that maybe people didn't really know what they were talking about. Were overreacting.

Not so much Overreacting, it seems.

:)

Now, I had just spent the evening previous at derby practice. It had been a bit of a "free night" -- one of those practices we call a Dance Party practice. After some warm-ups and a bit of endurance drills and basic skill work, our coach will throw on some tunes and we have some fun trying "stuff", working on whatever we want. Truthfully, I was feeling pretty good after that practice. I had mastered some sorta neato stuff, skate-wise. Some two wheel "grinds", some side stance cornering that I had seen some fierce skaters exhibit during warm-ups at our last bout; lots of jumps and back-front transitions. Worked on some wicked cool back-front whip/blocks with some other skaters and was generally feeling good about how far I've come as a skater these past months.

Which only makes me laugh when I think of the next morning.

Gone was my solid, predictable oval track with it's 10 foot safety clearance all around. Gone. Instead I was looking at THIS:

I can not tell you how much that messed with my head.

I have to admit that it took me awhile to get my bearings, so to speak. It was very intimidating to be faced with literal danger at every turn and eight wheels on one's feet. Even skating a pyramid ramp was making my lil heart race. Where had all my ease and confidence gone? Where were my feet that felt so at home in these skates, that could propel me, weave me in and out of a pack of skaters while racing endurance drills with certainty?

Apparently, they were Gone.

And I spent the next hour or so acquainting my backside with concrete. (Yee-ouch!) Getting my mind to let go of it's death grip on Personal Safety and let me jump off stairs and navigate the quarter pipe.

I loved it. Every crazy, dangerous minute.

Now, that's not to say that I was good at it. I fought my body every step of the way. And I'm sure my childlike first attempts at some of this stuff were nothing more than outright laughable. (No. Really. I laughed, myself.) The good, belly-laughing-roll-on-the-ground-until-you-gotta-pee kind of laughable. But by the end of the hour, the highlight reel in my head had a few clips of some sizable jumps off the two-stair, conquering the jump off the one foot vertical box (which was just a bit of a longer way to "fall" than the two-stair), being comfortable on the ramps and making it about half-way up the quarter pipe. (which I'd love to say was high, but really? Not that much.) My two derby sisters dusted my butt at the plaza, taking on the four-stair and a two and a half foot ramp/jump that looked to me like a good way to kill oneself. But, I'm happy with what I attempted... although the four-stair is on my to-do list for my next visit. I know I can do it, I was just too chicken to go for it.

I have to admit that this is highly addictive stuff and I wish I had gone earlier in the summer. There's only a few more months -- if we're lucky -- of outdoor-skateable weather and I'm a bit irked at all the experience I've missed out on.

The girls were talking about bringing a camera one day when we've got some tricks down. So, maybe I'll have some pics to share come fall. And maybe I won't look like a wide-eyed, shaky-kneed kid in them. If I'm lucky.

Already??

2009-08-28T08:49:00.004-06:00

After what seemed to be an endless summer (and not really Endless in the good way, thanks to some crazy weeks spent on the road doing renovations), the day finally arrived.

It seems that everyone had been asking "Are you ready for "Back To School"? (like it's some civic holiday or something.). I admit that had I actually BEEN ready, this question may not have grated my nerves as much... but only having arrived back home three days before school started -- I was not ready. At all. And the question was driving me nuts.

Cause there was some Stuff to be done round my house. Important stuff and needful stuff and, whatever. Bottom line is that I found myself skulking around Staples the day before my children's first day of school, buying their school supplies.

I realize that the end result is the same... my kids went to their first day of school with all the right stuff in their backpacks. Just like everyone else. I just was way more stressed about it. Which leads me to mutter those Famous Last Words:

Next year....

Nevertheless, I was pretty proud of my grommets as they posed for their pics at the door, grown taller and tanned and looking ready for the next school years' adventure.

I'm amazed at all the changes the years have brought. It doesn't seem that long ago that each First Day would have me "recharging" Kissy Kitty with love (a cute little pendant that I hung on the Princess' backpack as she wanted to feel like I was there with her. Kissy Kitty's job was to hold all my kisses so that the Princess could go get one whenever she needed.) and talking her through what to expect that day. Now... Kissy Kitty still hangs on her backpack, which makes me smile, but it's just a cherished relic of her childhood; not something that's needed any longer. This year, as the past few have been, she ran off eager to see her friends again, happy to be in a new class and excited for the projects and things she will be learning. She is a very social, easy-going kid who is a natural match for school in many ways. Well-behaved and just "cool" enough to inspire other kids to act the same, the teachers love her to bits and she has grown an amazing amount; confident and self-assured, as a result.

The Kid has grown up so much this last year, but some things never change. The little dude hates school. Granted, proclaiming so much on the very first day is might be a little premature on his part. But it is not an easy match for him. I struggle to know what's right for him. Do I help him to persevere through something that challenges him, that pushes his boundaries by expecting a standard from him? Cause I don't see that as being all that bad. The Kid is going to have to live in a world that will expect those same things from him; and he will have to meet that challenge, or else live an isolated and perhaps unsucessful life. But, there is a part of me that wonders if he wouldn't do well in a homeschool situation. If he wouldn't flourish where he's not constantly found somewhat lacking as a person or feeling a bit out of the loop in terms of "the other kids like this or find it easy to be here, why don't I?". I sort of feel that this year will be a turning point for him -- or at least for me in helping me know what he needs. Either things will level out for him, or it will become clear that school isn't his best environment.

Whatever the case, I think that this year is going to be pretty memorable. And hopefully only in good ways!

Stranger and Stranger.

2009-08-24T22:41:00.002-06:00

Does it mean anything important when you realize something kinda weird and strange about yourself?

Cause lately I've noticed that I have this strange compulsion to do stuff while I'm brushing my teeth at night.

I think I've always been like that -- most would probably just call it multi-tasking. I straighten the bathroom, attempt to slip my headband over my head for when I wash my face later, or maybe start the shower or stop to pick at a blemish (and really, I know... Ewwwww...) or do any one of many things which are not, by definition, furthering the cause of cleaning my teeth.

On the positive side, it means that I often end up brushing my teeth for large amounts of time which would probably make my dentist smile and send me a nice, smiley note saying "Keep Up The Good Work, Flutterby". That's good, right?

On the other hand, well... I'm brushing my teeth for a long time. Nuff said.

Any of this would just be a cute little annotation to the list of Things That Make Me Speshhhal, except that I'm finding it a bit worrisome. Cause I've tried to stop it. You know, stop doing the Other Stuff and just Be One With The Brush. Focus. Stay on Task.

And I can't.

Isn't that just a bit effed up?

I sorta thought so.

The One Where I'm Going Slightly Crazy With Busyness.

2009-08-18T15:57:00.003-06:00

Yeah. I've been busy. Super, super busy and I've about had it with the busyness.

And as much as I'm sure you're all dying to hear all the mundane, ridiculous things that have been filling my days, (what? I thought you guys liked hearing that stuff!!) I'm going to skip that part lest my head blow up and splatter it's brain-ish contents all over the wall behind me.

I'm going to talk about really important stuff instead.

Derby.

Ha hahaha. Got you all there... Don't think I didn't hear that collective sigh. Don't think I didn't see you roll your eyes and make little swirly Crazy-Lady Gestures beside your head with your non-derby loving fingers.

But seriously? I do have derby stories.

*chirp chirp* *silence*

Really, readers? That's all you can give me? Crickets chirping and silence in response to the temptation of DERBY stories??? Really?

I expected more.

*sigh*

OK, the truth is, I really don't have anything to write about. But I'm feeling bad for neglecting this little blog. I'll try really, really hard to find something to write about.

Promise.

I still can't believe you didn't want to hear the derby stories.

:)

2009-07-30T10:12:00.002-06:00

It's hard to believe that summer holidays are halfway done. I had all these plans for how vacation was going to go; things to do... it was going to be the perfect balance of work and play. I was going to get up at the crack of dawn and do my daily stuff before the kiddos got up... They were going to work with me in the yard... I was going to tackle some big projects...

Right.

The truth of the matter is that some projects have been tackled, but there a couple still staring me in the face. And the whole idea of children working with me seems to be nothing more than a pipe dream. The crack of dawn bit? Forgot to take into account the fact that the kiddos are keeping pretty late bedtimes during the holidays and thus Mr. F. and I end up staying up much later, just to enjoy some peace and quiet in the house. And after only falling asleep at 2am; the crack of dawn is not seeing my face anytime soon.

Which basically means that SOMEONE has to take charge, here... and that person should likely be of an adult/parent persuasion.

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Our derby scrimmage was a huge success on all accounts. We pretty much played to a capacity crowd and put on a pretty great show. The score was tied at halftime and the intensity was high! My team won, which was kinda cool. First time I got to skate the victory lap and be congratulated by the other team. I played a pretty good game, in my opinion, and learned a ton from the great girls I was playing with. Three minor penalties, but no majors -- and I didn't really even get slammed by any good hits. Which either means I'm getting good at this, or that I'm not in the action enough. Anyway, it was nice to wake up the next morning only feeling moderately sore. I've got a few bruises to show for my time and effort but nothing huge or picture worthy!

*****************************

The next few weeks are going to be busy. A fun week at the lake followed by a not-so-fun week of morning til night renovations on our rental property. A quick trip to play derby in Calgary at the Tattoo Festival and then I'm back to the rental property to finish off the final touches and do an open house. This place REALLY needs to sell. Gah!! After that I've got about a week to get the kiddos ready for school and finish off some of the projects here at home. Namely this ginormous closet organizer that I've got to assemble. It's messing with my head, all sitting there in it's poorly labeled boxes with no instructions. Taunting me with visions of sure failure and dismal assembly scenarios. I will have to find a way to conquer my fear. :)

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The Kid has taken up a new routine of reading each night before bed. I really think it's cause of the Princess' example. She absolutely loves to read and we regularly spend some special time before bed with her reading out loud to me. Well, it seems that the Kid wants to get in on some of that action, too, and I couldn't be happier.

Grade One was kind of a tough year for him; he's a classic little boy who struggled to stay put and stay quiet; the idea of buckling down and actually WORKING at something that didn't come easily was pretty foreign to him. And reading was something that didn't come easily. It's not that he didn't GET IT... he'd just rather not WORK at it. But, somehow... almost miraculously, he has now decided to nail this. And he's tackling it in a pretty big way, reading books at a grade four or five level -- which isn't something I expected at all. He struggles through them and is truly working hard to decipher and decode these words, to make sense of the punctuation and dialogue and I could not be prouder.

*****************************

All in all it's been a pretty good summer thus far. I look out my window and see actual, green, growing grass. Our fence is almost done and Mr. F. will be doing the rocked portion of the yard sometime next week while I'm working on renovating the rental. The kids are tanned and enjoying a leisurely summer at home, playing with friends and doing Summertime Kid Stuff (which was something we weren't sure would pan out when I was working full time) and we've got a week of lake time ahead; visiting with beloved family members and enjoying some relaxing sun, sand and water. Hopefully the next four weeks goes as well as the first four.

Skate Hard. Turn Left.

2009-07-25T09:41:00.002-06:00

My eyes opened this morning as this bright, shiny thought hit my brain.

DERBY TONIGHT!!

Our league has been working tirelessly to pull off an interprovincial Scrimmage tonight. Two derby games followed by a fab after-party. So many details to look after when it comes to bout production. It's like planning a wedding, only more violent.

But, we have prevailed and last nights' practice was a thing of beauty. Derby girls who had arrived in Fluttercity early swarmed the track. And the sight of that much speed, intensity and general derby awesomeness was a sight to behold, really quite awe-inspiring. The mood was high and it was a perfect intro to what I hope is a fantastic night of high adrenaline action for our fans.

The past few weeks have been a blur of activity; from completing my tasks as bout committee member and Interleague Rep, attending practices, pimping out tickets in our city's open air mall and even some arts and crafts action as I got my two scrimmage shirts painted, torn, laced, and stitched. Our bout committee was stretched thin. We are a small start-up league and this is our first really big production. We wanted to do it right, do it well, set a benchmark that other leagues can respect. I think we have done it.

Our humble warehouse has been transformed. The concrete floor that we abuse weekly is now shined and polished and looks ready to inflict some damage, itself. The track is laid and lighted and just looking at it gives me shivers!

I've never before been a part of a sport which draws an audience. But now that I am, those movie sequences where the athlete looks out over the empty field before a big game... they make a whole lot more sense. It's like the seed of something great is held in the quiet. The emptiness of the track is actually not empty, it's pregnant and alive with the energy of the collisions, the plays, the screaming and cheering, the pounding of music and yelling announcers punctuating the air with their play by play. It's like you can see with your mind's eye the swarm of your teammates on the track, can hear the smack of bodies hitting the floor -- the sharp crack of equipment and the dull thud of flesh and bone -- and the low hum and hustle of wheels flying over the concrete. You can smell the sweat and the raunchy equipment; the aroma of vendor treats and food and spilled drinks.

I've decided that I love that scene.

Tomorrow morning I will wake up and will feel like I was hit by a train. It is a full body pain that goes to your bones. It is new to me, only having played two bouts thus far, but I already know it well. It is something that your brain doesn't forget and can recall at will.

I don't look forward to it.

But I run towards those moments that will bring it. The straining and striving. Pushing my body to it's max, pulling out all the stops on my endurance level and energy. Overcoming that primal part of one's brain that screams at you to avoid the collision, to bypass the hit, to stay away from the action. Each jam is filled with personal drama. The moments fly by and it's a constant battle; plays made, opportunities grabbed, hits completed... or the sting of letting a jammer get by, missing that opening, leaving yourself vulnerable for a nasty hit. Yin and Yang. And each moment impacts you, like a little emotional explosion inside your head, propelling you to the next with either the stark resolution to never let that mistake happen again or the heady sweep of adrenaline from doing your job well.

I want to earn my pain, and know that tomorrow morning another derby girl is waking up feeling the same way, and it's cause I did my job well.

I am so proud of my derby sisters who have worked so hard to make tonight happen. We are a force to be reckoned with. We are ready to put on a show that sets a standard in our province for production benchmarks. We are ready to be rockstars.

Summa-Time Fun!

2009-07-24T16:38:00.003-06:00

Last weekend we enjoyed a sunny daytrip to visit my sis-in-law, the lovely JJ.

It was a beautiful, hot day and it didn't take long for all four kiddos to hit the pool water to cool off.

For four hours.

Such is the life of a child.

Thanks for a wonderful, relaxing time, JJ.

Cheater, cheater...

2009-07-18T15:42:00.005-06:00

It's been over a week since I last posted and I need something to get my mind in writing mode again. So, I'm cheating and stealing a meme from my lovely sis-in-law's blog.

1) What would you like written on your headstone?
Not sure if I like the idea of a headstone. I kinda want to be just plain old buried under some great big beautiful tree in the wilderness or something like that.

2) What is your dream car?

This looks like fun. I think I'd have to fight with Mr. F. for it, though.

3) Is pornography morally wrong?
Yes.

4)What is the best music video EVER????
For pure, Notebook-esque cryin' lovin' hurtin', check out Rascal Flatts,"What Hurts The Most" and for totally hilarious literal take on a classic mind-boggling video, check out "Total Eclipse of the Heart." and, last but not least, a haunting, eerie video that illustrates Live's "Lightning Crashes"

5)Do you carry a donor card? Why or why not?
Actually, I don't think I do... have no idea why.

6)What color do you prefer your pens to write in?
Black!

7)Are babies cute?
Of course they are, but I personally think that puppies are the cutest of all infant creation.

8)Do you subscribe to a magazine? Which one?
No. I would subscribe to National Geographic if I were to do that kind of thing, though. Or Popular Mechanics. (What? I read it for the articles.)

9)What was the last thing you used a microwave for?
I thawed out a brownie for the Kid. It was lunch. Saturday's rule.

10)What book are you reading?
Just finished reading "Pretties" before I let the Princess read it. Just wanted to be kinda in the know about what things we should discuss or maybe edit.

11)Cite a song lyric that means something to you.
Be my friend
Hold me, wrap me up
Unfold me
I am small
and needy
Warm me up
And breathe me
-- Sia, "Breathe Me"

12)Tell me a joke
What did the hot dog say when it won the race? "I'm the Wiener!!!"

13)Who should play James Bond?
Maybe rugged French-Canadian actor Roy Dupuis.

14)Write a Haiku Poem (3 lines, 5-7-5 syllables)
What is a haiku?
My brain doesn't work like that,
Paring down my words.

15)What's the oldest thing you own?
An antique silver and jade bracelet.

Stuff.

2009-07-06T00:41:00.003-06:00

Today was the Princess' 11th birthday. I had considered doing an all-Princess post today in honor of it, but my Parental Fairness Alert reminded me that I was unable to do the same for the Kid's birthday as we were out of town for it. Thusly... I probably shouldn't do for one what I didn't do for the other.

Oi, the guilt...

***********************

I will say, however, how blessed I am to have both my kiddos be such amazing lil treasures. Daily they surprise and bless me with their humor and uniqueness and perspective on life and the world.

***********************

Friday I decided that the Kid needed a haircut badly. He is famous for seemingly sprouting hair overnight, so that his hair looks passable -- even good -- until the morning he wakes up and it looks like a shaggy blond hedgehog has possessed his skull. Bolstered by the advice of a good friend and mother ("it's so easy..."), I decided to take matters into my own hands. The Kid was game, if only a little wary... and the clippers made their first slip through the hair by his left ear.

I don't know if he moved, or if I just plain old did it wrong but I could immediately tell it wasn't turning out so well. A tentative second attempt confirmed that I should probably just Put Down The Clippers and let the professionals finish things up.

I should mention at this point that the Kid has pretty much the full side quarter of his lil head buzzed, and this after he straight out told me he did not want a buzz-cut.

Good work, Mom.

Seriously? The hardest thing was holding back the giggles as I looked at his mangled hairline and trusting face while trying to make up some excuse (so as not to worry him -- the Kid is a teeny bit shy and prideful about his boyish appearance...) as to why Mommy was not going to finish and we were going to go see Bobbi-Jo The Hairstylist the next day.

Turns out Bobbi-Jo The Hairstylist had the weekend off and I had to phone over six salons before finding an opening somewhere. Thankfully, all was salvaged and the Kid is looking his usual dashing self. However, I was treated to a full day and a half of looking at that partial buzz-line and I can't tell you how entertaining that was.

***********************

Line Of The Day Award goes to the polite hairstylist who looked him over and inquired, "So... *pause. blink* ...What look were we going for here?" Bwaaha haa haaa ha!!!

***********************

My derby name has finally been approved, which thrills me to no end. No really... every time I think of it? Little chills. Sweet, little derby chills. It's probably the closest I'll ever get to having my name up in lights. I mean, the sensible part of my brain totally realizes that it's not even my Real Name and there are no lights involved at all, really, and it's actually not close to that at all if one really thinks about it. But, there's the other part of me that is truly excited and actually honored to see my derby name published amongst some of the greats... the all-stars... the NAMES, you know? So, go check it out, here, if you like. I'm about halfway down the list, swimming along with the deluge of other "Kitty"-type names.

***********************

Tomorrow morning I'm off to my parents' cabin for a few days and then to visit my in-laws at their cabin for the weekend. I know... lucky, lucky girl. :)

***********************

"Houston, we have grass."

Yep. Turf was delivered and conquered and is now being watered obsessively. And it looks soooooooo nice. After two years of looking at dirt and mud in the yard... and two DOG years of looking at it being tracked into my house; grass is looking much like Heaven should.

Forget the streets of gold. Bring me Fescue.

***********************

You know when there's just something about a song? Yeah. For some reason this one is makin me rock, lately. Horns up, Journey. Really. Really? Journey. Huh.

Song starts about 2 mins in.

Fond Memories of Sabbath-Past

2009-07-03T22:53:00.002-06:00

Lately I find my mind tripping over remembrances of the many Friday nights spent observing and celebrating Shabbat in the last years.

As this year has run by at break-neck speed, I'm sad to say that our tradition has slipped by the wayside for the most part. I find myself more than a little bit homesick for some of those staid, peaceful moments and traditions that marked a space that I tried valiantly to set apart as an island of time in the week.

I was a Mom at home with my kiddos those years and often based my schedule for the week around preparing our home for sabbath. Monday - Wednesday were rather Normal days for the most part -- just doing the regular, daily stuff a house and children require. Thursday morning was different, though. After getting the Princess off on the bus, the little toddling Kid and I would crank up some music on the stereo (Travis Tritt if he got his way... silly Kid) and he would be my cleaning buddy. Well, he'd try for a while.

Some days it worked great and I cherish those memories of his chubby little hands rinsing dishes and setting them on the drainboard for me or following me with the duster in hand. He LOVED to vacuum (a love which has sadly diminished over time... *sigh*) and would come running when I started the old Filter Queen up, if only to turn it off so he could press the button again. And again, and again.

Other days it didn't work so well, but I've worked really, really hard and spent a lot of money in therapy to forget those ones. :D

It was a full day of cleaning and running laundry and changing linens and airing out the house and I loved sitting down in the evening after a shower with a Pepsi in hand and kids in bed. (Which is absolutely a secret of womanly contentment... a few hours where the house will not be destroyed as quickly as one tries to rescue it.)

Friday was a bit more laid back if I had done my job properly the day before. But this is Real Life and this is Flutterby we're talking about, so there was usually always a job or two from the previous day's To Do list that got pushed over.

I always tried to plan something a bit more special for supper that night, and usually made someone's favorite dessert (hats off to all you moms who make dessert every night -- I'm just not that committed). I was also attending a fellowship where potluck dinners were a weekly occurrence... (yummm!) but this also meant prepping a main course and either dessert or salad to bring the next morning. Add to that baking two loaves of fresh Challah bread -- a traditional egg bread that is likely the most awesome bread you will EVER, EVER have, I swear it -- Friday was pretty much dedicated to the grocery store and the kitchen and trying to keep the kids (well, mostly just THE KID) from tearing apart all my housework efforts from the day before.

And, if all went well, Mr. F came home from work to a table set with our best dishes and my Grandma's heirloom glass candlesticks, wineglasses and some relaxing music playing. The kids were bathed and I hopefully had managed to be somewhat presentable.

Traditional prayers were shared and the Princess' little voice added to mine in the Hebrew blessing over the lighting of the candles. Ancient blessings were spoken over the children and over both Mr. F. and I and we were reminded of the Sacred in a very powerful and poignant way as we marked the beginning of a day "set apart"; and there was evening and there was morning...

If all hadn't gone well... let's just say the picture was less than perfect and there may or may not have been quiet tears of desperation falling from my eyes during the prayers while the Kid hollered and banged his cutlery and the Princess whined about how hungry she was.

Equally as important a tradition was the apres-supper viewing of America's Funniest Home Videos after supper. I'd finish dishes as the beginning credits ran and the kids would hop around the living room, mimicking all the bad falls and spills from the show. To this day, I still totally heart that show.

************************
All these memories have been on my mind lately. I'm not sure if it's cause my babies are all grown up now, and how I sometimes long for those days of chubby fingers and moments spent reading stories on the couch with a little round head tucked under my chin. Or maybe cause I'm dissatisfied with my harried schedule this past year since starting work during the day, feeling that there's not enough time to tend to things like I'd like to. Or perhaps I'm missing that touch of the Sacred in my week. In the scope of all things, I'm not sure just how important it was/is to say those certain words at those certain times or observe certain traditions; but I know how they made me very conscious of a specific rhythm in life. A rhythm not determined by what I wanted to do or how I wanted to spend my time; but one determined by a particular understanding of how, perhaps, God wanted things ordered. And I can't help but think that that was a good thing.

A good thing that I kind of miss.

Just Some Of The Reasons...

2009-07-01T21:05:00.002-06:00

I Love Canada (adapted from The Vancouver Sun)

The toque. For inventing hat hair, Canuck-style.

Tim Hortons. For brewing coffee that tastes as good as it smells. And for chocolate sour cream Timbits.

Pierre Elliott Trudeau. Because he could do handsprings, and drove a gull-wing Mercedes roadster. Because he made us think about what our country means to us.

Polar bears. Big, white, beautiful.

The anti-gun rack. In which our pickup trucks carry umbrellas, not automatic weapons.

McIntosh apple. That sweet crunch was brought to you by Ontario's Johnny (Appleseed) McIntosh, in 1796.

Wayne Gretzky. You don't have to be a hockey fan to call the pride of Brantford a great athlete, and one classy guy.

Salmon. Our iconic survivor.

Greenpeace. For raising global environmental consciousness, and for saving whales.

Perogies. Smothered with butter, fried onions and sour cream. Thank you, old country.

Snow. Because we can't control it. And can't stop talking about it.

The Maple Leaf. Our flag, bold and graphically spare, makes the heart swell.

Beer. There are just some things we do better.

In Flanders Fields. The heartrending poppy poem was penned in 1915 by Ontario surgeon John McCrae, on the battlefield of Ypres.

Red serge. Our cops, from the musical ride to that sexy uniform, are standouts.

Narwhal. Think about it. A unicorn. In the ocean. Awesome.

Prairie wheat. The staff of life. Picturesque cash crop. For miles and miles.

Maple syrup. Without which pancakes would just be a stack of fried flour.

Rideau Canal. Ice, skates, twinkle lights, hot chocolate. Norman Rockwell lives.

Anne of Green Gables. A multimillion-dollar industry, but still our pig-tailed P.E.I. scamp.

Robert Munsch. We love him, and his children's books, forever.

Bushes and boulders. Deserts, glaciers, sea shores, tropical forests, rivers, mountains, lakes, plains. Talk about having it all under one roof.

Manners. Some call us conservative. We call us polite.

Terry Fox. For still giving cancer a run for the money, 25 years on.

Water. We have it. Crisp, clean, cold. Lots of it.

32 Million. Because we could all move to California, and there'd still be room to roam.

Niagara Falls. Spectacular doesn't begin to describe them.

Poutine. French junk food. The real reason we put up with Quebec's familial hissy fits.

Sandra Schmirler. Pride of Saskatchewan, she'll always be our curling Queen of Hearts.

Kurt Browning. Magic on ice, part two.

Trivial Pursuit. In which two Canadian journalists turn question-asking into early retirement.

Leonard Cohen. For having a way with words, and lyrics. For Suzanne.

Michael J. Fox. Dignity in the face of debilitation.

Lynn Johnston. For turning an ordinary Canadian family, for better or for worse, into a world-famous cartoon.

William Shatner. Earth to Captain Kirk: you rock our world.

Eh. Say it loud. Say it proud.

Pysanka. Vegreville's giant roadside Ukrainian Easter egg, proof positive that we have a sense of humour.

Toronto Blue Jays. For putting world in the World Series.

The border. An 8,891-kilometre room divider.

Lake of the Woods. 14,542 islands, 65,000 miles of shoreline. Now that's cottage country.

Mike Holmes: For those biceps and for teaching us the meaning of home renovation caveat emptor.

The Friendly Giant. Before Bert and Ernie, there was Jerome and Rusty and that little chair to rock in.

Grizzly bear. Big, brown and beautiful.

Farley Mowat. The Dog Who Wouldn't Be. Never Cry Wolf. The Boat Who Wouldn't Float. A Whale For The Killing. 'Nuff said.

The Rockies. Because every country needs a backbone.

Bob and Doug McKenzie. For making hosers, and the Great White North, totally hip.

Steve Nash. Here's to the little guy who made it in the basketball bigs.

David Foster. The master musician and pop producer is there for our sick kids.

Winnipeg. Mosquitoes, wind, sub-zero winters and pancake horizon, yet 700,000 of us seem to like it.

Barenaked Ladies. If we had a million dollars, we'd send them a thank-you note just for being sassy.

Shania Twain. Country siren in a leopard coat.

Canadian brain: From plastic garbage bags to goalie masks, from basketball to the Jolly Jumper, we have given the world more than one million inventions.

Blue $5, purple $10. No monochromatic greenbacks for us. Our money is funny.

Sturgeon. That last of the living dinosaurs.

Four Seasons. From sea to shining sea, a lovely ever-changing national mood swing.

Democracy. One free vote. Priceless.

Beaver. Because, as a national symbol, the eagle is just so obvious.

Canadarm. Twenty-five years ago, on the space shuttle, we reached out and touched the world.

Moose. Improbable forest titan. With quite the rack.

Zed. Because we're alphabet purists, and Zee just won't do.

Highway signs. Green and white and read all over. Easily.

Donovan Bailey. 1996 Olympics. 100 metres. 9.84 seconds. Faster than wind.

Alanis Morissette. Her 30 million Jagged Little Pills proved there's no fury like a pop singer scorned.

Louis Riel. Because every nation needs a rebel with a cause.

Roberta Bondar. For going where no Canadian girl had gone before -- into space.

Jim Carrey. Mike Myers. Must be something in the water, because we breed the funniest comedians. Ever.

Canada. It's easy to spell. It means village. What's not to like?

******************
Happy Canada Day to all my Canuck readers. Now, off to the fireworks!

R.I.P. Hammy

2009-06-26T14:49:00.000-06:00

It is with great sadness I report the sudden passing of Snuggles, the Flutterhouse hamster. His time with us was short but memorable and we are shaken by the events of yesterday morning.

There were no signs to preclude his demise, just the discovery of his cold, stiff furry rodent body at the bottom of his cage yesterday morning.

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Honestly, I am pretty rocked by this... it really bothered me to see our hammy's obviously dead body when he was so, well, Normal just the night before. The grommets were pretty upset and distraught. We spent the day planning the funeral and choosing the "plot" to bury our little rodent friend. He was laid to rest in an Oil of Olay Facial Cleansing Cloth box which (mostly) fit him and atop his grave sits a little white cross with his name on it. There were speeches and even a song (Leonard Cohen's "Hallelujah"... compliments of the Princess); all in all, a farewell befitting the sweet little guy that he was.

He loved climbing over me and the Princess when we watched TV and especially enjoyed the little veggie tidbits he'd get every day. He was constantly adjusting his habitat, moving fluff and litter from one area to the other and had finally started using the dedicated "poop den" like a smart little hammy.

I don't have very many pics of our hammy, I was actually thinking just a few days ago that I should try and take some ones that aren't blurry. I guess that won't happen now.

This is what a curious hammy looks like when someone sticks a camera in his face.

Goodbye little Hammy, you will be missed.

Classic.

2009-06-24T20:31:00.002-06:00

Sorry for the two song posts in a row. But there's just nothing more appropriate than a little Alice Cooper at this particular juncture.

Party on, good people.

SUMMATIME!!!

2009-06-15T22:05:00.002-06:00

Spent the day at work outside, enjoying the 30 degree heat, the sun on my skin and the humid air. So glad that SUMMER finally decided to appear. YEAH!!!!

Now just for some time off to enjoy it in.

Oh, wait... I GOT THAT TOO!!!

Can you see my grin from There?? Thought so.

Awesome To The Power of Sick.

2009-06-13T22:50:00.003-06:00

Our derby league played a short scrimmage last night. It was just part of a steak night fundraiser our league was putting on; we broke into two bare-bones teams (one line and one extra jammer each -- we need more girls... send us MORE GIRLS!!) and played 30 minutes of the funnest, wildest game I've ever been a part of. The crowd LOVED us and had a great time and no question... I had a great time, too.

Some highlights:

- Wow. How nice to just be plain old Excited for a game and not feeling like barfing or peeing like before our last bout.

- Our team pulled together an awesome, showy bout production in seriously Record time. Great announcer, terrific music and sound system, lights, scoreboard... the whole nine yards.

- Playing every jam -- priceless experience.

- Facing down some of the big hitters and holding ground. Suh-weet!! And... taking some the hard way and kissing the floor.

- Getting my biggest derby rink rash to date. Six inches of angry red scab centered in a lovely dark purple bruise on my left thigh, compliments of Anna Filactic and the track boundary rope. (it's taped to the floor along the edge of the track. I neatly baseball-slid over top.)

- Having Mr. F. there to be a part of the ref team. He called all three of my minors. *grrrrr*

- Having Mr. F have fun being a part of the ref team! Yay! Derby is now not just My Thing.

- Jamming a full two minute jam against one of our team's accomplished jammers and going point for point with her.

- Hearing people cheering "GO Kitty!" during said jam. Very cool, rockstar moment. Fun.

- Hearing the crowd love the hits, the spills and the showboating. It was fun to Perform and feel that kind of energy directed at the game.

- Steak is totally THE BEST FOOD EVER CREATED TO EAT AFTER A DERBY BOUT. Nuff said.

- Ice cold beer is a close second.

- Loving my derby sistas. No matter how different we all are, they are some pretty rank, fun and caring girls and I'm glad to know each one.

- Waking up and feeling like a Mack Truck hit me the night before. Bruises on both legs, one butt cheek, hipbone and both arms. Knowing that someone else is feeling it that morning, too and it's because I did my job.

Life... is good.

2009-06-13T22:41:00.002-06:00

Really don't have much more to say than that. Been feeling very blessed and lucky lately and enjoying this ride. I feel Well... Content... Whole.

And that is something I will never take for granted.

Where Does She Come From?

2009-06-06T15:16:00.000-06:00

Scene: The Princess is reading Tuck Everlasting to me. We are in the middle of the book, thoroughly caught up in suspense and fascinated with the idea of immortality.

Princess: So, Mom... what would you do if you could drink that water and live forever?

Me: I really don't know, Princess. It would be pretty tempting I guess, but I don't think it would be something I could decide right away. I'd need to think on it.

Princess: Yeah, I don't think I would know what to do either. *thoughtful pause* I think I'd probably have to draw a Venn Diagram...

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Sometimes she blows my mind with this stuff. I really don't think I even knew what a Venn Diagram was until I was much older. (errr... possibly even well into adulthood. Not that I hadn't seen them... just didn't know that they had a name and purpose.)

I love my Princess.

What's For Dinner?

2009-06-01T22:23:00.004-06:00

Ummm... do I smell roasted derby girl? Yes... apparently our sweet lil behinds were on the bout menu -- we were neatly slaughtered and served for dinner last Saturday night -- it was an upset of grand proportions.

Final Score? 174 - 78

We lost by 100 points to the other team.

Sucks to be US.

There were some issues with the reffing that were regrettable and a few other things that could have made the score more respectable and the game less frustrating. Regardless, we would have lost. They are a more experienced team and have been skating longer and frankly, the played Better than we did. I have no problem giving them that.

I will, however, say that our half-time locker room was something straight out of Reality TV. Our tailgunner was barfing in the stall, an EMT was tending to a downed and semi-conscious player (heat stroke) and about half the girls were laying on the cold concrete floor cause it was so crazy hot and stuffy in the venue.

We came back with a much stronger second half and I think we won the respect of the crowd, despite being thoroughly pounded. During one of our MANY penalty calls (the reffing was questionable at times...) someone from the crowd yelled, "It's not a penalty to be from (Fluttercity)!!!" Thank you Random Fan.

It was a great and humbling learning experience and I think our team will be better for it. I, for one, loved every minute. It was by far the single most Rockstar thing I have ever done in my life and I can't wait to get back on the track and do it again. Hopefully do it better, though.

One of my favorite pics from after the bout. I'm sweaty and stinky and all kinds of rank, bad-ass derby girl.
Getting up close and personal with the floor -- one of many times that night.
Gave chase to their jammer, couldn't get a solid hit and had to pull back after 20 ft. hence the wide, snowplow stance.
Team photo. Hijacked from facebook... sorry so small.

Paid In Full.

2009-05-28T17:39:00.002-06:00

Mother Nature did me a solid this week.

See, it wasn't all that long ago that I totally had her back. Pretty much no one was talking to her anymore, but I kinda hung in there... tried to help her along.

I wasn't really expecting anything in return, it was enough to know that I helped out a mythical figure in need. You know what I mean, doncha? Doncha??

So, imagine how surprised I was to encounter my great big cosmic ThankYou this week. It would be easy to chalk this up to chance, to some sort of fluke occurence... except this kind of thing never happens to me like this. See, for me? the whole "curse of being a woman" thing is really pretty much a curse. Not that I'm worse off than any other girl on the planet, just that I can pretty much count on it messing up every big event and thing I have planned. History kinda bears that whole thing out. First night staying over at boyfriend's place? Sports events? Large banquet type things where outfits must fit right? Outdoor Wilderness trips? Grad night? My Wedding Night? Oh yes... Mother Nature generally tries to eff things up for me on a grand and bloody scale. (Ugghh... I totally just said that, didn't I?? Sorry.)

In light of all this (not so) wonderful history, I honestly was not surprised to look at the calendar this month and see that the Crime Scene was scheduled for THE DAY OF MY FIRST DERBY BOUT. Not surprised in the least.

What was surprising was Tuesday.

High five Mother Nature. I hope this means we'll be working together from now on, cause it's been kinda sucky being on the opposite team.

Flip the Switch.

2009-05-25T09:19:00.004-06:00

Derby girls are known for creating personas for themselves. We leave our mild-mannered identities at home and costume up in garish/sexy/subversive/punk gear. We assume a new name and identity in derby; become someone else for the purpose of performance and fun. Someone who is Bigger, Louder, Wilder, Meaner. She is our alter-ego; the "super" to our "hero".

She is the person the crowds cheer for and other players fear. And for most of us, she is the reason we keep coming back, hour after grueling hour of practice, hit after hit. Cause SHE loves derby. She IS derby.

With that, I'm pleased to introduce to my blog friends the chica that helps me flip the switch and become a derby girl.

Kitty Killswitch #266
Position: Pivot/Blocker

Bio: Born on the hood of a 390 GT Mustang, Kitty lives life as she entered it; kicking and screaming. Her love of fast cars and faster living was legendary in the small town she grew up in, where pedal to the metal was a way of life and the badges knew her by name. Tragedy struck early in life when her infamous Railway Overpass Stunt went horribly wrong and changed Kitty's life forever. Airlifted to Megacity's Military Hospital, it took over 30 surgeries and a dedicated team of crack Biosoft surgeons to bring her shattered body back to life. State of the art bionics and a cerebral-digital interface were intended to make her the ultimate soldier; but an unexpected bioware glitch marked her as defective. She spends her days skulking around the shadows of society and her nights burning up the track. Technology resurrected her body, but speed keeps her alive.

Favorite Saying: A sucking chest wound is nature's way of telling you to slow down.

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Only FIVE MORE SLEEPS til the bout. Hoo-ah!